Search Results for "postal service"

Mar 24 2010

The Quandary of 30 Million Small Businesses

At this moment

                                      

in history… 

                                    

when small business

                                   

can least afford it…

                               

[4-STEP  SOLUTION AT END] 

                                                               

     GOVERNMENT is muscling entrepreneurs into incipient bankruptcy with this healthcare plan that — contrary to what the spin has been — does absolutely NOT pass along tax credit to all. In fact, 88% (maybe more) of America’s 29,000,000+ small businesses will get ZERO healthcare plan-related tax credit! So, do the math: “Maybe 12%” will get some tax credit.

     29 MILLION? Yes, that includes the 23 million self-employed. They are indeed small businesses by any rational person’s definition, and certainly by any textbook definition, and most assuredly by any measure of reality.

     The healthcare plan forces downward pressure on wages, when we’re at a point in time, facing the prospects of total economic demise, that the exact opposite is what should be happening. Downward pressure on wages inhibits business growth and strangleholds small businesses’ abilities to create jobs.

     SMALL BUSINESS will end up bearing the burden of increased insurance premium costs. Insurance companies will now pass on to small businesses the increased costs of government payments they must make. Insurance companies are not stupid. They will simply turn around and stick it to small business . . . camouflaged perhaps, but it will not not happen!

     Heaven knows we need to create jobs. And heaven also knows job creation will never come from corporate giants or from incompetent, close-minded market government agencies like the US Postal Service. 

     Yet, small business is the last and really only hope for job creation. Job creation is the only meaningful and realistic economic stimulus solution in America’s economy. Yet we are being trapped in a vicious circle of reckless spending partisan-politics that has no clue about the value of free market price competition and tax incentives with teeth!

     Instead, our no-business-experience leadership looks forlornly to the corporate and government executives who run the US Small Business Administration for the kinds of help they are simply not capable of providing.

     Most small business owners and entrepreneurs know how to solve problems quickly and know how to stimulate cash-flow and open new revenue streams, how to build a competitive environment and make it be productive. Give them a chance!

                                                     

THE SOLUTION…

                                                                     

>>> We need regional roll-up-the-sleeves task forces of experienced, successful small business owners and entrepreneurs in place and functioning via virtual meeting site conferences within two weeks.

>>> We need individuals with proven track-records who are willing to step up to the plate and work together for the common good without burden of paperwork overload or complex multi-level reporting systems.

>>> We need task teams to be given full authority AND responsibility to take immediate steps to develop and implement business turn-around programs geared to creating jobs.

>>> We need government acceptance of the fact that the time has come to make the most of America’s great wealth of small business resources by respecting and working with them, instead of pounding them into the ground.   

Comment below or Hal@BusinessWorks.US Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Day! Blog via RSS feed or $1/mo Kindle. GRANDPARENT Gift? http://bit.ly/3nDlGF

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Jan 09 2010

Websites are NOT 24/7 TV Commercials!

Bosom-Bumping,

                                    

Chest-Thumping Websites

                                                           

     Is your businessthe greatest thing since sliced bread and bottled beer? Do you consistently remind your customers and prospects that you and your business are the best there is and that your competitors should just fold up their tents, throw in the towel, take their footballs and go home to sit on the couch and eat bon-bons while they watch global warming creep in?

     Nah, you might say. Whaddayathink, I’m some kinda whack job? you might ask. I play it low-key with customers and competitors, you offer timidly, because, says you, your website does all that rowdy outta-control stuff!

     Well, if your website is bumping bosoms and thumping chests, it is BIG-time out of step with reality. Websites are NOT 24/7 TV commercials!

     Websites are your only round-the-clock opportunities to be engaging and deliver consistent sales messages, to stimulate 2-way interactive exchanges of information without prejudices or emotions getting in the way, without shooting yourself in the foot.

     Done right, your website gives you a dimension of control that’s not possible in personal selling. No, it comes nowhere near replacing personal selling, but it absolutely does enhance and accentuate the sales function in every industry on Earth if it has the right ingredients, especially (says all the research) great copy/text/writing/words.

