Feb 04 2015

The 40-something “Family Sandwich”

You’re 40-something and trapped!


You’re 40-something and you’re sandwiched in between aging parents and young children. trying to build a career. Even the weekends are starting to suck. The family dog (or cat) is beginning to be your BFF.

What’s next? STEP BACK, that’s what! Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing (except driving, holding a baby, operating heavy equipment, or standing with your back to a cliff or stairway), take one physical step back away from the gum-biting clamor, pinch yourself in the butt and take three deep breaths. Just three, but don’t fake it. Three. Deep. Now. Before reading more. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Now pay attention to this: No job is worth losing because your mind gets too busy racing in and out of your neighbors’, relatives’, co-workers’ issues and shortsightedness. They don’t understand your upsets. They never have. They’re not inside YOUR brain and you don’t need them to survive your circumstances. You need your SELF to make adjustments for your SELF — NOT to please others!

You need to “rattle your own cage” and that doesn’t mean a zoo or prison vacation. It means doing some honest soul-searching about who you really are, what you really want out of life, and how you think you’re going to get there.

Rule One: Take Charge of Your SELF! Only YOU know what YOU need to do. Listening to what others have to say is a good thing. Doing what others think you should do is not. So listen all you want, but ACT on your own behalf.

For every idea you have (after the three deep breaths!) about how you need to proceed with your “sandwiched” life, write it down: each idea at the top of its own page (yes, with a real pen or pencil on real paper . . . trust me you’ll get more authentic results than keyboarding it!). Put a minus- sign at the top left and a plus+ sign at the top right, with a vertical line top to bottom down the middle of the page.

Then identify the negative and positive points related to each idea in the appropriate column. Step back again. Yes, and three more deep ones. Then analyze your ideas based on comparing the two columns and on what you honestly feel inside your gut about each point, and each idea.

Maybe you’ve been being too patient and are filled with anxiety? Maybe you’ve not been patient enough and are filled with annoyance or are simply adding fuel to the fire? Where’s the right balance?

What are you doing right this minute to achieve the right balance? You think this is an easy exercise? It’s not if you’re doing it honestly. But is it worth it? Of course it is. YOU’re worth it, aren’t you? Then work at it.

Here’s a Broadway-bound musical: www.FearlessTheMusical.com filled with love, anxiety, humor, annoyance, and resolution to inspire. It’s all about finding balance — Try some of the “song previews” and remember: You’re never alone when you seek balance. Sing. Dance. Hum. Breathe. Think. And along the way, enjoy–and TRUST your SELF! Be FEARLESS! You’ll get through it. You can do it!

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Hal@Businessworks.US   931.854.0474

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!




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Oct 30 2013





Think about it.  Are you representing your SELF in some way that’s not truly you?  Is it to make a sale? Get a date? Be accepted? Make points? Save yourself from losing face? Is it what you like to see other people do? No? So why pull the covers over the real you? Do you think others can’t see through the façade? Can’t you tell when someone else is faking it?

Authenticity isn’t a make-believe attribute that can be manipulated to suit the occasion. By its very definition, it means being genuine all the time. Authenticity, in other words, cannot exist on a parttime basis, or be in effect one minute and not the next. You either are who you represent yourself to be or you aren’t.

Yeah, some say, but there are always exceptions to everything. Not true! You either believe in God or you don’t. You either love someone or you don’t. You are either real or you’re not. There are no two ways about it. You can’t use Bcc emails to have someone else (or others) know your “secret ” communications and then pretend you are sending someone a private message.

Integrity is often defined as doing the right thing even when no one is looking.

As stampeding technology sweeps us all into lower levels of sociability — actually redefines sociability to be global instead of personal– we can often find ourselves distancing ourselves from others who are physically and emotionally close, in favor of socializing with total strangers who may seem less threatening and who may be more conveniently available to be in contact.

Is this behavior in our best interests career-wise? Possibly. In terms of personal growth and development as a human being who wants to make a difference in the world? Not likely. Performance track-record and familiarity breed trust. People accept and buy from one another (including health services, by the way) because of trust more than any other factor, including price!

How do we take the first step toward becoming more authentic? By recognizing that it is a choice, and then by choosing to live more honorably, and finally by setting up support systems to help ensure continuation of that practice. Is that difficult? If you choose to make it difficult, yes. But, YES,  you can choose to make it easy. Behavior is a choice.

# # #

Hal@BusinessWorks.US  931.854.0474

Open Minds Open Doors

   Make today a GREAT day for someone!

  God Bless You and Thank You for Your Visit!

No responses yet


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