Entrepreneurial Leadership?

… Practice “The 5 Freedoms”

World renown family therapist and author Virginia Satir spoke with me once after a workshop she ran at the University of California. She told me that small business growth and strength, and family growth and strength could both be most readily achieved with the acceptance and conscientious practice of what she aptly called “The 5 Freedoms.”

I share these with you here, now, not as some plaque to hang on your wall, or slogan to bang into your head, but as a road to travel. You may want to slow your brain down and digest each, then ask yourself how your family, small business or professional practice might grow stronger, quicker, by following your commitment to pursue this avenue.

The 5 Freedoms

by Virginia Satir

To see and hear

what is here,

instead of what should be,

 was, or will be.

To say what one

feels and thinks,

instead of what one should.

To feel

what one feels,

instead of what one ought.

To ask

for what one wants,

instead of always waiting

for permission.

To take risks

in one’s own behalf,

instead of choosing to be

only “secure” and

not rocking the boat.

How and when and where can you use this road to help guide your business and family development interests? Please be sure to let me know if this message works for you, if it helps you think big, and to share it (together with your own thoughts if you choose) by clicking on your choice of social media buttons shown below.

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Hal@Businessworks.US     931.854.0474

I learned the hard way. 

Burning bridges might 

 work for “isolationists,”

but . . .

But even if you’re the owner of the most microscopically small home business being run out of an empty closet, you cannot afford to be caught with a “smoking match.”

When you cut off communications with people or organizations –whether intentionally or inadvertently makes no difference–  you cut off future options and opportunities that you may never imagine being possible right now. And when you least expect it, it will surely come back to bite you in the butt. 

It should go without saying that this bridge-burning dynamic applies equally to all of us as individuals as well.

How did I learn the hard way?

At many levels, I had to fight my way through childhood poverty and abuse, through high school insensitivities, college insecurities, impersonal graduate school, and the disillusioning beginning-a-career years. I beat my way through the bushes and put on a happy face, but I used my struggling existence as an excuse for aloofness.

Former (far wealthier) classmates disbursed to all corners of the globe with pocketsful of parent’s money? What did I care? I’d never see them again anyway. They served me no immediate survival purpose. Screw ’em. I was preoccupied with affording clothes, a car, and often, a next meal. How could I relate to summers in Europe?

I chose to feel bitter. For awhile I held grudges. But those feelings never lasted because they left no room for me to earn my keep and work my way up the corporate ladders that I saw as my only escape route. It was something like a forced retreat from upset feelings because upsets didn’t pay bills. I had no room left for anger.

The end result was the same.

Burned bridges.

I never intended to sever relations with those in my various graduating classes, and in steppingstone jobs.

It just happened.

Yet the consequences of often having no place to turn when a turn was necessary were no less difficult to bear than had I actually set the connecting spans on fire.

Ill feelings can obviously (now, in retrospect) trigger a conscious or unconscious desire to disconnect from the circumstances or people responsible for igniting various upsets, but what I’ve learned the hard way (after losing many close contacts over time) is that effort invested in long-term relationships can often produce great returns.  

It’s water over the proverbial dam at this point, and my life has been graced so many times over with strong business and personal relationships (that I finally did learn how to hold on to and nurture and enjoy), that I can only be grateful for them and for what they have made possible. Yet, there’s still this twinge of regret.

Perhaps you or someone you know will be prompted to think twice before cutting ties or burning bridges after hearing this (true) short story from someone (me) who almost learned too late the deep values of long-term relationships — in life and in work. When did you last give someone the benefit of doubt? Forgiveness works!

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  Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

  Open Minds Open Doors 

   Thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

  Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

So, right about now,

you’re swimming in

tears, beer, or red wine,

 and trying to leave last 

 week in a cloud of dust?

Does it sometimes feel like you can’t even find the tunnel, never mind the light at the end of it? The promise of yesterday is simply not happening tomorrow? The positive, hopeful feelings you had for your business last Monday simply dissolved away on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday? And here you are: in a weakened weekend. 

Take heart, dear business owner, manager, entrepreneur. It’s really not the end of the world. It’s actually the beginning of a new awareness and a new opportunity that didn’t exist all week last week. The special occasion I refer to is your great awakening! Look in the mirror. Take a deep breath. Snap your fingers. and–viola!–be a new you!

Yes, it IS that simple. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. That’s a choice. Stop feeling defeated. That’s a choice. Stop beating yourself up. That’s a choice. Stop making excuses. That’s a choice. Don’t give up on yourself, or your people, or your business. That’s a choice. Choose instead to do what you know you’re capable of. That’s a choice.