     And if it does have the right ingredients, you need only to attract attention to it and generate visitor traffic (a task generally best left to Internet marketing specialists).

Here’s what your website should do: Educate, entertain, create interest, stimulate desire, bring about action, generate sales inquiries and leads, and promote increased awareness of how great you are not by saying it, but by demonstrating the benefits your products and services provide … not the features, the benefits!

     Does it matter that you’re a nonprofit organization or government agency? Of course not. It doesn’t make any difference if you’re the fading-off-into-the-sunset US Postal Service, the local community college, a church or service dogs organization. People buy benefits.

     Use your website to sell benefits. Do it serious or do it with humor, but do it by helping the customer solve a problem or address a need, not by bumping bosoms or thumping chests or telling everyone how great you are.

     Because when it comes to sales, except for maybe your mother, nobody really cares how great you are. And, in the end, integrity speaks for itself.   

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Nov 04 2009

BANK Bu$ine$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Banking on your bank?

                                              

Don’t waste your time!

                                          

     The economy continues to hemorrhageOh no, that’s just not true, I heard that it’s not true on the news today:  The federal government says “we’re seeing many signs of things turning around.”

     I can’t imagine  what’s in some one’s line of sight that would prompt THAT statement. Also in today’s news, Microsoft just laid off another 800 employees. You connect the dots.

     The point is that when the going gets tough,  the average hard-working business leader thinks: The BANK. The BANK will bail us out. The BANK will lend us what we need. The BANK is the answer.

     One leading national bank  says they’ll even give loans to illegal aliens. Another says it will help customers who need help. Don’t you believe either one of them, or any of the other sleazy branding line enticements being offered out there in medialand. 

     You cannot depend on The BANK.  Period. Banks are tripping over themselves trying to outdo hospitals and the US Postal Service in the stupidity and low trust departments.

     Banks are at least 50 years behind reality  and –just like the hospitals and US Postal Service– think that slick, clever slogans, spiels, and marketing devices coming from empty suits and empty heads are going to make up the difference, the decades of incompetence.

     Credit unions offer a bit more comfort,  because they answer to their “members” not a board of directors and stockholders (but can also be a bit more risky for businesses because loan percentages, for example, can end up being higher than credit card rates if you’re not careful and alert).

     You think BANK  because the BANK has convinced you that it is your good neighbor, that because it’s been doing business in your town for a zillion generations, that it’s honorable and will loan you the money you need when you need it for a ridiculously low rate because they’re your neighbor.

     Good Luck!  A lot of businesses are failing because they naively trusted The BANK would support them in hard times. Reality Check: The BANK supports itself in hard times.

     What else is there?  Investors. Great, but guess what? Today’s investors want immediate gratification ROI and enough proof and collateral to guarantee it. Not much help if you don’t already have the money you need! 

     “Angel” investors  are getting tainted with skepticism, and are also requiring more than you probably have cause if you had it you wouldn’t be looking for it! Hmmmm. Barter. Right. Well, barter is great up to a point, but it rarely if ever produces money. Stockpiled merchandise and services have increasingly marginal value. 

     So, that leaves (ta-ta-ta-ta-tah-tah!):  SALES. Innovative, value-added products and services = SALES. SALES ALWAYS BEAT The BANK. How to boost sales now must be your number one (and perhaps only) priority. There is no greater or more important issue for you or your business to be dealing with right now, unless of course you own or run The BANK. 

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Input always welcome Hal@TheWriterWorks.com “Blog” in subject line or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Day! Hal

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Oct 05 2009

Barebones Economy=Barebones Business?

Is your business too frivolous

                                       

to survive this economy?

                          

Of course not!

ONE: Find the people you need as new and repeat customers or clients.

TWO: Show them how they’ll benefit from your product or service.

THREE: Push an emotional trigger.

