Feb 02 2016

To Stimulate Your Business, Stimulate Your SELF!

“I am me. In all the world,


there is no one else


 exactly like me. 


I am OK!”

                                                                –Virginia Satir

wiggle thumb up


     Run your own business? Post these 18 words on your dashboard, mirror and refrigerator . . . Why? Because even rough tough entrepreneurs need reassurance, and especially when economic uncertainties have a way of making us all feel like too many things (even sometimes including our SELVES) are not okay.

     Have you ever felt like that, or am I just imagining it? Have you felt like that more in recent times than in the past? Do you sometimes think maybe the news media is trying to sink your ship by heaping negative economy stories on your already overburdened shoulders?

     Does it start to feel suffocating? Do you step back every once in a while and start to question your own self-worth? Get out of it! Rattle your cage! Change the channel! Shut down the news!

     Do you really need to take the murders, muggings, accidents, freaky and bizarre incidents and people, and the incessant dwelling on negativity to bed with you every night? Do you really need to wake up with it every morning?

     What would happen if you shut it all down for a few days and used the time instead to relax your brain and remind yourself how truly special and unique you are? Do you really think you would miss much? If you have doubts, take a quick trip to the library or on Google through past newspaper headlines.

daily news    

     Go back 20, 50, 100 years! Surprise! The names and locations change, but the stories are mostly the same. It will be like missing a week of C-SPAN or THE BIOGRAPHY CHANNEL. Nothing Earth-shatteringly new goes on.

     As a sort of sports version of the old expression to do reality checks by pinching yourself, I don’t recommend the method former baseball slugger Bobby Bonilla used, but the idea worked for him: every at-bat, he hit himself on his helmet with his bat just before stepping up to the plate. You can be sure it helped him focus his attention.

     SOMEthing that only you know about can be a “focus trigger” for you. Take a minute and think about that one thing. What snaps your awareness back when your mind starts to drift? Figure it out and use it more. Snap your brain back to the reality that YOU ARE UNIQUE!

That awareness, and following the reality path  that it conjures up, is



stimulous package

In other words, get yourself cranked up, and keep yourself cranked up! It’s catching, and others –internal customers (like associates, employees and vendors) as well as external customers will respond in ways that bring you more business.

Remember that what you love doing best is what you do best, and appreciating your self more will help you succeed at doing what you do best. Now THAT’s a stimulus package that can truly make a difference!

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Jan 13 2016

Business AND Family Freedom Now!

Entrepreneurial Leadership?



… Practice “The 5 Freedoms”


World renown family therapist and author Virginia Satir spoke with me once after a workshop she ran at the University of California. She told me that small business growth and strength, and family growth and strength could both be most readily achieved with the acceptance and conscientious practice of what she aptly called “The 5 Freedoms.”

I share these with you here, now, not as some plaque to hang on your wall, or slogan to bang into your head, but as a road to travel. You may want to slow your brain down and digest each, then ask yourself how your family, small business or professional practice might grow stronger, quicker, by following your commitment to pursue this avenue.


The 5 Freedoms

by Virginia Satir

To see and hear

what is here,

instead of what should be,

 was, or will be.


To say what one

feels and thinks,

instead of what one should.


To feel

what one feels,

instead of what one ought.


To ask

for what one wants,

instead of always waiting

for permission.


To take risks

in one’s own behalf,

instead of choosing to be

only “secure” and

not rocking the boat.


How and when and where can you use this road to help guide your business and family development interests? Please be sure to let me know if this message works for you, if it helps you think big, and to share it (together with your own thoughts if you choose) by clicking on your choice of social media buttons shown below.

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Hal@Businessworks.US     931.854.0474

   Make today a GREAT day for someone!

Open Minds Open Doors 

God Bless You and Thank You for Your Visit!

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Jan 10 2012


What do workaholics,


delusionists, and grieving


friends and relatives


all have in common?



 Why is it that the people who are most in need of breaking out of their workaholic patterns are the ones most resistant to the suggestion? They’re afraid to let go. Well, logically, it makes sense. Fear is the single most destructive emotion (and sometimes, paradoxically, greatest motivator) in existence.

Letting go is life’s single hardest task.


Workaholics share this infamous platform with those who live in delusion as well as those who grieve the loss of loved ones. Letting go means giving up an important part of yourself in favor of moving on, or back into, reality. Many egotistically, and sadly, are convinced that the world and their business could not survive without them.

