Apr 11 2011

EMAILS JOIN THE SNAIL PARADE

It used to be just the Post

                                          

Office took forever to get

                                 

the message to you. Now,

                             

dumb emails are joining

                            

the snail parade.

                                                                          

 

The Post Office–no doubt next in line for more government bailouts of lethargic incompetent organizations–remains fully responsible for (and permanently disabled from) getting slaughtered in the marketplace.

They’ve been pummeled by emails, FedEx, UPS, and all the other non-government-affiliated, more convenient, better quality, better performing delivery and shipping methods and organizations.

These private enterprise businesses, keep in mind, bloomed overtly, and directly under the Post Office’s wanted-poster eyes.

But email snailmail?

Email communication failures that end up delaying message accuracy are strictly the doing of the senders.

Every time an email fails (I calculate the frequency of non-spam fairly important yet thoroughly convoluted messages arriving bedraggledly into the stage center glare of my monitor screen spotlight to be about four or five times a week), it’s the sender’s fault.

                                                 

It’s something like throwing a fourth quarter tie-game seventy-yard Hail Mary Pass directly into the encircling waiting arms of the fleet-footed, leaping downfield receiver, but it turns out to be a golfball. 

______________________________

First off, emails are not just short letters or long text messages. They do not take the place of one-on-one or group meetings. They are not substitutes for phone calls. Carrier pigeons? Well.  

Emails are emails are emails.

                                                             
  • When we GET them, they are either junk or important, or they’re provocative or relevant-sounding enough to get past the spam sentries (but are still probably junk).
  • When we SEND them, we labor over them and painstakingly tend to editing and refining the message and recipient list and including just the right amount of cordiality. I mean, don’t act like you’ve never sat back and tried to imagine how your message will be received.

OR,

  • We just mindlessly FWD those we think will amuse or entertain or educate certain collections of family, friends, and acquaintances.

Right? Ah, but sadly, the answer is: no; that’s not all.

                                                             

There is one more omnipresent category –the silent majority it seems to me– that careth not a thing about who or what circumstances may be on the receiving end.

(At least on the phone, you can hear if someone has a miserable cold!) 

Is it just my imagination, or do most emails lack forethought, editing care, and common courtesy?

Hmmm? 

                                                 

Since the electronic nature of the medium is so impersonal, we are therefore justified in acting impersonal with the tone and content of what we send? Is it really necessary to not include some sort of greeting or sign-off courtesy?

Why not just staple-gun the thing onto the tree in front of my office and wait for me to notice it?

It really doesn’t take much to say “Hi Joe” which is a nice thing, unless your name is Diane or something. And it’s not like time-consuming hard work to end with “Regards” or “Have a great day” or :Stuff it!” or SOMEthing. Really.

Which brings the subject of ESNAILMAIL full circle. Why is email time-consuming? Because too many email senders “wing it” and pay little or no attention to detail, or rely fully on attachments which don’t open, or that set off alarms, or come packaged with 27 cute little pop-ups trying to sell exploding washcloths (no need to launder ;<) . . .

. . . and then –because they don’t get it right the first time– have to RE-send a corrected or edited or updated version to say what they should have taken the time and trouble to say right the first time. VOILA! A phone call would have saved time. 

Oh, and while I’m at it, please stop with the Reply emails that say things like: “OK” or “Got it” or Sure thing” or Later” or “Let’s do it!” –especially with all 106 prior emails in the string still attached.

OK? THX.

                                                  

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www.TheWriterWorks.com or 302.933.0116 or Hal@BusinessWorks.US

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

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Jun 03 2010

The Internet Challenge and A Couple of Laughs

DID YOU KNOW THAT

YOU-KNOW-WHAT

HAPPENS?

     It used to be that the only shovelfuls of you-know-what that hit the proverbial fan were flung at us relentlessly from our TV screens. And still we need only watch about 6 seconds worth of any network news broadcast (and how amazing these have not yet come to be called opinion broadcasts) to know that this bull you-know-what stuff is still spewing (splattering? Ugh!) forth about every other tick of the clock.

     So TV-after-Sesame-Street actually has some value. It taught us boredom. It taught us all how to not step in you-know-what. (Curiously, though, some who make it big are said to have stepped there. Hmmm. Go figure.)

     And then along comes the Internet: a truly remarkable and revolutionizing challenge to our senses. Compared to TV, which puts it right out there, the Internet rolls it all up in clandestine little balls and tucks it neatly into our pockets, between the sheets, into  overhead compartments, and under our tongues (well, okay, the tongue thing is pretty disgusting, even after being ordered to eat you-know-what!)  

     We have mastered TV you-know-what, but we’re being tricked everyday by the Internet versions. Can you forever avoid opening a spam email? Isn’t there always that one-time appearance of an old lover’s name in the FROM column, just enough to trigger-finger that mouse of yours into a giant porno pop-up that blazes your trail for 6 months of Pfizer Viagra email you-know-what?

     How about all the websites that start you out with a free ebook download – a terrific 7-Step Action Plan for boosting sales and winning 635 new customers by 9am tomorrow — that takes up two whole paragraphs buried in 19 pages of splendorous full-color you-know-what sales spiels.

     And what else could this innocent little download website possibly be selling except (Aha!) replacement color print cartridges that you just dried up in exchange for your email address that now entitles you to 476 exciting new junk emails a week for life. TV was never like this.

     With TV, you change the channel. With the Internet, one slipup, and a little hourglass guy jumps in your face and freezes your screen to the point where you either heave the whole pile of hi-tech you-know-what out the window, or you start banging on your 15 year-old neighbor’s door to see if you can pry the iPod loose long enough to enlist some hourglass killing skills at a hundred bucks an hour. AW, YOU-KNOW-WHAT!  