That’s it!  Let’s put it this way: if you think your business is too frivolous for you to be able to make sales in this crummy economy, you’re right! Fold up the tent and go home!

If you believe that people  are only spending money on basics right now and that they haven’t enough spare dollars to afford your products and services because they’re hardly “essentials,” odds are that you are also letting that attitude show in the ways you conduct and promote your business.

I don’t care if you’re selling  designer soap, dictionaries, Swedish Massage, venture capital pool memberships, jeweled toiletpaper holders,or gold-plated shoelaces … now is not the time to be timid in your promotional messages … or be turning out all your store or office signage lights at night … or going into US Postal Service-style retreat mode.

Now is the time  to rise to the occasion, to innovate, to put in extra hours, to go the extra mile, to show people why they can’t live without your products and services. I know, I know, there’s no excuse like the present. That’s true. There’s also no loss like losing a business.

So toss your chin back there, Buckeroo!  Go get your glove and get in the game. Remember that YOU CHOOSE to give up or slow down or make excuses. It’s just as easy to choose to charge forward and speed up and own up to your shortcomings. Everyone has shortcomings.

“Yeah, sure, easy for you to say,”  you say, “but you don’t know how hard it is and what a struggle I’m having just to pay the rent and salaries!” Ah, but I do know. I also know that feeling like it’s hard and feeling like it’s a struggle are — guess what? — right! — choices!!

Choose to feel like it’s easy and choose to feel like you’re on cruise control.

It will be and you will be.

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Input always welcome Hal@TheWriterWorks.com “Blog” in subject line or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Day! Hal

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Aug 06 2009

US Post Office & Direct Mail Deathwatch

Not just tech triumphs, the

                                      

PO is a self-fulfilling sinking

 

You think it’s not coming?  You must be a fantasizer, or you work for the post office! Direct mail, thanks to the US Post Office (AKA US Postal Service) as we know it, is dying a slow, painful suffocating death.

How can that be?  Because direct mail–like commercials being the mainstay of broadcast media–is the mainstay of the US Post Office (AKA US Postal Service), and the US Post Office is on the way to gasping its last few breaths.

I noted here  a few days ago that the US Postal Service is reported to have processed 203 billion pieces of mail during 2008. (That’s 7.700 pieces per second!) Now does that sound like an entity that’s going out of business?

Well, consider that during the same time period,  CTIA reported over one TRILLION text messages were sent. And are you ready for this one? Radicali Group reports –for 2008– that 210 BILLION EMAILS were sent PER DAY. Do the math!

Now take a hard look  at US Postal Service management. It’s a sea of incompetency, which should actually not be any surprise considering the totality of federal government incompetency when it comes to anything involving business.

And no need  to look any further than the banks, automakers, lack of job creation due to 100% lack of small business savvy and support [except for  tokenism from the equally incompetent SBA (Small Business Administration) run, of course, by big business]… or the ridiculous “forced healthcare” proposals on the table. Maybe we should be forced to buy stamps!

Here.  Try a quick review of these two gem blog posts from this past March: the first was mine, criticizing the US Postal Service and the second was from a postmaster who politely tried to defend and then subscribed to the bulk of criticism. (I reproduced his reply in full.)

They speak for themselves  http://halalpiar.com/2009/03/23-lifelines-tossed-to-the-post-office/ and http://halalpiar.com/2009/03/hawaii-postmaster-responds-to-postal-service-critique/

It’s beginning to look  like it’s going to take more suffering before government gets a wake-up call that the only answer to our economic woes is going to come from small business job creation and the privatization of government agencies.

Unless agencies  like US Postal Services can be run like real businesses by being market competitive and operated for profit, they will cease to exist. The Post Office is on its way out. And like a sinking ship’s treasures, it’s taking the direct mail industry along with it.

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Input aways welcome:

Hal@BUSINESSWORKS.US or comment below.

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! 

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Jul 29 2009

Save Money AND Reach Your Audience

HOW DISTRACTED

                                        

IS YOUR AUDIENCE?

