Archive for the 'Humor/Satire' Category

Dec 22 2011

CHRISTMAS IN IRELAND

Updated From the Best of Hal’s Christmastime Business Posts . . . 

A toy truck, a stroller,

                                            

and pub coasters

                                          

strung with dental floss…

                                                                                                                        

                                                                                 

A few years ago, on a re-visit trip to Ireland, Kathy and I –romanticized by the classic Bing Crosby Christmas song, “Christmas In Killarney”– spent our first Christmas away from home at Killarney Country Club.

                                                       

 Up a rocky, grass-between-the-tires dirt road from downtown Killarney, jockeying “the wrong side” car controls to bounce cheerfully along between the endless stone walls that separated farm from farm and cows from sheep, we drove under a brick archway and into an historic-looking brick complex that held captive about three dozen two-story townhouses.

There was one other car at the far end. We parked and followed the “Office” arrow. We found a smiling, green-eyed, freckled face and bubbling thick Irish accented young lady at the office counter. We registered and unpacked. We were shown to a spacious two-bedroom upstairs arrangement with living room and kitchen downstairs. Our windows overlooked the property’s main courtyard and pathway to the Country Club Pub.

It seems when I think back that (after the first day of dealing with the one other car’s occupants — a rude tourist family of six that commandeered the odd three-feet-deep indoor pool), we were actually the only guests there for the rest of the (Christmas) week.

We made the trek into town everyday, a beautiful, historic, bustling hub filled with happy holiday shopping locals, who seemed to visit a shop or two, then stop in a pub, then visit a shop or two, then stop in a pub . . . you get the idea. And we drove hundreds of miles of picturesque unspoiled (and unlittered) countryside during the week, meeting only pleasant, accommodating-to-a-fault natives all along the way.

Night driving seemed a bit perilous, so we opted for evening visits to the Country Club Pub (the alternative was staying in our unit with three tv stations, two of which were German!). The only Christmas tree we could find ($45 American) made Charlie Brown’s look like Rockefeller Plaza. Our scruffy pine was about 30 inches tall and had about 16 (or maybe it was 14?) scrawny branches.

We had no ornaments, but confiscated a wide range of cardboard pub coasters in our travels, punched small holes in each with a fork, and strung them up with pieces of dental floss. A homemade aluminum foil star found its way to the top. We stuffed two ”Season’s Greetings”-scrawled plastic shopping bags with small sofa pillows and hung them in our windows.

We grocery-shopped for the all-time elaborate brunch of Irish rasher (bacon), eggs, cheese, jam, butter, toast, fruit, crackers, caviar, coffee, tea–  and a bottle of asti that (being entrenched deep in beer and ale country, cost 11 gazillion dollars American) tasted a lot better than it was.

We exchanged gifts we had bought the day before, walking down opposite sides of the downtown, waving in between passing cars, trucks, buses, pedestrians, and shopfronts, a book for me, a piece of Irish crystal and a little stuffed Irish Christmas Bear for her, plus some other goodies. It was great fun and everyone wished everyone Merry Christmas!!

Every minute we spent there was great, even when fifteen native Killarney guys had us singing with them (at the Country Club Pub where they’d hiked to by flashlight from their nearby farms) until 3am which led us to the hilarious discovery that no one there had ever even heard of the Crosby song, “Christmas In Killarney”!!! (I tried to sing it and they all looked at one another like I was from Mars.)

With the rows of “y’got ta finish dem” topped-off pints of beer and ale lined up from one end of the bar to the other, planted there when 11:15pm closing time came, it ultimately mattered not that anyone heard of any song as long as you sang. And sing we did! When Kathy was asked to present a song, she sang “Zippity, Do-da, Zippity-A…” which brought the house down.

So much for that, but it was a wonderful experience. Just one thing was missing. Family. We spent half the afternoon trying to phone home, with circuit connections going from where we were on Ireland’s West Coast, to Northern Ireland, to Boston, to Florida, to New York, to the clan in New Jersey who sounded like they were in a tunnel.