“Sadly,” because these same people will almost inevitably drive themselves into cardiac care units… or the grave… using the excuse as a rationale that they “never gave up the ship!” It’s a lot like being mentally retarded (and having a daughter who is, I can say this with some authority). The single difference is the awareness of having a choice!

Never-say-die workaholics

 simply choose not to choose.


They know they have a choice, but feel threatened by the idea of changing horses in mid-stream. So they instead invest themselves in maintaining the status quo at all costs. Or, as world renown family therapist Virginia Satir used to say, “they get dried up and shrivel up.”

And, Satir goes on to ask: “Don’t you think this affects the growth of their families and that of those who work with them?” See for yourself. Status quo seekers are everywhere, harboring pain and misery, and transferring their own inadequacies and choices not to choose to change.

How dim the lights that light these lives. How stagnant the businesses they run. How rebellious the children they raise. Choosing situations and leaders who make the choices for them . . . how unfulfilled the lives they live.

This picture is bleak indeed, and it permeates many corners of the corporate and union worlds and government universe but, thankfully, has rarely become the payoff of hard work and self-sacrifice that many entrepreneurs practice. How is that? Because most entrepreneurs play and sleep as hard as they work.

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Jul 24 2011

Only You!

“I am me . . . 


in all the world,


there is no one else


exactly like me.


I am okay!”


 — World renown family therapist VIRGINIA SATIR


[What? You came here looking for that all-time great 56-year-old recording hit “Only You,” by the Platters?]

People around you may sometimes prompt you to think –because you own or run or manage a small business or professional practice– that you are Mr. or Ms. (or Dr.) Awesome in the flesh. And perhaps that’s warranted, especially if you are what’s commonly referred to as “self-made,” in which case: congratulations!

If, however, you can’t even begin to think about your business success because right now you’re down there in the trenches with America’s other 29,999,999 small business owners who are struggling to survive the fanatical progressive/socialist/liberal agenda that has steered government into a trample-free-market-competition mode.

Then the time has come to step back and take personal stock of who you are and where you’re going. And I’m sorry to tell you I can’t help you with where you’re going; only you know that answer. Godspeed!

So let’s explore the real you, the only you, the you that only your inner circle of family and friends knows. I can help you with that. I have lots of experience guiding people (especially business people) to find themselves. It’s not always easy. Some entrepreneurs thrive on making themselves be needles in a haystack.

Begin with accepting the awareness that you are unique.

There is (if you check with your friendly local DNA expert, and as Virginia Satir’s quote above says), no one else exactly like you.


Next, consider that if in fact this is true for every human on Earth, then HOW employees and customers respond to the messages you put out is never exactly the same twice.

Now that should tell you something right off the bat. What you want others to know about you, your products and services is very likely to be not what they are getting from your messages. But let’s return to you.

Government has cultivated dependency among the brain-dead, who make themselves too busy with life to bother with work. Who needs a job when you can get it all (food, shelter, clothing, healthcare, education) for free? There are others who work just enough to get by, but most of them seem to have RDD (Responsibility Deficit Disorder).

You are not among those who live off of others or you wouldn’t be reading this.

But some questions for you are in order: Do you choose to make yourself too busy with work to live life? Is it essential to your survival or are your business priorities simply wrapped around “what if” worries? Do you take enough breaks and pat yourself on the back enough for the good things you do? Do you eat and sleep right?

Have you ever almost died”?

Do you get enough exercise? Are you answering these questions truthfully? Do you realize that because you are unique, so are your needs, so is your activity level, so is your spunk and gumption, so is your faith, your sense of patriotism, and your entrepreneurial spirit? When did you last stop to think about those values and variables?

What can you do right now to give your unique self a boost?

We do, in fact, become what we think about. Have you been thinking about what you really want to become, or have you been preoccupied with being the person you think others want you to be? There’s no such thing as working smarter and not harder. The issue is one of balance. There is a way that you already know . . . and, there is prayer.      


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Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116 

 Open minds open doors.

 Thanks for visiting.  God bless you. 

  Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

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Apr 19 2009


Winners Hug. Winners Smile.<)


OK, Mr. or Ms. Resilience, you’re an entrepreneur and business owner. You work hard long hours and you’re tough as nails. You deal with stuff every day that friends and family can’t even begin to imagine. They can’t figure out why you don’t quit at 5pm, and why you need to “work through” weekend gatherings. They think you’re nuts, but they admire your dedication. Sound familiar? Go Get A Hug!

