“I’m too busy for you!”

(Translated: “I’ll never be a leader because

I don’t really care about anybody else!”)

Is “I’m too busy for you!” the verbal or nonverbal message you might be putting out to others?

I just read a promotional endorsement written by someone I know who, years ago, I used to respect. He starts out his explanation of why the particular newsletter he raves about is one of a very few that he actually makes time to read. He opens his statement by saying:

“I’m busy — painfully busy, so

I’m stingy with my time…”

Pull-eease! Who cares? The source, though, may want to know that comments like this scream of the kind of personal frustration known to have led many to depression and isolation.

It would be viewed by not a few psychology professionals as the monolithic signature of an individual who has deep fears of experiencing any forms of intimacy with others.

“Intimacy,”defined by ground-breaking Gestalt Psychology authors James and Jongeward, “is free of games and free of exploitation. It occurs in those rare moments of human contact that arouse feelings of tenderness, empathy…genuine caring…and affection.” 

Businesspeople are not immune to these kinds of connections and cannot hide behind “business” as if it were a protective shield. But many don’t know that they’re doing it. It may be going on for so long, that it feels natural to be a “workaholic.”

Some may say, why interrupt my career mission to get close enough to someone who will want me to pat their hand when they have a crisis? Dealing with other people’s crises slows me down and forces me to sidetrack.

Much has been written in the literature of Gestalt and Reality Therapy about those who play the “Harried Executive” game in life and business.

These are people who define themselves as “overwhelmed” and “overloaded” and “swamped” and “up to my ears…”

They make themselves too busy to have to spend any genuine quality time relating to others.

This is not a healthy mindset, but it is often masked by offering token attentions and participating in general socializing. It frequently requires professional counseling and coaching to move this type of behavior beyond the personal relationship barricade the person has set up for her or himself.

That you might be conveying to others that you are too busy for them, means you are close to the edge of the abyss that forecloses on many of life’s most valuable opportunities.

“I’m too busy” type statements can also be taken by many to mean:

“You’re worthless to me;

  get out of my way!” 

(Can there be any more insulting an attitude to communicate?)

Can you, or anyone who works with you, actually afford to practice being too busy, never mind flaunting it as in the above example?

Time is our most precious and cherished commodity. Of course we need air and water and food and clothing and shelter, but time is what drives those needs.

One of your grandparents no doubt once told you that “Time and tide wait for no man” (a statement that predates modern English and whose authorship is ascribed to St. Marher in 1225) and that “No man is an island” (attributed to the Englishman who was proclaimed the greatest of all metaphysical poets, John Donne, 1572-1631). 

Surely you’ve heard those statements somewhere? Maybe they are worthy of re-considering from time to time.

What kinds of nonverbal “I’m too busy” messages could you be sending out? Arms and/or legs crossed defensively in meetings? Parentally looking over the tops of your glasses at other’s suggestions that seem too time-consuming?

You keep checking your watch, the clock on the wall? You keep checking for text messages? You keep reading emails while someone is speaking with you? Do you walk ahead of others you’re speaking with, or shoulder to shoulder?

Do you pick up the phone and dial when someone approaches you? Do you put off invitations to family gatherings and neighborhood events, or show up to smile and handshake a few people and then slide out the side door when others seem preoccupied?                                                                    

You may want to listen to yourself more…and, hey, check out that great smile of yours in the mirror once in awhile!

 302.933.0116 or Hal@BusinessWorks.US  

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson] 

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

Not all work is labor.

Is There a Crack in Your

Business Liberty Bell?

Dear Ship Captain:

Maybe your people were never at liberty to learn how to hold on to customers when economic seas got rough? No, bungee cords are not the solution! Giving your people the freedom and incentive to learn is the solution. Why now when every penny counts? Because every customer counts! And the bigger the waves, the more widespread the sense of panic — for your customers and customer businesses as well as for your own.

Your customers may not be in the same boat 

. . . but they’re in the same boat!