It made us realize that all the happiness of the week there was momentarily lost to being lonesome for family. We managed to bounce back after that when the resort manager and his wife (who we suspect might have been listening in to our phone connection efforts) invited us to their home for a Christmas drink. 

We got to see the doll baby stroller Santa brought for their daughter. (Last Christmas, Santa brought the doll!). I think their son got a toy truck. One single present each and those children were in heaven! Uh, it might be worth repeating that: “One single present each and those children were in heaven!”

That certainly gave us cause for pause. We in America are blessed with so much, and family is, well, what Christmas is all about now, isn’t it? It was a Christmas of great learning that stayed with us.

I truly hope for you that you enjoy what you have today, and not take any of it for granted.

Oh, one last thing: Please remember to God Bless Our Troops for their eternal vigilance that grants us the freedom we have to celebrate this joyous day and season! Enjoy!

 Peace be to you.

                        

The original of this Christmas story appeared on 12/25/08 on this blog site.

                               

God Bless You One And All

And Merry Christmas To You!

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Open  Minds  Open  Doors

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Oct 23 2011

BIZ ALPHABET SERIES…”H”

Welcome to the world’s first SMALL BIZ Alphabet Series of blog posts!

 “H”…HUMOR

 

 

What’s “funny” to you may not be to others… imagine that!  So we who run our own small businesses (or small pieces of big businesses) might do well to be reminded thatHey, didja hear the one about the the guy with the parrot . . .? may not be the best kind of opening with a disgruntled employee, angry supplier, or irate customer.

In fact, the parrot joke (or any joke!) is probably not a great thing to share with anyone who’s come to you with wrinkled brow, mouth turned down, hands balled into fists, or who’s (defensive) folded arms are noticeable only second to being glared at over the tops of their glasses. Others do not always understand or accept what you mean.  

So, to make the best of things, smiling and laughing your way through it all is not always in your best business or personal interests, or those of the other individual or group you’re dealing with. The solution? Observe carefully and think twice, before opening your “funny story” mouth once.

Pretend for a moment that you are standing in line at a customer service center counter. You are holding a product you had saved up for and cheerfully purchased in time to enhance the upcoming weekend visit (your first) with your fiance’s parents. You know they would be impressed.

Yet when you went to put the thing together, parts were missing, directions were not in English, and the major component was cracked.

Here you stand, patiently quiet but shifting your feet as you try to decide if you should put the thing down on the floor or keep holding it. Each of the three people ahead of you takes 15 minutes to tell their 10-second story. As you stoop to pick up the damaged goods, which you thankfully decided to plant between your feet, guess what?  [Are you breathing?]

The customer service rep, who never noticed you anyway, apparently decided it was as good a time as any to leave, putting a “Gone To Lunch” sign on the counter and, in one quick whirl, disappear out the swinging door. You and the four others behind you stand there dumbfounded. The five of you start jabbering.

The manager notices the commotion, and strides up to the annoyed gathering with a smile and big greeting, followed by:

“You guys [3 of the 4 are women] remind me of the time when my uncle Louie went to the local pistol range [2 of the 4 had large peace-symbol jewelry showing] and the instructor asked Louie if he’d be using his gun , ha-ha-ha-ha, to shoot him for having to take his lunch hour at that very moment, ha-ha-ha-ha. You’ll have to return later.”  

[Ha-Ha-Ha-HA-HA-HA!]

You can imagine –as radio’s beloved Paul Harvey used to say– the rest of the story. This contrived incident may seem amusing from a distance, but trying to be funny at the wrong time in the wrong place with the wrong people will almost definitely succeed at making a bad situation worse.

Humor, real humor that turns on smiles and laughs comes from the heart and the guts, not an aspirin bottle. It is not a quick fix. It is an honest flowing response delivered in good judgement to those who have provided some clue that indicates they will appreciate your offering. Good humor is a gift. Real gifts are never forced.

