What do workaholics,

delusionists, and grieving

friends and relatives

all have in common?

 Why is it that the people who are most in need of breaking out of their workaholic patterns are the ones most resistant to the suggestion? They’re afraid to let go. Well, logically, it makes sense. Fear is the single most destructive emotion (and sometimes, paradoxically, greatest motivator) in existence.

Letting go is life’s single hardest task.

Workaholics share this infamous platform with those who live in delusion as well as those who grieve the loss of loved ones. Letting go means giving up an important part of yourself in favor of moving on, or back into, reality. Many egotistically, and sadly, are convinced that the world and their business could not survive without them.

“Sadly,” because these same people will almost inevitably drive themselves into cardiac care units… or the grave… using the excuse as a rationale that they “never gave up the ship!” It’s a lot like being mentally retarded (and having a daughter who is, I can say this with some authority). The single difference is the awareness of having a choice!

Never-say-die workaholics

 simply choose not to choose.

They know they have a choice, but feel threatened by the idea of changing horses in mid-stream. So they instead invest themselves in maintaining the status quo at all costs. Or, as world renown family therapist Virginia Satir used to say, “they get dried up and shrivel up.”

And, Satir goes on to ask: ”Don’t you think this affects the growth of their families and that of those who work with them?” See for yourself. Status quo seekers are everywhere, harboring pain and misery, and transferring their own inadequacies and choices not to choose to change.

How dim the lights that light these lives. How stagnant the businesses they run. How rebellious the children they raise. Choosing situations and leaders who make the choices for them . . . how unfulfilled the lives they live.

This picture is bleak indeed, and it permeates many corners of the corporate and union worlds and government universe but, thankfully, has rarely become the payoff of hard work and self-sacrifice that many entrepreneurs practice. How is that? Because most entrepreneurs play and sleep as hard as they work.        

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Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

Think “Shrink”!

Are you a basket case business owner?

What will you do with

your time this year?

 is not always transparent!

Every winning sports and business team has a sparkplug — THE one most enthusiastic, energetic, pumped-up, mover and shaker who ignites her or his teammates and gets them focused on achievement.                
                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Combined with what most of us might designate as leadership qualities… trust, authenticity, integrity, empathy, compassion, active listening, speaking clearly, sense of humor, teaching by example, et al…the single sparkplug ingredient, the piece that brings it all together, comes quietly from inside… and is not always transparent. 

“Sparkpluggyness“  is not tangible, obvious, or even evident in many cases. It is a fire-in-the-belly sense of desire and mission. True leaders exude it, and usually without ever even noticing or acknowledging it. It’s something that “just happens” as many have shared along their career paths.

So how does one begin to cultivate and nurture the characteristics that lead to rewarding practices of inside leadership? Do boosters work? Energy drinks? Coffee? Drugs? Ginseng?

One might best begin with a large dose of self-esteem, let that percolate into self-confidence, add a dash of deep breathing, proper exercise, enough rest, nutritional foods (and obviously eliminate addictive tobacco and alcohol products along the way), and work at mastering the ways of dealing best with your own stress.

Try whatever comes along until you find the one thing that best works for you. Is it jogging? Lifting? Yoga? Massage therapy? Playing with a pet? Pursuing a hobby? Swimming? Gardening? Painting? The answer is different for every single person. But you’ll never discover what’s best for you if you aren’t continually experimenting.   

This is all about getting in touch with your inner self and firing up that furnace. If YOU don’t know what makes you tick, you’ll never be able to know how to best figure out what makes other people tick, and how to best deal with them to get them motivated.

Even Maslow’s Theory of Motivation relies one-hundred percent on a manager’s ability to “size up” others to be able to best reward them at a level that’s most meaningful to THEM. If you give me a plaque when I most want a more impressive title, you’re wasting my interest and sense of teamwork. You will not gain my commitment.

This little piece of leadership need not be for public consumption: The more you know about what makes YOU go, the closer you are to understanding and motivating others, and the more you can succeed at getting others to achieve, the better a leader you become and the more you will accomplish, transparently or otherwise.

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Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

WASH YOUR HANDS

To Kill Staff Infections!

By now, all of us know, or have heard (or we believe instinctively) that the majority of hospital deaths are the result of complications compounded or initiated by staph infections. These can be traced back to caregivers and support staff not properly and frequently enough washing their hands.

Who woulda thunk it? Such a simple thing.

Well, not only is it true, but I believe it’s even truer (though never researched) in business. After all, it has been widely researched and is no secret that the vast majority of business failures –those that are under-financed, that sell corrupted products and offer ineffective misguided staffs and services– come from poor management.

Management (even when it’s more task than people-oriented) is all about interfacing, interacting, and encountering. It’s about keeping a clear and receptive mindset.

Open Minds Open Doors!

SO WASH YOUR HANDS!

Now I’m not talking about hot water, soap, scrubbing and towel drying. I’m talking about:

1. Closing your eyes for just 10 seconds (perhaps 5 if you’re in a meeting, and not at all if you’re driving!) before and after every encounter with every customer/employee/vendor and investor.