This of course doesn’t apply if you’re working in a cushy, tax-dollar-supported government position — one of those newly-created jobs we hear about that are simply adding to our catestrophic national debt. (Sorry, had to get that dig in because, regardless of who did what to whom or who blames whom, the fact remains that those artificial “new jobs” are a large part of why things are the way they are.)

Bottom line is that you have to know that being in the same boat as your customers (and your neighboring and affiliated businesses) translates to the need for teamwork in order to survive in storms, and help ensure that every one’s rowing in the same direction. (You’ve seen the Olympic motivational poster: TEAM…Together Everyone Achieves More. It’s true in business too!)

What can you do about weathering this storm

beginning first thing Tuesday morning?

How can you take a firm foothold of quiet leadership? How can you promote and foster teamwork between your own unsteady business and your nervous or floundering customers who may be on the cusp of giving up their loyalty to you, in favor of less expensive products and services?

The first answer: SET AN EXAMPLE. Show your employees and your customers (and other businesses) how to lead your common interests out of the darkness. Sure you have a vote in November, but that’s 60 days away and, even with sweeping changes, it maybe another year before any entrepreneurial-job-creation relief surfaces. (This may help you get started: http://bit.ly/bo3ZJy)

The second answer: FIRST AID. Give your staff a “refresher” crash course on how to trip over yourself trying to delight every customer and every prospect. Keep reminding them to treat every business visit and contact the way they would want their closest family and friends to be treated. Make sure that “The Customer Is Always Right!” is not just a token expression.

Check out an A-1 classic customer service training video entitled “Give ’em the Pickle!” with Bob Farrell http://bit.ly/gD1b6

Develop an incentive planor program that rewards exceptional customer care efforts. Keep in mind that cash is not always the best or most sought-after reward. Read up on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs motivational theory; it works. Start with Net MBA:  http://bit.ly/mKk7D Scroll to “Implications for Management.”

The third answer: LONG-TERM CARE. There are many competent training organizations that specialize in customer service and customer relationship development and management that you can contract with for ongoing or quarterly session programs. Annual and semi-annual efforts are a waste of time and money. Here are two of the best resources to contact: 

Consider a customer-centric “Train the trainer” style leadership program from an organization like TBD Consulting (contact Jonena Relth) www.TBDConsulting.com for options that can bring your designated human resource person up to speed to be able to run ongoing in-house programs.

Another strong alternative –and one that can work independently or in concert with a program like Jonena’s– is Pro-Star (contact Meredith Bell) www.ProStarCoach.com –an exciting new way to provide every employee with their own individually customized computer skill development training and follow-up program, one that also allows for each participant to communicate regularly with her or his hand-picked skill development support team. 

www.TWWsells.com or 302.933.0116 or Hal@BusinessWorks.US  

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson] 

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

“Aha! Foiled Again!”  

With so many contemptuous disingenuous manipulative self-serving business souls running around out there, your odds as business owner of being “taken” by someone, escalate –it seems to me– in proportion to the growth of your reputation for integrity.

I’m referring to the “wolves in sheep’s clothing” types, the kinds of prospective partners and clients or customers who are masters of deception. They are disarming; they pick up on and exploit your enthusiasm; their false commitments seem credible.

Beware Falsified Authenticity!

The motto, slogan, branding line, t-shirt, bumper sticker that best represents the behaviors of these business impostors roaming the planet –and liberally practicing falsified authenticity– might be best expressed in three words:  Promises Not Kept.

Every business owner and entrepreneur has run across people in this category who inevitably cost them large amounts of “learned my lesson” time and money. Some may simply swindle you out of advances, commissions, or expense money. Some may actually be bold enough to bilk you and then take you to court, even blackmail you.

The business world is not just one big happy place!

Sadly, the business world is not just one big happy place filled with genuine people walking high moral ground who are anxious to help everyone in their path take a giant step closer to nirvana.

That’s not to suggest that utopia is impossible to reach; it’s simply an unlikely business destination for many.

