Sep 26 2011

Your Balancing Act

Operating

                        

a small business in 

                                         

times of personal trouble…

                                                              

 

The most frequent consulting calls I get are from business owners who are experiencing personal emotional trauma, and who are trying to either ignore or bull their way through the upsets without acknowledging them.

Many talk and act as if they’re sizing up my marketing experience, but what they really want to know is if I can help them personally.

They throw little test questions out: “Uh, have you ever worked with partners who don’t always get along?” or “Have you had to deal with older family members who started a business, then turned it over to younger relatives?” or “How would you increase sales in a business where the boss’s wife had alcohol or drug problems?”

Some, of course, cut right to the chase: “I just got out of rehab and still have panic attacks, but nobody else can run the business; what can you do to help?” or “My partner is the money behind this business, and he’s an idiot and we’re on the verge of breaking up; can you help pick up our sales while we divorce?”

I have a little reminder note pasted on my workstation:  Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” You may have to become as old as I am to really appreciate the truth of this, but if you ARE less than 150, I can assure you that truer words were never spoken.

And there’s no discrimination that disallows business owners. We all carry our own burdens through life. How we strike a balance with the businesses we run makes the difference between success and failure. Dealing effectively with the whole mess, time after time, depends on how effectively we balance our own emotions.

Dismissing, or disregarding the reality of what we face accomplishes nothing, and often makes things worse. Jumping headlong into upsets is a get-screwed-up-quick formula that can wreak havoc on both the business and your personal life. Balance means holding the ship steady through stormy weather regardless of preferences.

In other words, this isn’t football,

and acting headstrong can get

 us sacked on the one-yard line 

                                                    

We need to be able to put aside our emotional attachments; we need to be able to let go of some of the ties that bind. We need to accept that we don’t always have all the answers and be willing to go with the flow when problems overwhelm us. Can it be God or an inner spirit challenging us to rise to the occasion? Is it a test of your mettle?

“If you can get through this, you can get through anything,” my wise old uncle used to say, but he never mentioned that there would be a least hundreds of “this” times.

Life is about challenge. So is entrepreneurship. Just make sure you keep your personal life in balance with your family and those around you. If you stand tall in troubled waters, the business will heal itself. Where to start? Try some deep breathing for openers, and then begin to sort out and prioritize before you take action.   

 

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Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

Open Minds Open Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

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Aug 06 2011

Lessons From 1000 Blog Posts . . .

Welcome, and thank you

                         

for joining me on this

                         

personal milestone of

                    

  1,000 posts at this site.

 

                                                           