2. Taking a deep breath (to focus attention and to maintain oxygen supply and blood pressure).

3. Mentally (imagining yourself) washing your hands, like a doctor between examinations.

For many who try or maintain this practice, it helps to go through an actual 2-3 second physical action of briskly rubbing your hands together. The action sends a reinforcing mental message to your brain.

Do it before AND after EVERY meeting, conference, phone call, email, letter, overnight delivery, and text message exchange, for as long as your business status remains “critical.” Hey, you are, after all, being a doctor, aren’t you?

You ARE examining, aren’t you?

You ARE listening, exploring, considering, assessing, recommending, deciding, weighing, evaluating, checking and re-checking, sizing up, assuring and reassuring, projecting, planning, strategizing, and predicting, aren’t you?

And what happens to your brain when you’re on the fly and go straight from one encounter to another without  (it sometimes seems) even breathing? Go on, answer this last question. I’ll wait. Okay, and how does that stress translate to your body?

You’re not sure? Well, where do you think these come from?: Headaches, backaches, toothaches, stiff neck, upset stomach, constipation, diarrhea, short temper, edginess, leg cramps, burning eyes, skin rash, urinary infection, or worse — cancer, heart problems? Bottom line: is it worth it?

TRY THIS 10-SECOND

Make-Believe Brisk Hand-Scrubbing APPROACH

for just one week –January 2012 is a perfect test period.

Watch what happens.

Put “WASH YOUR HANDS” reminder notes on a sign over your desk, stuck to your phone and computer screen. Ask your spouse, partner, co-worker, friend or associate to ask you: “Did you wash your hands?” before and after you turn a doorknob, before and after you lift and replace your phone, start or end your meeting . . . improvise here; just keep making the effort.

Here’s what you’ll get: IF you’re honest with yourself and IF you actually follow the prescription, you will be more tuned in to each person you communicate with; you will be noticeably more productive; you will– GUARANTEED–  feel better – mentally, physically, and emotionally; you will more positively affect others around you.

You will, I promise, astound yourself!

More on 2012 “LEADERSHIP”? Come visit me and comment on my Guest Blog post at TBD Consulting’s Jonena Relth’s site: LEADERSHIP TRANSPARENCY and “I” IS FOR INTEGRITY and “T” IS FOR TRUST.

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Kisses, and Contracts!                                                                                                                               
                                   

It has been proverbially said in entrepreneurial circles that when two partners agree on everything, one of them is not necessary. This is probably a truism that is rarely given credibility until a highly-agreeable partnership goes south.

WHERE HUGS AND KISSES REPLACE HANDSHAKES

By the same token it has been often advised to never go into partnership with anyone other than your spouse because no one else shares the same values. There are of course –as with anything else– exceptions. I can think of two I’ve known that seemed to work, out of many hundreds I’ve consulted with.

(Curiously, both of these exceptions involved partners of father/son age differential, but neither was a father/son business. In both cases the older partner worked fewer hours and handled all computer and paperwork; the younger partner oversaw sales and operations.)

The point is that only a spouse can have the same single-minded purposes and focused energy to share. “Ah,” so you say, “but if my husband (or wife) ever worked with me, we’d divorce or kill each other! We already have too much friction between us and that would rapidly turn to anger!” Or, well, something like that.

Here’s the news: friction is a positive ingredient in life, without which in some form, a lot of life would even be possible. And anger? Reality dictates that anger –controlled anger– can be very stimulating, invigorating, motivating, refreshing, illuminating, and serve as a prompt to forward motion.

Anger is also a release. It can –again, in its controlled form– clear out and refocus unproductive stress, and invite innovative thinking. It can trigger improved communications.

Partners need not eat together, sleep together, and vacation together, but my experiences have shown that those who do, almost universally succeed because they share what they believe in, offset one another’s personalities, and support each other’s intents and initiatives to a fault. As a competitor, it’s hard to overcome that unified front.

WHERE CONTRACTS REPLACE HANDSHAKES

The place I’ve found partnerships to be most forced, and most frequently fail, is in the professional practice arena — doctors, dentists, lawyers, allied medical sciences, accountants, management consultants. Egos far above and beyond the norm tend to flair and breed “control freaks.” Unproductive know-it-all attitudes prevail.

Winning partnerships require

winning leadership attitudes and

clearly defined separation of responsibilities.

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Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

Leaderless government has laid the trappings for America to become a nation of scholastic sloths. And John and Suzy Q. Public have bought into the time drift. What’s the impact on business?

Be honest: When did

you last read more

than 18 pages of a

 book… any book?

I guess this factoid is less astonishing to most people than it is to me and other authors who share head space in the sand: The highly reliable SPR (Self Publishing Resources) reports (bullet-point number 30) that their studies and research show “most readers do not get past page 18 in a book they have purchased.”!

You’re in business and wonder about impact and impressions that add up to a book purchase in the first place? Go back to that same list and check out bullet point number 22, which reports that average bookstore browsers will spend 8 seconds looking at a front cover and 15 seconds scanning the back cover.