                                                                                                

Surprising 2009 statistics from a notable professional association:

  • Average work time since 1999 has increased 20%
  • 75% of managers work more than 40 hours per week and must manage 600% more information than 20 years ago
  • Professionals average at least 10 hours per week in meetings
  • Employees spend 18 hours a week dealing with interruptions
  • The US Postal Service processed 203 billion pieces of mail in 2008 (That’s 7,700 pieces each second!)

Sounds like a lot, right? Now contrast that with these two findings:

  1.  The Radicati Group found that the number of emails sent PER DAY in 2008 was near 210 billion
  2.  CTIA reports Americans sent more than 1 trillion text messages in 2008                                                                                                                                                       And research conducted by the ePolicy Institute found that employees spend as much as 20% of their workday reading and responding to email.

 THE BOTTOM LINE?  Today’s audience is starved for time and inundated with information. If you want your message to cut through the clutter, it must be relevant, timely and creative.

Reprinted from The Corporate Communicator, a free e-zine dedicated to helping professionals communicate more effectively with employees, customers and the media. To get the latest industry news, research and best practices at your fingertips, order a FREE subscription at http://www.thecorporatecommunicator.net
                                                                                   

     So what does this mean for the “average” small business owner? Odds are you’ll need to go “outside” yourself and your organization to find a proven and experienced talent capable of understanding your business and your market and your customers and your message.

     It’s generally best to avoid formal “Ad Agencies” or “Marketing Agencies” because they are more likely to pursue industry recognition awards than sales for your company. Be especially hesitant of those that call themselves “full service” unless you have Fortune 500-level budgets to dispose of. 

     Second, ad agencies and marketing agencies (NOTE that many of these now call themselves “Groups” to escape the high-price stigma) are likely to charge excessive fees.

     Their norm is to charge you 15% of all media costs (broadcast time and print publication space and Internet banner fees) they book for you (which of course you can “book” for yourself to bypass that “agency commission.”

     …PLUS 17.65% of all production costs (which include costs of illustrations, photography, printing, studio production, editing, graphic design, list rentals…you name it!)

     …PLUS other fees that are rarely evident until the moment something is needed to be finalized. Don’t you love financial surprises?

     This translates to : SHOP AROUND! There are plenty of good, qualified, experienced freelance writers and small one-man-band and one-woman-band businesses that can provide far better quality creative sales writing and design services for far less money than the big city slicker organizations!

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Input aways welcome: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in    subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar  

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Jun 28 2009

REAL entrepreneurs go the extra mile!

Do you have a Wimp Complex?

More businesses these days seem to be functioning like wussies!

                                                                  

     A (farmland) truck dealer is giving away a free tractor with every truck purchase. What a great idea, especially given an uncertain overloaded inventory of vehicles manufactured by what has become an uncertain source. But the dealer has stopped short of making the tractor deal a slam-bam promotion, and will no doubt write it off as a loss. (Lots of examples of how to make trucks fly off the lot with this idea : call me!)

     A small handmade product retailer says she’s closing (to become an Internet business and work from home) because the mortgage payments are too high, and there’s not enough store traffic. There was no mention made of the sparse high-priced inventory or the two large dogs that came bounding from behind the counter, jumping on (literally) six panicked customers in four minutes.

     The owner of a new Chinese restaurant (with better quality food and lower prices than any of the dozens of others within 20-30 minutes) reports he cannot attract enough business because two of his customers who run their own companies told him that business everywhere is suffering and that it might take him a couple of years to break even. (Y’think he’s heard about The Emperor’s New Clothes?)  

     The Post Office cuts services and raises prices. (Now there’s a great solution vs. maybe being more competitive with UPS and Fed Ex?)

     One state government is talking about financial crisis tactics that would close down the government one day a week along with their (greatest natural resource) parks operations which are the primary tourism industry attraction and income source… while approving a gazillion-dollar casino and racetrack complex (no doubt to cater to the gambling unemployed). 

