Sep 19 2010
BUSINESS DIPLOMACY
Loose Lips DO Sink Ships . . .
When to keep your
mouth shut, and how.
You’re a self-confident entrepreneur, maybe even cocky. The likelihood is that you have a high sense of self-esteem and a big fat ego that sometimes gets in the way of your success — an ego that you find yourself tripping over every once in awhile.
Your $50-necktie-and-$100-white-shirt corporate brother-in-law thinks you’re a smart-ass know-it-all. The guy you’ve been busting a gut trying to get business from can’t get past the fact that you’ve been everywhere, done everything, and have the same amount (or more) experience that he has. People who work for you start to yawn when you begin ticking off your accomplishments.
“A time for everything under heaven”
is true for sure.
But believing it and acting it
may be two separate issues.
How hard is it to keep your mouth shut when a customer, prospect, employee, or supplier starts offering an opinion on something you see differently, based on your firsthand knowledge?
Do you shut down your listening skills because you’re in a hurry to impress the other person that you already know the details, the scoop, the inside story, the whatever?
If any of this sounds even vaguely familiar, you may be setting yourself up for failure. Consider that no one likes to be upstaged. No one likes not being heard or paid attention to.
Try asking questions instead of offering opinions. Remember that true entrepreneurs who start and run successful ventures seek always to find others smarter than they are to run and manage their operations
Surely you’ve heard some grandparent
warn a child to “hold your tongue!”
It’s actually very good and often productive advice. Try putting the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth (it’s very hard to speak coherently that way) when someone else starts in on a subject about which you consider yourself well-informed.
It will force you to pay attention and wait. It will force you to take the time to present your ideas in a less offensive, more productive manner.
If someone else is trying to impress you, it almost always means that that person is already impressed with you.
If the exchangeis a potentially good one for either and/or both of you, tolerance may get you more respect than rebuttals or one-upmanship. Respect generates trust and cooperation and sales. Information presented in a way that others might interpret as bragging does not.
Leadership is about balance.
Balanced communications is the magic combination that opens the lock. Listening, active listening — eye contact, nodding, expressing agreement and understanding, asking for examples and diagrams, questioning instead of telling and offering opinions, paraphrasing, taking notes, showing genuine interest and concern — are leadership behaviors that create balance.
Anytime you’re tempted to pounce on a discussion topic with with a tsunami of personal experience, supportive data, resource recommendations, evidence you consider conclusive to support your position . . . STOP! Ask yourself if you are more interested in impressing someone with how much you know or are capable of, than you are with growing or boosting your business.
When you can respond instead of react,
you can never over-react!
302.933.0116 or Hal@BusinessWorks.US