     As in the “take time to smell the flowers” advice, go get a hug! Too many people go through days without hugs and the withdrawal takes its toll; it chips away at the inner layers of authenticity. One of the world’s greatest family therapists, teacher/author Virginia Satir, always urged people to give and get 12 hugs a day! It was, she said, the only way to grow as a human being. Hugs motivate, she said.

     Many other emotional management experts in business and organizational development say the only way to be truly successful in business is to grow as a human being, to develop your personal authenticity and keep a sense of balance in your life. Everyone has a different way of dealing with and conquering these challenges. Giving and getting hugs is universally reassuring and effective.

     What does your hug scorecard look like for today? Yesterday? Was your last hug one you initiated, one that was delivered to you, or a spontaneous event? Was it a real one or one of those token little brush of cheeks and or shoulders? Chest contact? Forced smiles? “So nice to see you again, dear.”

     Ah, yes, and the bear hugs that come along every once in awhile from some well-intrentioned oaf who never took Hugs 101 in school and sees the occasion as time to lift you off the ground, sometimes so quickly you can’t get your hands out of your pockets!

     Well, let’s agree to limit the hug thing to family and friends. Besides, these days, you might get arrested hugging a co-worker or student or patient or client.

     So what’s the next best thing you can practice in work-settings that will help move you along the path to authenticity? Why pats on the back of course! Who among us doesn’t enjoy getting a backpat for a job well done, or well attempted, or for any small deed that rises above the daily clutter? That’s it? hugs and backpats?

     Well, no, actually, as long as you keep yourself in that genuiness frame of mind, there’s “Please” and “Thank you” and “I love you” [Also: I <3 U] and “I appreciate you” …and the most important motivator of all is the simplest. It’s called a smile. ;<) Pass it on as many times a day as you can possibly get your brain to think of it. Smiles work wonders! 

     It’s so easy to lose sight of these important messages that you need to give out often and freely, when you’re caught up in rushing toward a deadline, or fretting over a lost sale, or staring at a mountain of bills.

     But you know what? You have to keep the hugs and backpats and smiles and thanks you’s and all the rest of your fine engaging qualities out there on the table… through the worst of times as well as through the best… to make more of the worst become best. It’s contagious. It’s a choice. It’s your choice!

Good Night and God Bless You!  halalpiar     

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Nov 16 2008


What ARE you looking


to do with your life?  


     Okay, your business is your life, or at least a humongous chunk of your life, yes?  That’s great.  I love my work and consider myself fortunate to be doing what I most enjoy as my means to earning a living so we’re in this together.  BUT . . .

     When did you last break away from your job

and thinking about your job to . . . hug? 


     Renowned Gestalt-based family therapist/author/icon Virginia Satir www.advanta.net/ said it takes 12 hugs a day to grow emotionally strong.  And you do know that being mentally and/or physically strong enough to do your job effectively, and excel, requires that you also be emotionally strong. 

     What good are you as a business or professional practice owner or manager if your emotional scale is tipped too far to the left or teetering on the edge of a breakdown, temper tantrum, road rage, or worse? 

     So what does your scorecard look like?  How many hugs today?  You initiated them or someone else did?  Planned or spontaneous?  Real or token?  Pitter-pattery or bone-crushing?  Start keeping track.  You’ll learn a whole lot about others and your self.  And the more you know about you, the better you’ll deal with others.

     Ah, dealing with others.  Right.  So now that your cage is arattlin’, lets’ try another quiz: When did you last pat someone on the back for a job well done?  A staff member?  A peer?  A teammate?  An opposing team member?  A child?  A parent?  A stranger?  Your spouse?  A customer?  A partner? 

     People –ALL people (and most domestic animals too)– appreciate being appreciated, especially for performing small deeds and accomplishing routine little tasks that ordinarily go unnoticed.

     Try a pat on the back accompanied by: “Thanks for taking the responsibility to do your homework before playing computer games!” or “Thanks for the great dinner; I really enjoyed that salad!” or “Good job with that regular weekly report; it’s nice to see your efforts be so steady and reliable!” or “Good hustle, Harry; you were almost safe, and you did knock in that run!” or “I don’t ever mention it, but you should know I appreciate that you just automatically do so much laundry every week, and never even complain; thank you!” 

     Or just: “Thank you for helping me become the person I am” or “Thank you for helping me become a more authentic person” or “Thank you for helping me to grow” or “Thank you for being so supportive when I needed it!” 


     In the process, you will “happily surprise” others, but you will astonish your self!  Guaranteed!  Thank you for considering these ideas! 

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Hal@Businessworks.US    302.933.0116

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

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