     Financially-strapped ferry operations aren’t far behind. They’ve lowered foodservice quality and raised their vehicle and foot passenger rates through the roof, and can’t figure out why they’re continuing to lose money. (Must be products of the same graduate school that cranked out the Postal Service and government muckity-mucks!)

     This list could go on for thousands of pages, but the point of it all is that entrepreneurs–true entrepreneurs–have more gumption than these examples. They have more spunk. They rise to the occasion, and make things happen by sinking their teeth into the situations that are throwing knockout punches to people in the business examples noted.

     Entrepreneurs are the catalysts of change. They represent both the past and the future of this country. They don’t get discouraged over news from other business owners, or economy woes… and certainly not from government “leaders” who have no business sense or experience whatsoever. 

     Entrepreneurs take promotional ideas all the way through to completion and, in the face of hard times: work harder, stay open more hours, increase services and market competition, and lower prices as necessary.  When times are tough, it’s time to go the extra mile! 

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Input welcome anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar  # # # 

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May 07 2009

NATIONAL PRAYER DAY TODAY:”Integrity”

You’re partly pregnant? Uhuh… 

                                                 

     Two months ago, I took my car to an independent service center for a quick oil change, and was told I needed a new air filter. The mechanic showed me a thin layer of gray that had settled on a few of the white edges. I was quoted some ridiculous rate for the new filter and labor. I said I’d wait ’til next time and got back a couple of tsk-tsk’s and an undertaker’s smile. 

     A few weeks ago, I took my car to the dealership it came from to have the oil changed and asked them to check the air filter. It’s fine, I was told, a little dirty but nothing to worry about…but the tires! You need four new tires and soon! We can do it now if you can wait. Only six hundred and change. Er, I think I’ll wait. Well, don’t wait too long! Right.

     Today, I got a flat tire (first one in 20-something years, so now I know I’m doomed to have to pop for the six hundred and change). But God Bless Ernie. Ernie is my neighbor who is a walking Google of auto/truck/Harley mechanic info.

     Ernie inflates my tire with his portable compressor and says that for $10 the guy up the street will plug the nailhole that caused the flat, and that if I’m getting new tires, can he have mine for driving to California and back because they’ve still got another 20,000-30,000 miles on them!

     I get the tire plugged for $10 and the tire guy says these are nice tires you have; would you consider selling them? Now I’m laughing and buying the tire guy coffee.

     What’s the point? What does “PARTLY PREGNANT” have to do with plugging tires? (Nevermind. Bad metaphor!)

Here’s the bottom line:

CONSUMER “LOW TRUST”

IS AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH!

     Why? Because businesses like the service center and the dealership are ripping people off. Because these–and many other– businesses are basically greedy and have now become panic-stricken by economic impact. Because no one has ever told people like this that:

INTEGRITY IS NOT A FAIR WEATHER PRACTICE!

     Integrity is not something to be toyed with, turned on and off like a faucet, or underestimated. INTEGRITY IS DOING THE RIGHT THING ALL THE TIME REGARDLESS OF WHETHER SOMEONE ELSE IS WATCHING OR NOT! There’s no such thing as “partly pregnant” and there’s no “partial integrity” either!

When you exercise integrity, you must exercise it 100% of the time regardless of what the economy does or doesn’t do.

     The US Postal Service, airlines, ferry services, banks, and even hospitals are all adding insult to injury and they don’t even realize it (let’s at least hope they don’t). My message to all of them is that when the going gets tough financially: THE SOLUTION is NOT to raise your prices and lower your service.

     THAT is exactly the kind of thinking that has been leading us into economic spirals to begin with. THE SOLUTION is to make sales by exercising integrity…in-person, in writing, via Internet, and on the phone…consistently!    

TODAY IS NATIONAL PRAYER DAY!

PRAY FOR INTEGRITY!

