Twisted Meanings

Published by

The mouth says “Yes!”


 but the body says “No!”


What’s wrong with this picture?

You stand there, head down and tilted to the right, parentally staring over the tops of your glasses.

Your arms are folded defensively across your chest.

Your aggressive right-side shoulder is turned away and leans on the doorway or wall.

Your aggressive right-side foot is being held back by your receptive left-side foot which has it blocked or covered.

And you are telling your contentious investor or your irate customer that she is right, that you agree completely.

A mixed message? 


Great sales professionals know that when your job involves some form of persuasion (name just one that doesn’t!), you can’t learn too much about body language.


Because without some great theatrical dynamics in your DNA, or having taken some pantomimist course of study, people’s bodies speak truer than their mouths.

(Precisely why txtmsgs fail in every attempt to exercise persuasion.)


Without being able to see firsthand how the person or group you’re communicating with responds to greatly handicaps the persuader’s ability to gain acceptance. Remember that every successful decision to buy, or buy in, is one that’s emotionally-triggered–not logically reasoned.

Telephones are a step up from texting because careful listening allows us to “see” responses like a smile, a frown, anxiety, preoccupation, anger, but it’s true that there is nothin’ like the real thing, baby! Skype? Pretty close to in-person, though you’re not likely to ever know if the tie and jacket are just upper hosts to underwear and bare feet!

Studying up on observation skills is always a good thing, but don’t expect it to suddenly turn your tide. Careful listening and effective eye-contact (note the word “effective” means to eliminate staring, glaring, leering, and flirting) are equally important assessment tools. They give you the unspoken chance to make adjustments.

Great athletes will tell you that the ability to make adjustments –batter to pitcher, quarterback to hard-charging defenders, boxer to boxer, skier to slope conditions, golfer to wind, marathoner to temperature, etc.– is the difference-maker and deal-breaker when it comes to actual performance.                                                                                  

Still trying to think of a job that doesn’t involve some form of persuasion? There are none. And that should tell you something all by itself. The better you can be at quietly and unobtrusively “reading” and processing another’s body language (kinetics, if you prefer formality), the more effective you’ll be at growing your business.

When you note someone folding arms, crossing legs, sitting back, jiggling a foot, or steepling their fingertips, you must decide how to mentally/physically/emotionally step back from whatever you’re representing, long enough to prompt a change to more receptive posture before moving forward.

Thinking is one thing. Awareness is another. 

# # #

 Your FREE subscription: Posts RSS Feed

Hal@Businessworks.US  302.933.0911 

  Open minds open doors. 

 Thanks for visiting and God bless you.

   Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Click Here to Comment On This Post

Please Feel Free to Leave a Comment Below


Tag Cloud