Shakin’ in your boots?

In business, we often (sometimes even every hour –or minute– or two) find ourselves in a position of needing to deliver something under duress . . . a product, service, idea, proposal, message, estimate, document, presentation, bank balance, operational failure, employee or customer or supplier problem. And delivery is always in Eastern, Central, Rocky Mountain or La-La Land Crunch Time.

Anxiety, says Webster, is the painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind over an impending or anticipated ill, or concern or interest . . . abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by psychological signs (such as sweating, tension, and increased pulse) . . . and by self doubt. Not the stuff of entrepreneurs, you say?  Contraire mon fraire!

Sure entrepreneurs are self-confident and self-motivated and filled with burning desire, but they are also basket cases when it comes time for delivery of the goods — a business plan to investors, a loan app to the bank, a new operating system.

Why is that”?

Entrepreneurs are uniquely suited to have more at stake with every decision than any corporate or government manager.

Period.

Not very unlike the mindsets of our military heroes, entrepreneurs put their very (life, home, and family) existences on the line with virtually every decision every day.

Although no one in our present top level of American government has yet to acknowledge this truth or taken steps to capitalize on it: entrepreneurs are, when all is said and done, the movers and shakers of society.

Entrepreneurs are the catalysts of job market creation and employment opportunities — they are the only viable resource to tap for reversing and strengthening America’s economy. That’s a lot of angst to carry around.

Okay, so the conquering part:

•  Take some deep breaths.

• Recognize that anxiousness is a behavior and that behaviors are choices so why choose agita when you can just as easily make up your mind to instead choose calm self-control?

• Focus on the here-and-now present moment as much as possible because everything else (since it’s not here, now) is pure fantasy!

• Learn as much as you possibly can about your SELF and the things that make you come together as a person, as a leader, as an innovator.

• Surround yourself with positive people, positive events, positive pursuits, and a positive environment as often as possible.

• Don’t be afraid to seek out professional reality or Gestalt therapy or group guidance if you feel yourself drifting too far into the past or future too often. It doesn’t mean you’re losing it; it means you’re smart enough to recognize your shortcomings and to do something about them. It puts you in the top percent of enlightened human beings on this planet (which you clearly are if you’re reading this! Thanks for being here. Come again.).

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Hal@BusinessWorks.US

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]

Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

“I’m too busy for you!”

(Translated: “I’ll never be a leader because

I don’t really care about anybody else!”)

Is “I’m too busy for you!” the verbal or nonverbal message you might be putting out to others?

I just read a promotional endorsement written by someone I know who, years ago, I used to respect. He starts out his explanation of why the particular newsletter he raves about is one of a very few that he actually makes time to read. He opens his statement by saying:

“I’m busy — painfully busy, so

I’m stingy with my time…”

Pull-eease! Who cares? The source, though, may want to know that comments like this scream of the kind of personal frustration known to have led many to depression and isolation.

It would be viewed by not a few psychology professionals as the monolithic signature of an individual who has deep fears of experiencing any forms of intimacy with others.

“Intimacy,”defined by ground-breaking Gestalt Psychology authors James and Jongeward, “is free of games and free of exploitation. It occurs in those rare moments of human contact that arouse feelings of tenderness, empathy…genuine caring…and affection.” 

Businesspeople are not immune to these kinds of connections and cannot hide behind “business” as if it were a protective shield. But many don’t know that they’re doing it. It may be going on for so long, that it feels natural to be a “workaholic.”

Some may say, why interrupt my career mission to get close enough to someone who will want me to pat their hand when they have a crisis? Dealing with other people’s crises slows me down and forces me to sidetrack.

Much has been written in the literature of Gestalt and Reality Therapy about those who play the “Harried Executive” game in life and business.

These are people who define themselves as “overwhelmed” and “overloaded” and “swamped” and “up to my ears…”

They make themselves too busy to have to spend any genuine quality time relating to others.

This is not a healthy mindset, but it is often masked by offering token attentions and participating in general socializing. It frequently requires professional counseling and coaching to move this type of behavior beyond the personal relationship barricade the person has set up for her or himself.

That you might be conveying to others that you are too busy for them, means you are close to the edge of the abyss that forecloses on many of life’s most valuable opportunities.