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Send your input anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Good night and God bless you! halalpiar              # # # 

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Mar 11 2009

23 LIFELINES TOSSED TO THE POST OFFICE

Having grown up a mailman’s

                                                                       

son, maybe I’m just sentimental

                                                                                

(or simply as stupid as the PO?) 

                                                             

     On top of their idiotic, money-wasting, survey last December [Click on December Archives in right column and go to DEC 15 “NO MORE ROOM FOR “SNAIL MAIL – Gutless, Incompetent, Greedy, The US Postal Service” for the ugly details], the amazing U.S. Postal Service management team has been making some astonishingly whacko business decisions.

     Since revenues are off, they’ve cut back hours, increased postage prices, increased their elaborate sample mailing campaign to entice more small businesses to do more mailings with (you guessed it) stuff that’s prohibitively expensive to the typical small business to even think about mailing anyway.

     I’ve received two personalized t-shirts, a metal hinged and color-labeled box filled with expensive die-cut printing samples, and the list goes on. And now. Now they’re pulling the blue drop boxes off the sidewalks!

     How utterly brilliant! Hey, nobody’s using them, so take them away. How many things can you think of that those boxes could be used for if YOU had them for YOUR business? I’ll bet there are at least 10,000 ideas.

     Okay, here’s where I’m stupid. I’m going to give away my consulting expertise for free to the U.S. Postal Service. Right here. Right now. Think they’ll take it? Not a chance, but I’m going to put it out there anyway just because they are chewing off their own arms and legs and I hate to just stand around watching them self-destruct.

SO… Here’s what the U.S.P.S. needs to do:

  1. Stop wasting time and money and effort on useless dumb surveys. Just listen to your customers!
  2. Stop with the radical cost-cutting methods and ideas that only serve to prevent future sales and revenue streams. You can’t make money by turning off lights! Only sales make money!
  3. Stop throwing good money after bad with products and services no one wants. Stick to your knitting, and remember innovation is taking an idea all the way to completion! 
  4. Take some pages from FedEx and other competitors who train their drivers to go beyond being just drivers and to become account managers– as responsible for promoting and selling and customer servicing as for driving and delivering.
  5. Start an Email delivery service (Call me for details!).
  6. Learn how to use and promote via social media options. Visit Twitter for two hours!
  7. Initiate customer service training at ALL levels. When was the last time anyone got a thank you note from the U.S.P.S. when it wasn’t a thinly-veiled give-me-a-tip-for-Christmas card?
  8. Put a P.O. Box in every P.O. Box (Call me on this one too!).
  9. Recruit community groups to garden and landscape your ugly buildings (inside and out).
  10. SPONSOR community events; get out there and mix with your customers! They don’t bite! Show them you’re (like State Farm) a good neighbor! 
  11. SELL AD SPACE ON THE INSIDE OF EVERY P.O.BOX DOOR!!!! 
  12. SELL AD SPACE ON STAMPS!!!!
  13. Provide shelves for the poor souls with heavy packages standing on lines waiting for the incompetent counter clerks to finish their coffee. 
  14. PIPE IN SOME MUSIC!!!
  15. Make it “A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE” to go to the post office!
  16. How about an occasional (NON-Christmastime) slip in empty mailboxes that the carriers sign that says: “I noticed you didn’t get any mail today, but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you anyway. Have a great week!” 
  17. Barter some direct mail advertising for media time and space… other services! 
  18. Run direct mail training sessions for small businesses in P.O. lobbies – serve coffee for free! 
  19. START A REAL BLOG that actually addresses real customer situations on a daily basis! (If you actually read this far, definitely call me on this one!)
  20. Teach small business owners/operators how to tie direct mail to website and other ad and promotion programs.
  21. Offer (Put in all business P.O. Boxes) detailed info on direct mail programs with package rates for use of postcards and self-mailers, with sizes and deals and discounts and coupons!
  22. Offer quantity discounts!
  23. Offer and arrange shared delivery discounts (to same office or building, for example).