     Well, here you are, a respected (let’s hope) business owner. You’ve worked your butt off to get where you are and build your business, working nights and weekends. Your geeky brother-in-law works four-day weeks out of his bedroom closet in his pajamas selling search engine optimization services online and makes twice as much as you.

     No you-know-what! That you-know-what head?

     TV taught us to relax and let down our guards because all of it is no-brainer you-know-what. The Internet has forced us to arm ourselves, and be forever on the alert to keep our businesses out of the deep hmmm-hmmm-hmmm. Internet business buyers beware!

 Comment below or Hal@BusinessWorks.US  

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! God Bless America, and God Bless Our Troops “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]  Make today a GREAT Day!

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Apr 24 2010

DEATH BY SPAM (Not the stuff in the can!)

Keep Your Delete

                        

Button Handy

                                              

While Sorting

                      

Out Prospects!

                                                                                         

     I like to wake up every morning feeling thankful to still be here and reassuring myself that I am part of a healthy global society. And every morning without fail, my hopes for the healthy global society part go down the tubes when I boot up.

     There it is in my face: the never-ending daily bombardment of sicko spam messages cluttering up my email system and (until the recent installation of blocking software) my blog site.

     It’s almost inconceivable that there are so many insecure, neurotic, deranged people out there hovering maliciously over their keyboards. Are they zealously rubbing their slimy little hands together? Are they smacking their sinister (and diseased, I’m sure) lips in excitement over having sent out rampaging waves of garbage to millions of annoyed recipients.

     Hey, I’m all for freedom of speech, but what about freedom of listening? Where are the rights of those among us who are simply not interested and haven’t the time to waste listening to or reading (or even deleting) the cursed mental case nonsense that spews forth to our monitors as we sleep and work?

     All of us, I guess, could go on into infinity with this evil, insulting, intrusive subject matter, but I’m not sure there will ever be an answer without regulation, and I’d rather have spam. So I’ll stop this diatribe and instead mention that the whole distasteful issue reminds me that we have to spend much of our business lives fending off spammy prospective customers too.

     It doesn’t matter if you’re in retail, wholesale, manufacturing, or professional practice . . . whether you run a multi-million dollar operation out of a huge complex or you work at your kitchen table . . . practically every day, most business owners and managers and entrepreneurs and sales professionals are forced to spend inordinate amounts of time having to qualify, or sort through, questionable prospects to determine if they are or could be legitimate customers.

     Here’s the point: You can’t be afraid of losing business by being (pleasantly please) direct with prospects. If someone is that unstable, uninformed or uncaring that she or he can’t give you a straight answer as to what his or her needs are, odds are you won’t win a purchase commitment no matter what you say or do anyway. 

     If a prospect is unable to share her or his impressions of your product or service ability to meet or exceed those needs, that person is not ready for you and what you sell. You may be dealing with someone who is on a fishing or tire-kicking expedition, or simply can’t afford the price-tag or the emotional attachment.

     When you’re not ready to write off a resistant or noncommittal prospect, you need to be thinking about how much more resourceful you can be with the time you’re spending trying to turn the QE2 in a narrow river, when a small boat will get you across right away.

     Develop a personal system for sorting out prospects that includes great respect and genuine appreciation (return visits are always possible!), and that injects some reasonable haste. Then stick to it. Second thoughts don’t work in sports or business. Rely on your own judgement, and trust yourself more.  

Click Here to work with Hal!       

Comment below or Hal@BusinessWorks.US Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Day! 

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Dec 16 2008

IT TAKES ALL KINDS, my Mother used to say.

Hey, ja’hear the one about . . .? 

                                                                                

     You know how you get all kinds of email junk FWD’d to you every day from well-intentioned friends?  It’s like spam that’s endorsed (vs. unsolicited, which is much easier to delete). 

     There are the emails and attachments from “the guys” who have somehow convinced themselves that you are the perfect compatriot to share piles of what they think are yuck-it-up jokes (that come out of the same distasteful sexist denial closets as Elliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton).

     Then there are the “other guys” (sometimes the same ones) who love to bombard you with x-rated porn talk and photos and videos because they get off on it and can’t imagine anyone not being pleased for the viewings.

     Oh, yeah, and less offensive but equally weird, there are the schmaltzes who send every dripping piece of Hallmark-style drivel that give you the creepy-crawlys just to scroll through them. 

     Oh well, it takes all kinds, my Mother used to say (an Irish philosopher, of course!)

     Now I’m hardly a prude, and I enjoy a good email joke as much as anybody.  I especially love getting emails filled with spectacular photos of spectacular places I know I’ll probably never see otherwise … kind of a National Geographic fetish.

     But, you know what, the FWD’d emails I like best are those that make me think.

     The best of these that I’ve seen recently (anonymous of course) has provoked me to wrap tonight’s post around it because I think it’s something worth sharing, especially on the advent of our joyous and peace-filled holiday season.

     Personally, I try to never use the word “can’t” or “cannot” because I believe everything and anything CAN be done, but this list of 4 stopped me in my tracks.  It made me think.

     Tell me what YOU think (Click on “No responses yet” or “Comments” below then type in the window, or email with “4 Things” in the subject line to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com . . .

FOUR THINGS

YOU CANNOT RECOVER . . .     

1.  The stone, after it’s thrown.

2.  The word, after it’s said.

3.  The occasion, after the loss.

4.  The time, after it’s gone. 

 

Put your own spin on this, think about what it means to YOU.  Make the conclusion you come to about it work FOR you, not by regretting, but by being kinder than necessary, kinder than you usually are, kinder perhaps than you want to be.  Go ahead, try it for the holidays! What have you got to lose?  A little kindness?  Hmmmmm.          halalpiar

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