Before I take you on my quick-read path of lessons learned, which I unabashedly believe includes something of value for everyone, let me offer up my heartfelt appreciation for the first 400 visits I had in April of 2008 when I started, and the millions of visitors who followed over the last 3+ years.

~~~~~~~~~~

Please continue your visits, comments, and free RSS Feed subscriptions.

And please note that this blog will now publish new

posts 5 days a week, every Sunday through Thursday.

But the Search Window is always open, and content is always relevant.

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Thank you

for your confidence,

trust and loyal support.

                                                               

Special thanks to Kathy — the wind beneath my wings for 25 years, and to the wonderful dogs we’ve been blessed with, who surrounded my feet as I posted each night — our Black Cocker (Tuckerton“) who left us last year at 6 years old and our Golden Retriever (“Barnegat) who lived six months longer than him; she was 13 . . . and our new one-year-old-this-week Cavachon (“Breezy).

For the endless stream of writing encouragement and feedback (regardless of agreement or disagreement with my representations, and there’s been plenty of both!), please indulge me long enough to use this space for special thanks to my: son, Christopher; daughter Haley; oldest granddaughter, Talley; brother-in-law Tim; mother-in-law, Marian; brother, Rick. And: my Aunt Dorothy and sister-in-law Claire; Melanie Adair, Angela Current, Doyle Slayton, Jonena Realth, Dr. Ian Fries, George Kanuck, Kevin Bousquet, Meredith Bell, Jeff Banning, Danielle-Dixon-Moyle, Peter Leeds, Jim Haines, Dr. Jeffrey Alpern, Michael Infusino, Ken and Sara Kraft, Bruce Burchell, Andrew Jackson; Jim Oliviero, Ken Poppele, Andy Larrimore, Laura Pritchett, Jeff Shactman, Barrie Proctor, Brian Smith, Dennis Forney, my friends, neighbors, Twitter and LinkedIn followers, former students, past and present clients, three special friends lost this past year: Butch Taras, Paul Harp and Ernst Dannemann, and my 150 softball league buddies in Delaware and New Jersey, and their families.

Thank you also to the young men and women of America’s military service whose devotion and courage make the freedom possible that allows me to choose to write, and to be able to write freely.

. . . and thank you, God!

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Here is some of what I learned that you may find helpful to be reminded of . . . to think about . . . to try, apply, expand, adjust, enjoy, and to just pick up and run with:

1)  Never assume that no one (or that no one who matters) is “out there.”

When you write and post something on the Internet, someone, somewhere, is always reading what you write . . . every thing you write! So make it count.

2)  Be gracious with your insults.

Criticize the behavior –words and actions– not the person! When you feel you must take someone’s behavior to task, take it to task, but try to “sleep on” what you write before you click Publish.

3)  Take lots of deep breaths. 

More frequent deep breathing will channel stress productively, to stay in control, to be focused on the “here-and-now” present as much as possible, to ensure that you respond instead of react. Remember, if you don’t react, you can never over-react!

4)  Be kinder than necessary

 EVERYone you meet and re-meet every day is fighting some kind of battle.

5)  “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.”

(Thank you Mark Twain) 

6)  “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter–’tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.”  

(Thank you again Mark Twain)

7)  “Time waits for no one. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”

 (Thank you B. Olatunji)

8)  Ask yourself the following 4 questions:

 Why?  Why Not?  Why Not Me?  Why Not Now? A few times a day is not a bad idea.

9)  Accept the fact that the news media no longer “reports” anything.

Literally every story breaks down into some stress-filled level of disguised political opinion. If you think that’s exaggeration, try testing your willpower to not watch or listen to or read any news or news-related presentations of any kind for just one week, then see and feel the results. You will be happier, healthier, less-stressed, more productive, and making a bigger difference in the world, especially if you combine this effort with #3 above. (3 weeks of it, by the way, will literally transform your life!)

10)  “To Thine Own Self Be True!”  

                                         (Authenticity + Passion = Success)

(Thank you, Shakespeare)

   11)  “There is a time for everything under heaven.”

(Thank you, God)

   12)  “Open Minds Open Doors.”

(Thank you United Technologies)

   13)  “The journey to discovery consists not in having new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

(Thank you Proust)

    14)  “The only thing that’s permanent is change.”

(Thank you Greek philosopher Hericlitus, 2500 years ago)

    15)  Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”

(Thank you Alfred Souza)

    16)  Great blog posts only happen because of great blog followers.

 

If you like what I write, thank your self because I write it only for you, and only with your input. I am grateful for your every visit.

Have a wonderful week ahead, filled with everything you want.

Best regards – Hal

                                                                                             

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Hal@Businessworks.US 302.933.0116 

 Open minds open doors

 Thanks for visiting.     God bless you. 

  Make today a GREAT day for someone

2 responses so far

Dec 09 2010

IT TAKES ALL KINDS . . .

Hey!

                        

Did j’hear the one about…? 

                                                                                                                                                                   

 

You know how in between all the business emails, you get all kinds of email junk FWD’d to you every day from well-intentioned friends?  It’s like spam that’s endorsed (vs. unsolicited, which is much easier to delete). 