                                        

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Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

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Sep 21 2011

Multi-Tasking

It’s the middle name for

 

 

most entrepreneurs, but

 

 

is it the source of

 

 

real solutions?

 

Multi-tasking —as in walking post haste to the men’s or ladies room, chewing gum, texting your accountant while cell phone conferencing your lawyer and signing off on a major customer delivery form on a clipboard being held by your assistant . . . and all the time knowing that in just a matter of seconds, you’re going to need at least one hand free.

Yes, entrepreneurs live in the fast lane, and yes multi-tasking is a way of life for the small business owner. But does the end always justify the means? Surely you’ve heard more than once from a filled-with-wisdom grandparent type that “Haste Makes Waste!” and have no doubt proven the truth of that to yourself a few times, true?

But now you have passed all recollection of those life experiences into the deep, dark, dingy caverns of your mind and no longer carry the need to heed such warnings anywhere near your front burner, and in fact probably harbor them back in that little storage area that holds memories of a flunked course, a failed romance and poor toilet training when you were three.

Though –aha!– the more you try to do in a hurry, the more likely you are to screw something up. Why? Because it’s been scientifically proven many times over that the human brain (though many protest the thought with what they believe to be contradictory examples) cannot do more than one thing at a time, meaning in the exact same moment.

Unconvinced?

Sit in a chair.

  • Lift your feet off the ground. turn your ankles so your feet make small circles (any direction you like — one in one direction and the other in another, or both in the same direction; it doesn’t matter).

  • Next, get your hands moving in sync by turning your wrists.

  • When you start feeling like a well-oiled machine, try to reverse direction with your hands while maintaining the original direction your feet have been moving. Or switch and reverse foot direction from your hands.

The point is that multi-tasking may look impressive to others who are easily impressed, but don’t expect that any kind of steady diet of trying to do more than one thing at a time is going to produce some miraculous level of off-the-charts productivity to write home about.

It is not better to do half a job well instead of a whole job not well. Doing half a job well simply means the job is only half done. Period. Doing a whole job not well means that effort and determination were present, and that, presumably, something important was learned in the process. Uh, this is true at least for most successful entrepreneurs. The rest? Who knows?

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Hal@Businessworks.US 302.933.0116

Open Minds Open Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

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Sep 19 2011

MOLD

Do you fit it,

 

 

grow it, break it,

 

 

or live with it?

 

 

 

I know how much you’ve been wanting for some intellect rising on this complex subject matter, so, okay, here it is. After reading this post, may you never again need to deal with mold in your career! This is my take on the subject:

 

If you “FIT the mold,”

. . . you probably work for big corporation and you’re happy as a pig in mud with your weekends, vacation, personal and sick days, benefit plans, and your acquired ability to analyze things to death while you cover your butt with one hand, and climb the internal political ladder with the other.

You also don’t like your your $50 tie, $100 white shirt, or your pay, but hey, who does?

You’re no doubt fed up with commuting costs too, but keep a lid on that complaint because fitting the mold also assures you of lunch hours, coffee breaks, holidays off, your own cubicle — maybe even a corner office if you’re a hot-shot — and you don’t want to sound too ungrateful with such long lines at the unemployment office.

 

If you “GROW mold,”

. . . it’s because you’re ambivalent, lethargic, basically lazy, and skilled at staying under the radar on the job. The last time you were innovative was when you helped the neighbor’s kids set up a lemonade stand in the driveway. Other than that, you’ve never had to think for yourself.

Your most complicated decisions have typically been whether or not to deal yourself another hand of solitaire. At least 3 people in your family have benefited from your counseling about how to qualify for welfare and food stamps. You work for the government.

 

If you “BREAK the mold,”

. . . Congratulations! You’re an entrepreneur. Here are a couple of links that will shed some light on your bizzare behaviors. You don’t buy lottery tickets, take long vacations, bet the farm,  or head off to AC, Las Vegas or Mohegan Sun with your paycheck every month — because you take only reasonable risks.

