Jun 05 2011

Someone’s Opinion of You

“Someone’s opinion of you


   does not have to become 


   your reality.”


—Motivational Speaker Les Brown


Let’s look at it this way: You are reading this right now because you are an entrepreneurial thinker and/or leader, because you own or operate or manage a small business or professional practice, or because you are a partner or investor in, or advisor to (or a student of) small business.

If this is true of you, then you know you are made of different stuff than are corporate or union folks, or those engaged in mass media. . . or government employees (from the White House to your State House, County Seat and Town Hall . . . including all levels of government agencies) . . . or those theoretical academic types.

Let’s put all those people aside for a minute. (Yes, of course there are exceptions; I’m talking about the overwhelming, vast majority of individuals who simply don’t get it, and who prefer being sheep!)

You, on the other hand, have a brain. And common sense skills. You know how to think and act productively.

You are focused on the here-and-now present-moment more than most people, and have little or no use for analyzing the past or fantasizing the future, beyond getting your ideas to work.

You know how to make things happen.

You have a sense of urgency, and you know how to “turn on a dime” when it’s time to change direction or meet a market need.

You create your own opportunities and are not afraid to step up to the plate when they arise — plus, you are smart enough to know how to get yourself on base without swinging wildly for the seats on every pitch.


Okay, so as far as others cut from the same fabric as you are concerned, all of the above makes you a (no gender implied) “Good Guy.” (There are 30 million of us!)  

But–alas–those admirable qualities that set the entrepreneurially-minded apart from the closed-minded also fail to insulate small business enterprise high-achievers from warped opinions!

Here’s the bottom line: When you find yourself beginning to worry about others’ opinions of you, your behavior, the way you run your business, the kind of schedule you keep, ask first if you are behaving legally and second if you are sacrificing your own health or your family’s existence.

If it’s “no” to both of these questions, change the channel.

It’s your brain. You are the only one who controls your brain. Simply change the mental channel in your brain from whatever self-denial, self-badgering, self-guilt station is playing, to something more challenging or geared more to easy listening.

It’s a choice. You can choose to rise above other’s opinions and pursue your burning desires freely.

Imagine if Edison or Ford or Gates or Winfrey or Ashe or Carnegie or Jobs or any great entrepreneur had balked at others’ negative opinions. We’d probably be –just for starters– without lightbulbs, cars and computers. Don’t choose for the negative opinions of those who can’t see your light to create darkness for your business ventures.

There’s too much to do, and life is too short to waste time dwelling on or worrying about other people’s opinions. Because–in the end– all you have for certain is you!


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Hal@Businessworks.US or 302.933.0116

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson] 

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals. God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

2 responses so far

Jun 29 2009

In Response to Dealth and Dying

The World’s Greatest Expert


on Death and Dying–


Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, MD


–Points to Five Stages:

  • Denial and Isolation
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

     She said we –all of us–  must experience each of these five stages to one degree or another in the order they are shown above with every loss experience. The only exceptions being instances where people get stuck in a given stage and never get beyond it.

     So as business owners, managers, and entrepreneurs, some of us experience bits and pieces of these five stages everyday with daily losses.

     Kübler-Ross said that losses are not limited to human death, and can  include the loss of a limb or faculty, or ability… loss of a valuable possession (a home, a car, a business), loss of companionship (including divorce and separation), loss of freedom (including jail), loss of a job, loss of a client, loss of a prospect or opportunity, loss of self-esteem, loss of authority, etc., etc.

     And to a lesser degree, we even experience these stages when we lose a dollar, a photograph, a letter, an address, a contest, and so on.

     So what’s the point? Healthy successful people do everything humanly possible to channel all their energies and mental focus on reaching the level (or “Stage”) of ACCEPTANCE as quickly as possible, and on maintaining themselves at that level as permanently as possible.

     Everything else is non-productive. Everything else leaves us feeling deflated and defeated and negative. Some people stay in these places their entire lives. Some are institutionalized. Some do themselves in.

     Stages 1-4 are pure torment. We must go through them, but the goal needs to be to move through them as rapidly as our minds and bodies allow us to. Getting through the maze may take friends and rescuers to stand by shoulder to shoulder. We have all performed that function for someone else, but perhaps have forgotten?  

     Keep always in the front of your mind that no matter how out of control it may feel to be stuck somewhere in denial and isolation, or in anger, or in a bargaining position, or a state of depression, it IS a matter of choice!

     The minute we choose to accept loss, the quicker we can get on with a happy and productive existence and make the most of the short time we each have here on Earth…make the most of the relationships we’ve been blessed with: with other people and places and purposes.

     We need not choose to lock ourselves into suffering and misery. Life and business life are way too short to have wasted time and energy with anything besides being happy and healthy and in active pursuit of our dreams.  

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Input welcome anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar  # # # 

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