     NUTS, huh? Well, I’ll tell you what: If you continue the course you’re on, YOU’RE NUTS BECAUSE YOU WILL END UP KILLING YOURSELF and that would be a terrible waste of assets, resources, some super-nice people who work for you and bring about the demise of a still much-needed service.

     God Bless and Good Night!  halalpiar     

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Dec 05 2008

NO MORE ROOM FOR “SNAIL MAIL”!

Gutless, incompetent, greedy

— the US Postal Service! 

     While everyone out there is busy flexing holiday business muscles by beating up on our gutless car manufacturers, incompetent government, and greed-saturated Wall Street, I propose we have overlooked the longest standing American institution of them all –which happens to be gutless, incompetent AND greedy– the US Postal Service!

     Whaaaat?  I LOVE my mail carrier. 

     Oh. yeah, well I have news for you: my Father was a US Post Office Special Delivery Messenger for over 20 years (and no gift to higher learning I might add, but I loved him nonetheless). 

     There is no Special Delivery designation or service anymore.  It’s been replaced by overnight delivery services and the Internet.  Whaaaat?  Yup, nobody in the P.O. (including the “Postmaster General”) had any B.R.A.I.N.S. or the foresight to see it coming.  And when they finally did, the solution was layoffs and stamp price hikes?

     Having Special Delivery service in the 30’s and 40’s, then closing it out as express mail options came on the scene, is like being ahead of the other team 25 to 0 in the first inning, and losing.

     I practically grew up in and around the stupidity that permeated the P.O. (or “P.U.” as my Dad routinely called it while holding his nose).  Add to that, the fact that my career has included massive direct mail experiences (including responsibility for 1.6 million mailings per month at one point, and annual mailings of 8-9 million at another), and I can tell you with some measure of authority that Postal Service management has gone from dumb to dumber in two short decades.

     What prompted this tirade, you might ask?  This week, I received a lunatic 4-page survey from the highly undistinguished Gallup Poll asking for multiple choice answers to 37 zillion stupid questions about how pleased or displeased I was with the US Postal Service.   

     First of all, the missive was addressed to my long-closed and dis-incorporated company of years ago and delivered (only heaven knows how the wheels of government turn) to my relatively new P.O. box in a different state! 

     I mean, I would love to hear the explanation of what the value is of how what I think of whether my P.O. box mail arrived before or after 10am in the last 30 days and if the carrier behaved pleasantly.  Duh.  Do you, in other words, make it a policy of tracking your routine mail deliveries by time periods and carrier dispositions?   

     What contribution are answers to these inane questions ever going to accomplish in helping this disintegrating giant of disorganization to rise up and slay the (now commonplace) successful overnight delivery companies of the world?

     Don’t the ninnies who run this establishment realize that while Fed Ex and others have been busily teaching their drivers that they are not just drivers, that they are account managers (and this, by the way, for more than 20 years!), and realize as well that the public has simply passed them by?  Are they blind to the fact that UPS has risen to the occasion and outperformed them? 

     Have they never heard of being competitive in the marketplace?  Do they still think they are viable?  Have they ever reckoned with being referred to as “snail mail” all these years of emerging Internet communications domination? 

     Oh, and who’s worse?  The Postal Service for being so blind and unbusinesslike for so long, or the Gallup Organization for taking advantage of the P.O.’s plight, to whip together this ludicrous questionnaire?

     $urely, this $urvey wa$ a big-ticket a$$ignment to Gallup.  Dear Postmaster General – You should know that I could have solved the problem (instead of prolonging the agony with meaningless surveys) for whatever amount was paid to this failing polling organization.  The solution is called strategic competitive marketing.  Surveys won’t show this! 

     The Postal Service obviously hasn’t a clue.  Gallup knows even less.  Maybe they deserve each other: two fading giants of the past.  Let’s hope someone wakes them up, shakes their boots, and gets at least one of them back to planet reality.  halalpiar        

# # #

See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.  # # #

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