It’s also not to suggest that most business leaders aren’t authentic; I believe they are! Or that they don’t practice goal-setting aimed at making the world a better place, I believe most do!

It’s the “one rotten apple” theory that every business owner and manager needs to be constantly and forever on the alert to avoid, because the associated risks of dissing the possibilities can bring down any business literally overnight.

Here’s the least you can do when you feel the least bit uneasy about someone who works him or herself into a position of significant influence and/or compensation (e.g., hiring or promoting someone to a key position, retaining an outside consultant or creative service or professional advisor, considering an investment or operations or financial or marketing partner, etc.):

• Do due diligence. Don’t stop with routine questions or reference calls. Ask references for references and talk with them (“Who else in your organization might I speak with who worked with this person when she was there?” is often a productive and revealing route to take).

• Be suspicious of offers that seem unbusinesslike, until proven otherwise.

• Have a meal together. Ask. Listen. Observe. Note the ways an individual deals with others (e.g., foodservice personnel? people at the next table?). Arrange to be interrupted and see how on-track the person stays, how agitated he responds (or reacts?) to the interruption.

Worried about these kinds of steps seeming too tricky? Worry instead about misreading someone because you put blinders over your good intentions. We’re talking here about the destructive minority who manage to infiltrate almost every business at some point.

They are people who are typically skilled communicators, who can be good at deception — even eye contact, handshakes, mental hand-holding and back-pats.

If you choose to let them set you up be a pawn (fill in the blank) . . . 

302.933.0116 or Hal@BusinessWorks.US  

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson] 

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

Sorry, Friends and Visitors ~~ It’s only been a day, and “Barnegat Girl” still has my mind and my heart captive (See 9/1 blog post below), so I’m taking off tonight instead of my usual Friday. Please return tomorrow for a post I promise that YOU will relate to, entitled: “Aha! Foiled Again!”

Barnegat Girl & Hal

“BARNEGAT GIRL”

10/15/97 – 9/1/10   R.I.P.

We are in deep sadness for having lost a dear family member and great friend and companion today.

It’s never a good time for letting go. This is especially true for the one who’s been the loyalest, sweetest, and most fun-loving guardian of our lives for 13 years. But today, Barnegat was called to a higher place. Her body simply couldn’t survive her permanent puppy mindset any longer.

She was a trooper through and through. No animal on earth could possibly have had more heart than Barnegat Girl. She protected. She inspired. She mended fences. She stood tall in troubled waters. Her smile was real and contagious.

She loved the cold weather and making “dog-angel” imprints in the snow. When we brought her home, it was in one hand; she was the size of a football. Today, as she left us, her 95 pounds of upbeat spirit will live on.

Barnegat had taken us through three moves to three different homes in two different states and she outlived two wonderful male cocker spaniels “Sam” and “Tuckerton” who each thought she was their big sister.

Barnegat loved chasing baseballs and tennis balls and swimming in the ocean –even in the winter ice and snow.

She bounded at the slightest beckoning. And would rise to any occasion regardless of the circumstances.

The proof of her disposition was proven by hundreds of tugging, pulling children over the years that she would reward with licks again and again. 

Her travels took her to the mountains and the ocean coasts of Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New York, New Jersey, Maryland, Virginia, and the mountains of Vermont, North Carolina, West Virginia, and Pennsylvania, plus the coast and farmlands of Delaware . . . and –of course– untold lakes, rivers, streams, lagoons, and creeks all along the way. 

Yes, she was a “privileged child,” but never failed to earn her keep, or be loving and attentive to all who entered her life.

God Bless You, Barnegat Girl, and thank you for 13 years of unsolicited love and trust and the kind of friendship that all on Earth should strive to equal.

It’s lonesome under my desk . . . but YOU, sweet girl, will never be forgotten.    

 www.TWWsells.com or 302.933.0116 or Hal@BusinessWorks.US  

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson] 

Make today a GREAT day for someone!