You have a big ego, but don’t expend a lot of energy struttin’ your stuff because your msission in life is to make your business idea successful. You grew up in or around a family business, hated school, resented authority, sold something door-to-door, and you are free-wheeling but practical.

Your neighbor’s father, who worked for the government for 35 years, once helped you set up a lemonade stand in the driveway.

 

If you “LIVE WITH mold,”

. . . you are a more-tolerent-than-is-good-for-you business manager or partner who knows your boss needs a swift kick in that place that corporate guys always cover. You know a shakeup is inevitable, but don’t like to make waves, and probably feel beholden to your boss or partner for taking you in when times were (like today?) less than promising.

Oh well, there are always mold removal services . . . probably a useful awareness for November 6, 2012.

 

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Open Minds Open Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

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May 05 2011

BUSINESS TERRORIST ALERT!

Is this new

                     

Alert System for you?


 

 

Tonight’s post summarizes some of the highlights of a new Business Terrorist Alert System devised by small business owners for small business owners.

The aim is to keep terroristic employee chatter to a minimum, productivity to a maximum, and provide advance warning of all levels of problem issues to all who work in and with your business.

System design serves to prompt increased awareness levels of suspicious behavior with need-to-know reporting access which includes direct communication transmission to the FBI, the CIA, The United States Secret Service, The Amalgamated Meat Cutters and Butcher Workmen of North America, and Judge Judy.

[Is your tongue in your cheek yet?]

When your employees approach the entrance to your work site each day –whether a construction location or fancy office building, or your garage– they will see a brightly-colored flag designating the level of terrorist alert you want them to adhere to.

————————————-

    RED, for example, relates to the most potentially threatening category: market competition. It may indicate an impending price war or that quality control invasions have been incurred overnight, that “bad press” mass media sound bites and photo ops have been unleashed, or that UFOs or crop circles have been sighted in the immediate vicinity of your business.

    An ORANGE flag signifies that information overload has occurred sometime between the departure of your last work shift of employees and the present arrival of this (orange-flagged) shift. Generally, when some combination of 63,000 emails and a full tape-machine of voicemails has accumulated overnight, you got trouble! Orange flags are an automatic distress call for your business’s Spam Management Team to kick into high gear.

    A GREEN flag at the front door or worksite entrance usually indicates some internal catastrophe regarding faulty operating equipment or systems, or the recording of budget excesses, lunchroom maintenance or menu irregularities –or suddenly discovered unaccountable inventories– have surfaced overnight. It could also represent a database collapse or information overload memos are presently sitting at every workstation.

    A PINK flag means pink slips. Serious downsizing is in order, and substantial outsourcing is in progress. It may additionally indicate that HRD recruitment programs are presently being conducted to solicit lower-cost replacement personnel from nearby prisons, psychiatric hospitals, nursing homes, and terrorist training camps from far-away deserts.

    Any time one of these flags is displayed together with a BLUE flag, it is done to warn unsuspecting employees and visitors that alarmist situations have risen to a fever pitch and that these events are typically accompanied by the installation of telephone, conference room, and men’s room listening device bugs; a de-bugging equipment room; hallway or worksite ceiling (or tree-mounted) mirrors; a beefed up security department; armed sentry positions; hidden satellite cameras; the installation of quirky receptionists on a rotation schedule; and new back-up tire-puncture plates in each parking space.

    ————————————–

If NO flag is flown on any particular day, you and your employees can consider yourselves fortunate. You have somehow made it through the last 24 hours without incident or serious threat. Thank your lucky stars. But don’t let down your guard. Who knows what evil lurks in the minds of men? The Shadow knows. Hahahahahahahahahhaha.

It seemed like as good a time as any for you to break from serious business stuff, just for a day! ;<) Have a great weekend ahead. See you back here with “KILLER BUSINESSES” on Saturday night!

