Jul 09 2011

Grudge Sludge!

When you carry a grudge


. . . there’s no room to


carry your business!



The old Dutch proverb and German expression,“Vee grow too soon oldt, und too late shmart” sums up much of why we fail miserably to fully understand and effectively cultivate relationships. Our seeming inability to let go of the angry feelings someone close to us once provoked has toppled many business ventures, even entire empires.


But, ah, the ability to forgive and forget those who crossed us up is a choice

And the consequences of making or not making that forgive-and-forget choice are the differences between:


  • Suffering a permanent or recurring headache that’s potentially terminal to you and your enterprise– because by holding on, you are wasting energy and choosing to subject yourself (and ultimately your business) to someone else’s control.

Carrying a grudge is

what leadership is not!


Many of us carry more grudges than we are probably conscious of. We keep them in our throats, and they come out as guttural utterances when certain names or circumstances surface. We keep them in little invisible knapsacks in our brains that send a flood of upset feelings into our nervous systems whenever they’re unzipped.

Some people get tight chest muscles (love relationships), tight shoulders (related to responsibility), backaches (associated with memories), stomach flutters, fists, headaches, leg pains, shortness of breath, indigestion, diarrhea, constipation, toothaches . . . it’s called being over-stressed, and it’s debilitating. For an entrepreneur, it can kill.

Ask any cardiologist.


Stress is both physical and emotional. It can be good (like the stress that keeps you sitting up straight in a chair), or bad (DIS-stress!), like the level that produces symptoms such as those in the earlier paragraph. Carrying a grudge, having revengeful feelings, like uncontrollable anger or road rage, can be a self-destruct path of no return.

Recognizing that letting go is a choice may not make doing it any easier, but that –itself– is also a choice. You can choose to make it easier. You can also ease the process by practicing more deep breathing and/or by taking a yoga or meditation program. Doctor-sanctioned serious exercise, like daily jogs and brisk walks can also help.

Think of it this way–

Every minute of your life that’s consumed by harboring angry or frustrated or disappointed feelings about another person (even, and perhaps especially, family!), or entity or event or policy is a minute you will never get back, and it’s a minute that you are choosing for someone or something else to reach inside your brain and control your thoughts.

And you are facilitating that impossibility to happen. After all, no one else can really control what you think and how you behave, except you . . . unless you choose for that to happen.

Now, why would you want to do that?


# # #

Your FREE subscription: Posts RSS Feed


  Open minds open doors.

 Thanks for visiting and God bless you.

  Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

No responses yet

Sep 01 2009

NETWORKING: The contact you never expected

Travel in circles


of authenticity!



     I used to teach  my entrepreneurship students to carry their business cards everywhere. I even suggested that a couple of laminated cards tucked into a bathing suit pocket or workout or yoga bag wouldn’t be a bad idea. They thought I was nuts!

     I’ll tell you what…  you find me someone who is a self-made business success who doesn’t always have a business card available, and I guarantee you that an inheritance played some role. Proactive business owners and managers know that most explosive business opportunities come from where you least expect them.

     I’ve had people  track me down with a ten year-old business card that no longer had the same address and phone numbers. And of course you can find anyone these days on Google. The point is to not discount the value of every contact you make every day.

     Networking isn’t about  a great grip handshake, a business card exchange and a teethy smile. Networking isn’t a flashy passing or a thunderbolt. Networking is all about cultivating the relationships you initiate.  Here are four thoughts, and a bottom line…


Take the time and trouble  to jot down the date, event, and some memorable trait or visual or vocal characteristic or attribute on the back of every business card you collect. “Red hair / wire-rim glasses / unbuttoned collar / infectious laugh” are the kinds of comments that will help bring the individual back into focus after a hundred other cards and a hundred hours pass. 


Write something personal  on the cards you give out, especially to someone you really want to remember you. Scribble a connecting website or 2nd email address that’s not printed on the card, your cell number, or a book title you recommend.


Follow up. Follow up. Follow up.  Nobody does it. I’m not talking about being annoying or badgering; don’t waste your time. I mean if someone mentions they have a child with a special interest or need, and you run across information that’s related, send it along: “Saw this and was reminded of our discussion; thought you might be interested.”


The biggest and/or best business deal  you ever get is likely to come –as they say at the ballpark– from out of left field. It may be a contact you never dreamed of being productive, or one that comes as a second or third person referral from someone else who you never thought even noticed you.

The Bottom line . . .

Don’t write anyone off. 

The world is getting smaller every day.

People who like you and what you have to say

will talk about you and make sales for you . . .

when you least expect.

Oh, and expectations, by the way,

breed disappointment.


Value and appreciate everyone you encounter

regardless of appearances or stature.

What goes around, I’m reminded,

comes around!

Travel in circles of authenticity! 

# # #

FREE blog subscription: Posts RSS Feed

Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

No responses yet


Tag Cloud