When work overwhelms you, get rid of the “over” and zero in on what’s real and what’s right smack in front of your face as opposed to what you’ve been imagining. You’re reading this so you’re probably not in jail and you probably haven’t boarded up the windows yet. You’ve just a few bloody knuckles and are perhaps feeling nauseous.

What is the basic premise, idea, belief, conviction, desire with which you started your business? Is it still there? Does it still dominate your brain? Have you a mission and vision statement worked out that serve as the underpinning of your every daily performance, or have you lost sight of those ideals as economic stress set in?

RSVP your regrets to the media circus debt ceiling party and take a stroll through your own wallet. It’s renewal time!

It’s time to step back BEFORE you step up. Look around and take inventory and sort out priorities and renew your commitment to yourself and your family and your employees and customers. It makes no sense to get up to bat if you don’t know the inning, the score, the pitcher, your capabilities, and if you even have the right bat to swing. 

How do you know when it’s renewal time? When the week behind you feels like a failure. When you’ve struck out with the bases loaded, you need to not bang your head on the dugout bench. You need to look in the mirror. Take a deep breath. Snap your fingers. and–viola!–be a new you! Because you CAN and you need only to C H O O S E  it. 

DON’T choose for others to drag you down or under. Only you control your brain, and only you have the power to rise up above the rubble and make this next week a record-breaker that will lead you into the sunrise. Just a bunch of fantasy talk? No. Actually, it’s a bunch of reality. The question is how ready are you to put reality to work? Now? 

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Hal@Businessworks.US 302.933.0116 

 Open minds open doors

 Thanks for visiting.   God bless you. 

  Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Bitten Off More Than

You Could Chew, Eh?

We all do it now and then, but some make a steady diet of taking on too many projects. The end result is never pleasant or rewarding, yet most of us fail to learn the first or second or third or . . . time around.

We tend to either be in situations where we have overwhelmed ourselves or chosen for others to overwhelm us, or somehow put ourselves into overwhelming situations.

Some might argue that they have fallen victim to overwhelming situations.

But you know what?

If we trace the root cause of any over-whelming situation, it will inevitably come back to a conscious or unconscious choice we’ve made somewhere down the road.

So what? Well, we can’t always avoid making bad choices or choices with bad outcomes –and sometimes we might even intentionally elect to put ourselves in the middle of bad choice/bad outcome circumstances– but when we can accept choices as the driving force, we increase the odds of survival and success.

How is that possible?

When we acknowledge and own up to our behavioral choices, we stop making excuses.

We stop sulking.

We stop blaming others, We stop kicking ourselves (because that, of course, is also a choice!).

We stop having tantrums. 

And these actions and awareness’s lead us closer to resolution.

Accepting responsibility for our actions, and for leading ourselves into high pressure situations helps us get on with life quicker than we are able to by wallowing in misery.

I once accepted an offer to write a commissioned memoir about a very prominent, admirable, and likable elderly person in failing health who had led what I thought was a fascinating life. The challenge was hearty. The compensation was fair. The 3-month project turned into 14 months and the degree of engagement multiplied exponentially with each new life path discovery.

For me, research time exceeded writing time by many moons. The project commandeered time away from management and marketing consulting clients, community programs I was developing, and family engagements and contact with friends. Stress arrived at my doorstep dressed in many costumes. But I did it to myself.

 Realizing that I had set myself up for the time crunch didn’t untangle the commitments, but it helped me deal with them more realistically, and all the while (I think!) keep my sanity . 

A friend of mine has a growing family with young children and aging parents. He owns and operates four different, rapidly growing businesses — each with over a hundred employees, sits on three charitable boards of trustees, travels extensively and regularly participates in a variety of favorite outdoor activities. He admits he’s bitten off more than he can chew.

But instead of blaming others or banging his head against a wall, he has engaged his family’s help in consolidating the businesses and finding replacements for the trustee seats he holds from among his employee ranks. He now brings parents and children and spouse along individually and as available on his business trips. They now join him with his outdoor pursuits  . . . and he joins them with theirs! 

The transition is taking time, but PACMAN has stopped eating away at his life. He has turned the corner and found renewed energy. 

You can too! It truly is a matter of choice.

Need a little fresh “Overwhelm-Deactivation” guidance?

Call or email me.     

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302.933.0116     Hal@BusinessWorks.US

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!”   [Thomas Jefferson]

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!