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“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals. God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

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Mar 07 2011

Daily Commutes: Exhilarating or Zombie Zone?

To and from work, are you

                                        

wide-eyed and bushy-tailed

                                   

… or in a trance-like state?

                                                             

DOES IT MATTER? Well, does your job attitude matter? Your family attitude? What goes on with you in that little Twilight Zone commuting-to-and-fro time window? Are you looking and acting like you just stepped out of (or into) some weird, skin-crawling Steven King story? How does your daily commute impact your business? Career? Family?

                                                                                                                                                                              

Or, hey, maybe you’re hop-skip-jumping along in time to your happy whistling? (Hmmm, hard to remember the last time I heard someone whistle. Once it was commonplace, but now suggests serial-killer symptoms.) Or, no, I was, well, I was  going to substitute “humming” but that’s come to signal readiness for being committed, y’think?

I’m asking all these questions because I have been, alternatively: a tiger, a puppy-dog, and a zombie commuting to, from, and through a wide variety of career pursuits.

I’ve run the proverbial gamut of commuter vehicle experiences from choppers to car pools, and here’s some of what I found . . .

                                                                               

Years of Fortune 500 corporate client travels and commuter trains so jam-packed and smoke-filled, I often gave up a seat to stand, freezing, between the deafening, open-air train car connection spaces (an hour each way on those rare occasions when schedules were actually met), hanging on for dear life. And I won’t even mention the rain.

Ah, yes, and there was always at least one time when briefcase snaps failed or a coffee lid wasn’t secured!

Those enlightening death-defying train rides definitely fed appreciation like no other for the plastic suburbs and phony weekend-warrior neighbors.

I mean imagine racing home from the railroad station to screaming kids, barking dogs, complaints about dinner being cold and a mountain of bills. 

But, alas, those late arrival, go-getter young executives –after working long past punch-out time, in efforts to excel and earn more– often found that state of pandemonium a welcome greeting!

                                                       

In fact, it was almost a treat compared to straddling the clanking, jerking, bucklings that connected the stinking (slippery when wet) rail-cars after a stressful workday.

Then there were years of driving (and standing still on “expressways”) and tolls, bridges, bus fumes, and broken windshield wipers. I wonder how many hours wasted away waiting in lines and at traffic lights and in (cough!cough!cough!) claustrophobic tunnels. No, never mind, I really don’t want to know. It would make me crazier than I am.

So, take a taxi! Yeah, right! Talk about crazy. Besides that drivers must have to pass a taxi test that proves they can’t speak English, they all have their little trade secrets about longer routes to take passengers who are in a hurry, more dangerous routes to take passengers who look nervous, etc. Taxi? No thanks! 

____________________

Besides, I ditched all that nonsense years ago when I took the big leap off of payrolls and benefit plans and came crashing to Earth as (Ta-ta-ta-ta-tah-tah!) . . . poorer than a ragged beggar, more headstrong than the bull in front of the Stock Exchange, able to leap onto prospective clients in a single bound . . . Look! . . . Up in the air! . . . It’s . . . It’s a corporate mogul . . . it’s a pocket-padding politician . . . NO! IT’S ENTREPRENEURMAN!

Yup, that’s me! Shucks! You’d never recognize that frazzled commuter anymore. Now I just run up and down the stairs to my basement office, bathrobe aflutter, with an armful of pantry snacks, writing fool that I am, remembering the good old commuter days, and being soooo thankful to be struggling in small business with big happiness!

                                                                                  

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 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]
Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals. God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

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Feb 17 2011

GOT BILK? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And in the sweetness of

                                     

friendship let there be

                                       

laughter, and sharing

                                  

of pleasures. For in the

                             

dew of little things the

                           

heart finds its morning

                  

and is refreshed.”

--Kahlil Gibran

                          exam cartoon

“A sense of humor can be priceless in frustrating situations. Having a sense of humor does not mean laughing and joking all the time. But many of life’s problems and predicaments are the result of weaknesses and mistakes.

