The World’s Greatest Expert

on Death and Dying–

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, MD

–Points to Five Stages:

• Denial and Isolation
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

     She said we –all of us–  must experience each of these five stages to one degree or another in the order they are shown above with every loss experience. The only exceptions being instances where people get stuck in a given stage and never get beyond it.

     So as business owners, managers, and entrepreneurs, some of us experience bits and pieces of these five stages everyday with daily losses.

     Kübler-Ross said that losses are not limited to human death, and can  include the loss of a limb or faculty, or ability… loss of a valuable possession (a home, a car, a business), loss of companionship (including divorce and separation), loss of freedom (including jail), loss of a job, loss of a client, loss of a prospect or opportunity, loss of self-esteem, loss of authority, etc., etc.

     And to a lesser degree, we even experience these stages when we lose a dollar, a photograph, a letter, an address, a contest, and so on.

     So what’s the point? Healthy successful people do everything humanly possible to channel all their energies and mental focus on reaching the level (or “Stage”) of ACCEPTANCE as quickly as possible, and on maintaining themselves at that level as permanently as possible.

     Everything else is non-productive. Everything else leaves us feeling deflated and defeated and negative. Some people stay in these places their entire lives. Some are institutionalized. Some do themselves in.

     Stages 1-4 are pure torment. We must go through them, but the goal needs to be to move through them as rapidly as our minds and bodies allow us to. Getting through the maze may take friends and rescuers to stand by shoulder to shoulder. We have all performed that function for someone else, but perhaps have forgotten?  

     Keep always in the front of your mind that no matter how out of control it may feel to be stuck somewhere in denial and isolation, or in anger, or in a bargaining position, or a state of depression, it IS a matter of choice!

     The minute we choose to accept loss, the quicker we can get on with a happy and productive existence and make the most of the short time we each have here on Earth…make the most of the relationships we’ve been blessed with: with other people and places and purposes.

     We need not choose to lock ourselves into suffering and misery. Life and business life are way too short to have wasted time and energy with anything besides being happy and healthy and in active pursuit of our dreams.  

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Input welcome anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar  # # # 

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“I’m Sick of Worrying!”

     An important followup note on last night’s blog post topic: “Worry” as noted comes from being too over-focused on the FUTURE, which ignites weapons of self-destruction fuses and pulls the pin out of expectation grenades that inevitably breed disappointment, followed by negativity, depression, stress…

     This is all true, but as I re-read the post, I see that I failed to include being too overly-focused on the PAST as a worry trigger as well. Consider getting caught up in giving either too much attention to future plans and expectations, or in over-and-done-with past events, as “partners in crime.”

     These “bad guy partners” are out to get you, and you can stop them short, before either one ever gets close to delivering harmful effects to you, your family or your business. Success means simply that you need to exercise more of your brain power to deliver increased personal awareness and increased self-control to your SELF! (Considering Einstein reportedly only ever used 10% of his brain power, just imagine what’s possible.)

     Thinking about the past can be productive, relaxing, and instructional, but not once it reaches the point of dwelling on past events. As with allowing future thoughts to become worrisome, our balance and stability as humans is equally threatened by dwelling on the past. 

     The past is over and cannot be changed. Worrying about and dwelling on it is a nonproductive (actually counter-productive) waste of time and energy. Conscious or unconscious, the fact remains that paying over-the-top attention to either the past OR the future—instead of the (much-healthier) present—is a choice.

     To get past the “points of destruction” in your mind, you need to be a detective about yourSELF. Figure out what it is that trips your circuit-breaker, that gets you “lost” in past or future thoughts and issues. Once you know what your “trigger” is, then every time you are aware of it coming to the surface, let it serve as a reminder to pinch yourself or feel your pulse or heartbeat, or take a deep breath…and return yourself to what’s going on right in front of your face.

     Oh, but that’s hard and I don’t know how to do it! It’s hard if you CHOOSE for it to be hard. You can just as easily CHOOSE for it to be easy. As for how to do it, just start paying closer attention to your own behaviors…how you respond and react to others, to situations.

     Keep track of your words and actions. Write your observations down someplace and review your notes every few days. Keep asking yourself what you are learning about yourself right this minute.

     You’ll surprise yourself. And odds are you’ll far exceed your own expectations of what you believed to be possible for your own physical, mental, and emotional health and happiness. Try it. You’ll like it! But don’t wait too long. There’s no time like the present!      

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Input welcome anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar              # # # 

FREE BLOG SUBSCRIPTION? Click on ”Posts RSS Feed” (Center Column), or now on your AMAZON Kindle for just $1.99 a month after a free trial. FEELING CREATIVE? Visit the daily growing 7-Word Story (That’s now 247 days in the making) and add your own 7 words: http://halalpiar.com/?page_id=157

HERE’S YOUR CHOICE…

___YES, before I do Hal’s (free) 60-second, 4-step

stress solution, I want to read a little bit about stress!

Okay, skip over the NO choice below and the link line under that, and read a little bit first. Then you can come back up to the link anytime you like as you absorb all these great stress factoids that follow. 

___NO, I’m wired and I don’t want to read anything. Just 

   give me Hal’s (free) immediate 60-second magic NOW! 

Okay, here you go.  You get it right here on this site by simply clicking www.halalpiar.com/?page_id=35  When it works for you, please send others here for a dose –friends, family, associates, neighbors, lovers, enemies– anyone who you would like to see be more relaxed and have better control of themselves and their lives. And of course please come back and visit again soon.

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     STRESS does not come from outside you. It is something you produce inside your body by the way you choose to react or respond to people, places, events, behaviors, and things (like a difficult person, an unpleasant environment, a boss’s frown, a car that won’t start, or an overdue bill).

     STRESS is positive as well as negative. STRESS is necessary for getting out of bed in the morning and for doing the tasks we do every day…even for reading this sentence right now! But too much stress becomes physically, mentally, and emotionally unhealthy. It is the most serious drain of human productivity in our lifetime.

     EACH OF US experiences OVERstress in different ways. Some get headaches. Some get stomachaches. “knots” or “butterflies”. Some get back pain…tightness of the neck and shoulders, legs or chest. Some eat too much. Some drink too much alcohol. Some smoke too much. Many get high blood pressure. Most who get high blood pressure also get other ailments, diseases, emotional disorders, or set themselves up for accidents and, all too often, heart problems.

     MOST OF THE BREATHS we tend to take most of the time are too shallow. If you can breathe more deeply and more often every day, you will think more clearly, perform more confidently, feel more relaxed and be assured of achieving maximum productivity more often. You will be healthier. You will be more in control of your feelings, your actions, your circumstances.

     YOU WILL BE more of the person that you’re capable of being that you’ve always wanted to be (and be happier at it)! Pretty good stuff, huh? It truly is. So, now, go back to the top of this post and click on the link and get started NOW making stress work FOR you!    halalpiar

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