Nov 21 2010

Search Engine Sidetracked

Oh, yes, just what we need:


another pizza parlor in town


and another business acronym…


I really do need to stay away from search engines more. Every time I go to check something out, I end up sidetracked in 37 other directions. Hours pass, and by the time dinner’s ready or the dog needs to go out, I’ve forgotten what the reason was that started me off Binging and Googling in the first place. 

A recent such excursion was earlier this week when I –someone who prides himself on being totally on top of all the latest marketing twists and turns– went flying into Bing to check on a reference to “Synergy Levers” being billed as “THE latest marketing concept.” After all, thoughts are things.

 Well, not only did Bing bong, but it also clearly demonstrated that –if anything– I might be looking at some re-hash of a remarkably old marketing concept which had been re-packaged as “THE latest.” All of this means that “Synergy Levers” is simply none of the above. As the hot news flash went on to say, however, it (Synergy Levers) has something to do with SMEs. Whew! What a relief!

I was deleriously happy to discover that Synergy Levers didn’t turn out to be some kind of toilet flush handle brand!

So, okay, here I am, relieved to learn that we were not dealing with bathroom fixtures, but oh, are we ever so over-laden with acronyms, or what? 


I don’t mean to sound (ahem) overly sarcastic here, but this news came right on the heels of  the latest EPA reports on CFPA, CPSC, MDL, and FEC. Now, if I tell you that FEC is “Foreseeable Environmental Contamination,” you can probably deduct (deduce?) on your own that the other magnificent acronyms are not terribly critical to your day-to-day operations, unless you’re in a tree-hugging related business. . . or run a government agency (shudder) or corporate giant operation (double shudder!).

So –back to SMEs–who knew?– “Small and Medium-Size Enterprises.” Of course! What else could it possibly mean? Of one thing you can be fairly certain, SMEs are not the acronymical brainchild (You don’t particularly favor “acronymical”? Listen, if James Patterson can advertise his books as “unputdownable”) of someone who owns or manages a small or medium-size business.  

How did we arrive at this conclusion?

Because there’s not enough time in the day to be jerking around with some obviously governmental-birthed word-shortening letter grouping.

Yes, another one of those C-Span specials that means nothing, nada, zero, zip, 0! (Or maybe “z”? Hmmm.) 

Secondly, who (whom) do you know (besides the car rental agency) that refers to her or his business as an “enterprise”? Really.  


Alrighty then, the S in SME, which stands for “Small,” means (according to the bonged Bing: “fewer than 100 employees for “goods-producing businesses” and “fewer than 50 employees for service-based businesses.” The M in SME, for “Medium” according to “White Christmas” crooner Crosby’s namesake, means “fewer than 500 employees.” Oh, but all this “varies by country.” Well, la-de-dah!

Y’know what? It’s a whole lot more than I want to know. It’s also irritating. Who cares if they’re the owner of an SME anyway? The bottom line is –no matter the size or number of employees in your “enterprise”– are you surviving this terrible economy? Are you pushing out sales? Are you making your business work? Need a little help? Call me at TWW (TheWriterWorks)… SB (See Below)      



302.933.0116 or Hal@BusinessWorks.US  

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You,

 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson] 

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

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Nov 09 2008

Network Media Disorder

These networks,” the doctor continued, “and the borderline-Marxist viewpoint candidates they ushered into the spotlight, have managed to captivate and control your brain!”  

     “I’m sorry to tell you this, my friend, but you,” the doctor leered cynically over the tops of his reading glasses as he shifted his stethoscope from his neck to his shoulders and frowned parentally, “you have a severe case of NMD, and I’m going to recommend you go directly to the hospital for some immediate transfusions.  I’ll meet you there in twenty minutes.”

     “Aaaaah, NMD?  Twenty minutes?” 

     “Well, yes, Network Media Disorder, and, yes, I can squeeze one more patient into my insurance-company-alloted 12-minute maximum-per-patient examination time period, and still have eight minutes to get to the hospital, which is ten minutes away, but I drive fast!”

     “Er, no, Doc!  I’m needing a little bit more explanation from you than that before I go racing over to the ER for this mysterious transfusion that you seem to have prescribed just a little too quick for my liking.  Am I going to die within the next half hour or what?”

     “No, nothing like that.  It’s just that you need immediate attention or –it’s possible within any given hour– you may find that you have allowed yourself to be brainwashed  beyond repair!” 

     The good doctor tugged at his shirtcollar, took a deep breath and proceeded, “You see, by the time the election ended last week, you had already built up a rampaging attachment to CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC, TNT, and MSNBC (and MSNBC all by itself is a rather astonishing attachment considering only seven people in all of America actually watch it!).  

     In the process, your dormant benevalence greeted these screaming liberal radical networks with open arms and you were rapidly transformed into a wild-eyed supporter of electing our nation’s most management-inexperienced, Disneyworld-fantasizing team of candidates in all of history. 

     “These networks,” the doctor continued, “and the borderline-Marxist viewpoint candidates they ushered into the spotlight, have managed to captivate and control your brain.  It was not easy, but with at least $650 million in mysterious campaign donations lining their pockets, they could afford to take some bold and assertive thrusts into your skull, and convince you that change was the answer to the world’s problems, and that the candidates they supported were the second coming of the agents of change.

     “. . . and you, my friend bought into it.  Now you must pay the price of setting yourself up to be thoroughly brainwashed.  It’s either a lobotomy or a transfusion of the fair and balanced FOX network, mixed with some Rush and Sean and Michael and Mark and Laura and Greta, and a few other saviors of society.

     “You need these transfusions before the newly elected dictator attempts to disarm talk radio with his backer’s so-called Fairness Doctrine (it could not possibly be more inappropriately named!) . . . an extraordinarily sick platform if you ask me.  So that, in a nutshell, is why I want you to hurry on over to the ER.  The longer you wait, the more these talking heads will infiltrate your brain, the more you become a sheep, and then we will have some truly major medical challenges to face!”

     “Well, it’s true, Doc, I have become addicted.  I mean Wolfe and Katie and the rest really have welcomed me into their network families and I am afraid of missing even C-Span at this point.  I suppose a little re-balancing wouldn’t be such a bad thing.  I mean, I do rotate my tires, even.”        Halalpiar 

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Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 61 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

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