“If you can recognize these first and release some of your tensions by seeing the humor in a situation, you will be in better condition to begin the serious business of making adjustments.”

--Rita K. Baltus, PERSONAL PSYCHOLOGY FOR LIFE AND WORK

It’s probably true that the boardroom meeting gone sour at hearing the latest plunge-in-sales report, may not be the best venue for reenacting a joyful rendition of “Singing in the Rain” with a tabletop tap-dance.

One might also be well-advised to avoid raising outstretched hands to the roomful of grey-pinstriped-suit-clad directors and addressing them in mock whisper:

Did you hear the one about this guy goes into a bar with a purple parrot hanging off his belt . . .?”

But well-timed doses of tasteful humor do have a place in business. Humor almost always plays an important role in establishing, re-establishing and maintaining balance and harmony in business ownership and business management settings. For leaders, small periodic shots of self-effacing humor lets team members know they’re being led by authenticity.

It’s definitely true that getting a serious-minded sales prospect or existing or past customer to crack a smile or chuckle serves to lighten the burdensome parts of the sales message and generally makes that individual or group more receptive to exploring available products or services in a positive frame of mind.

She/he/they will also be more likely to engage with the emotional buying motive triggers that account for every sale of every product, every service and every idea . . . even those that seem like they are prompted by rational and logical-based decisions.

 Tasteful, well-placed humor is typically exercised most successfully by entrepreneurial thinkers and doers who are self-confident , self-reliant, and proactive thinking. Humor bullets are most often fired by those who are “sales personalities,” who are outgoing people who are invested in building and strengthening relationships.

But plenty of business humor has found its way to the top of agendas hosted by serious introverted business leaders as well, including Henry Ford, Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, and Thomas Edison, to name just a few. So it’s not a question of that you either have it or you don’t. It’s instead a question of timing, presentation, and appropriateness. And all three are within your reach.

You think you don’t have it in you to make humor part of your repertoire? Then work at it. You really can improve, you know. Aldous Leonard Huxley (You remember him, right? He sat behind you in third grade . . . or was it fifth?) once said:

There’s only one corner of the universe that you can be certain of improving and that’s your own self.”  

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Feb 06 2011

A Great Day For Football Haters!

Shop ‘n drive in peace ‘n quiet!

                                                                                                                             

What a wonderful thing, the Superbowl,

for those who don’t care about it. 

                           

You can commandeer the extra TV, take it to the attic or basement and watch anything your little heart desires without interruption.  It’s a great day to go shopping or take a drive because everyone else is not doing either.

You can go to the ocean and walk on the beach or boardwalk and know that every person you see there thinks the same way you do about this brainless, gorilla sport that attracts more heavy drinkers than athletes, and that can’t hold a candle to baseball or tennis or volleyball for genuine instinctive athleticism and mental challenge. 

No, I’m not calling all football players wimps, or all football fans drunkards. 

                                                                                

I’m just saying that football is not a sport that’s notorious for producing literary, scientific and artistic genius’s (geni?), and that —to me– it’s more amazing to watch what companies will spend more than T H R E E   M I L L I O N   D O L L A R S  on (for less than 60 seconds of sponsorship), than to see the event itself. 

                                                                                                                    

The commercials are, admittedly, always super themselves. 

                                                                          

But that makes me think we should just have a “Super Commercial Bowl” and skip the football stuff all together. 

We could root for one beer or car company over the other, buy all their promotional gear, put giant promotional junk in our yards, hold tailgate picnics outside of neighborhood bars and car showrooms, make cute little cookies and cupcakes in the shape of the manufacturer we’re rooting for, and call central phone numbers at a $1.99 a pop to vote on our favorite commercial. 

                                                                                

The winning company would have TV crews in their locker room after the contest and spray champagne on each other.  Kids could go to school the next day and dis the losers. 