There are the emails and attachments from ”the guys” who have somehow convinced themselves that you are the perfect compatriot to share piles of what they think are yuck-it-up jokes. You know, the ones that come out of the same distasteful sexist denial closets as: _______ and _____________ and ________ and (fill in your own long list of politicians and star athletes here).

Then there are the “other guys”  (sometimes the same ones) who love to bombard you with x-rated porn talk and photos and videos because they get off on it and can’t imagine anyone not being pleased for the viewings.

                                                                                 

Oh, yeah, and less offensive but equally weird, there are the schmaltzes who send every dripping piece of Hallmark-style drivel that gives you the creepy-crawlys just to scroll through them. And pull-ease, don’t dare to not FWD what you agree with or risk being cursed for life.

Well —-it takes all kinds, my Mother used to say (an Irish philosopher, of course!)

Now I’m hardly a prude, and I enjoy a good email joke as much as anybody.  I especially love getting emails filled with spectacular photos of spectacular places (The Noth Pole, outer space, the African “Trench,” Armenia, the inside of a rattlesnake’s fang or a hummingbird’s hummer) . . . stuff I know I’ll probably never see otherwise . . . I guess I’m kind of a National Geographic junkie when it comes to those “Aha!” attachments.

But, you know what? 

The FWD’d emails I like best

are those that make me think.

                                                                          

The best of these that I’ve seen recently (anonymous origins of course) has provoked me to wrap tonight’s post around it because I think it’s something worth sharing, especially on the advent of our joyous and peace-filled Christmas and New Year’s holiday season. Here (with a two-sentence disclaimer) are four great thoughts for the holidays:

Disclaimer: Personally, I try to never use the word “can’t” or “cannot” because I truly believe that everything and anything CAN be done, but this “cannot” list (which follows) stopped me in my tracks.  It made me think.

                                                    

Tell me what YOU think . . . 

(Comment below or call or “Tweet” me or shoot an email with “4 Things” in the subject line)

FOUR THINGS

YOU CANNOT RECOVER . . .     

1.  The stone, after it’s thrown.

2.  The word, after it’s said.

3.  The occasion, after the loss.

4.  The time, after it’s gone. 

                                                                                   

Put your own spin on this, think about what it means to YOU.  Make the conclusion you come to about it work FOR you, not by regretting, but by being kinder than necessary, kinder than you usually are, kinder perhaps than you want to be.  Go ahead, try it for the holidays! What have you got to lose?  A little kindness?  Hmmmmm.

# # #

 

www.TheWriterWorks.com  

302.933.0116 or Hal@BusinessWorks.US  

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson] 

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

2 responses so far

Dec 16 2008

IT TAKES ALL KINDS, my Mother used to say.

Hey, ja’hear the one about . . .? 

                                                                                

     You know how you get all kinds of email junk FWD’d to you every day from well-intentioned friends?  It’s like spam that’s endorsed (vs. unsolicited, which is much easier to delete). 

     There are the emails and attachments from “the guys” who have somehow convinced themselves that you are the perfect compatriot to share piles of what they think are yuck-it-up jokes (that come out of the same distasteful sexist denial closets as Elliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton).

     Then there are the “other guys” (sometimes the same ones) who love to bombard you with x-rated porn talk and photos and videos because they get off on it and can’t imagine anyone not being pleased for the viewings.

     Oh, yeah, and less offensive but equally weird, there are the schmaltzes who send every dripping piece of Hallmark-style drivel that give you the creepy-crawlys just to scroll through them. 

     Oh well, it takes all kinds, my Mother used to say (an Irish philosopher, of course!)

     Now I’m hardly a prude, and I enjoy a good email joke as much as anybody.  I especially love getting emails filled with spectacular photos of spectacular places I know I’ll probably never see otherwise … kind of a National Geographic fetish.

     But, you know what, the FWD’d emails I like best are those that make me think.

     The best of these that I’ve seen recently (anonymous of course) has provoked me to wrap tonight’s post around it because I think it’s something worth sharing, especially on the advent of our joyous and peace-filled holiday season.

     Personally, I try to never use the word “can’t” or “cannot” because I believe everything and anything CAN be done, but this list of 4 stopped me in my tracks.  It made me think.

     Tell me what YOU think (Click on “No responses yet” or “Comments” below then type in the window, or email with “4 Things” in the subject line to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com . . .

FOUR THINGS

YOU CANNOT RECOVER . . .     

1.  The stone, after it’s thrown.

2.  The word, after it’s said.

3.  The occasion, after the loss.

4.  The time, after it’s gone. 

 

Put your own spin on this, think about what it means to YOU.  Make the conclusion you come to about it work FOR you, not by regretting, but by being kinder than necessary, kinder than you usually are, kinder perhaps than you want to be.  Go ahead, try it for the holidays! What have you got to lose?  A little kindness?  Hmmmmm.          halalpiar

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See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.  # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 98 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

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