“I’m too busy” type statements can also be taken by many to mean:

“You’re worthless to me;

  get out of my way!” 

(Can there be any more insulting an attitude to communicate?)

Can you, or anyone who works with you, actually afford to practice being too busy, never mind flaunting it as in the above example?

Time is our most precious and cherished commodity. Of course we need air and water and food and clothing and shelter, but time is what drives those needs.

One of your grandparents no doubt once told you that “Time and tide wait for no man” (a statement that predates modern English and whose authorship is ascribed to St. Marher in 1225) and that “No man is an island” (attributed to the Englishman who was proclaimed the greatest of all metaphysical poets, John Donne, 1572-1631). 

Surely you’ve heard those statements somewhere? Maybe they are worthy of re-considering from time to time.

What kinds of nonverbal “I’m too busy” messages could you be sending out? Arms and/or legs crossed defensively in meetings? Parentally looking over the tops of your glasses at other’s suggestions that seem too time-consuming?

You keep checking your watch, the clock on the wall? You keep checking for text messages? You keep reading emails while someone is speaking with you? Do you walk ahead of others you’re speaking with, or shoulder to shoulder?

Do you pick up the phone and dial when someone approaches you? Do you put off invitations to family gatherings and neighborhood events, or show up to smile and handshake a few people and then slide out the side door when others seem preoccupied?                                                                    

You may want to listen to yourself more…and, hey, check out that great smile of yours in the mirror once in awhile!

 302.933.0116 or Hal@BusinessWorks.US  

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson] 

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

Is Your Business

A Headcase?

The word therapy may sound ominous to the business mind. It evokes the specter of illness, or worse, of craziness. That should not be. Therapy is part of education. Therapy teaches us through personal experience about who we are and how we became that way. Therapy teaches us how personal responsibility plays a role in who we are. Therapy teaches us how we relate to others and how important other people are in the conduct of our lives. And therapy helps us claim our freedom and take charge of our lives. These are all elements of growing up and getting a complete education.”

     If this seems like a strange and out-of-place subject for you, let me assure you that it is extremely relevant. Why? Because every business –like every human– has problems to solve that have been created and nurtured internally. And, more often than not, a great many of these are denied and consciously or inadvertently glossed over by the boss.

     If you were to distill down all my years of diverse career experiences into one defining function, it would be that I have been a reality therapist to businesses. Powerful corporate executives, entrepreneurs, sales and healthcare professionals alike have called me in the middle of the night, reduced to tears. They have called on the verge of lighting fuses to blow up their businesses.

     I’ve seen business temper tantrums where filled file folders, office equipment, and even scalpels were flung in rage across offices and into doors. Because businesses that needed therapy, that were being run by owners and managers who refuted the need for it, had no place else to bury upsets but inside the troubled stressed-out minds of their leaders.

     Every person and every business, I believe, can benefit by some degree of professional therapy engagement at some point, perhaps continuously, in their lives. Therapy need not be as threatening or embarrassing as Hollywood would have us believe, nor as intimidating as the naysayers around us claim.

     The truth is therapy can be extremely enlightening, masterfully empowering, and a magnet for improved mental, physical, and emotional good health — the secret keys to increased sales!                  

     It may be useful to pause here and be reminded that the feelings of being threatened, embarrassed, and intimidated –like those feelings of enlightenment, empowerment, and improved health — are all behaviors and all behaviors are choices. Why choose negative over positive? Because of some fear? If the fear is not genuine, realistic, and physical, it is imagined; it is fantasy; it is also a choice!

     Many businesses fail because the leaders operate under a self-fulfilling prophecy that a business is beyond repair and nothing can be done to save it. The economy. The bank. The landlord. Lousy sales. Lazy employees. Products or services without real benefits or competitive advantages. No future. Poor track-record. They fail.

     The fix? Hire an informed, experienced, fresh, outside perspective to shrink out your business and coach your leaders.

     Savvy business owners and managers recognize that the business needs to be considered a living, breathing organism, and treated as if it were a separate individual entity apart from the paperwork, computer files, and physical workspace.

     In this context, business therapy can be a healthy and productive intervention capable of turning problems into opportunities. The distance from survive to thrive is measured in receptive leadership that’s willing to explore and innovate.

Hal@BUSINESSWORKS.US 

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You!

Make today a GREAT day for someone!