We could all txt msg our teenagers with something more substantial to discuss for a change (besides, “Hey, how’s it goin’?” and “Fine” or “Whadya do at school today?” and “Nuttin” or “Where are you going?” and “Out.”). 

Tomorrow, we could gather round America’s watercoolers and coffee shops and talk about which parts of which commercials we liked best and thought were stupidest . . . Whooooooh!  Wait just a cotton-pickin’ minute!  I forgot.  We already do most of that already anyway, right? 

So enlighten me:

We need football because?????? 

                                                        

P.S. Just heard the news that the most “chicken wings” consumed in the history of the world are consumed on Superbowl Sunday!!! That makes for an awful lot of chickens out walking the streets . . . so be careful!

                                                    

 I must be missing something.  [;<} But then, what do I know?

I’m just a baseball fan (as if you hadn’t guessed).

                                              

Oh well, have a GREAT SUPERBOWL SUNDAY FAMILY DAY!

                                                   

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“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!”   [Thomas Jefferson]

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

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Jan 06 2011

Self-Motivation (Part 2 of 2)

Self-Motivation?

                            

I heard you

                                                    

stayed up all night

                        

talking to yourself?

                                                       

Couldn’t wait to see

                                     

Part 2? Here it is:

 

(Oh, and be sure to check out the P.S. at the end!)

                                                                                               

What are some other ways to motivate yourself besides talking to yourself?

When you’re feeling negative and you surround yourself with yourself, you set yourself up to lose. When you surround yourself with positive people, who are productive, achievement-oriented, and generally cheerful, you are setting yourself up to cultivate positive thoughts and positive attitudes.

When you find yourself feeling like you’re drowning in a sea of negativity, or overwhelmed by negative people or circumstances, remember you control your own brain and your own behavior . . . it is a choice, your choice. Choose to “change the station in your brain to best fit the circumstances. Dial in HAPPY-FM because “happy” works. 

Ask yourself what’s the worst thing could happen if you get up to the plate and swing instead of cower in the dugout corner?

You might strike out? Babe Ruth’s record number of hume runs ran in tandem with his record number of strikeouts.

Thomas Edison made 10,000 attempts before succeeding at inventing the lightbulb.

                                                                                                    

All logical rational stuff, you might be thinking, but negative feelings are not always logical or rational. True, but your ability to rise above them can be.

Learn what triggers your “throw in the towel” attitude and the feelings you typically experience just before that happens, then use that trigger instead to remind yourself to take some deep breaths. Use the couple of seconds worth of deep breathing as a focal point that allows you to shut down the upsets, crank up the positive side of what’s happening, and turn the situation around by simply choosing to turn it around.

Here’s what’s worth remembering (besides talking to yourself with conviction, three times a day, for 21 days): Use these tools (deep breathing and self-talk and awareness of choosing behavior) to force yourself to concentrate on the present, here-and-now moments in your life, as each moment passes, as much and as often as you possibly can.

Just in case of some disconnect as to why one would want to do this in the first place: The past is over and cannot be changed. The future has not yet come (and may never). Now is the only time. Or, as the now famous quote goes from B. Olatunji:

“Yesterday is history.

 Tomorrow is mystery.

Today is a gift.

That’s why it’s called the present.”

                                                                 

It may not be possible for us to live in the present moment 100% of the time, but odds are pretty good that most of us aren’t even doing that 20%-30% of the time, so there’s lots of room to grow and improve. And improving just this one single thing about yourself will improve your daily existence measurably. Again, give it 21 days. You will astound yourself with all you can accomplish and enjoy.

You doubt it? Then you’re proving the point that you become what you think about. The choices –happy and healthy or upset and ill– are 100% your choices. Make yourself a happy camper, and watch your business perform as never before. Surely your business is worth a 21-day trial?

Need a boost? Give me a call and we’ll talk. No fee to talk. No sales pitch. Anyone who wants more will ask for it and maybe then, we can discuss some terms, but this post isn’t about money. It’s about helping you to strengthen your SELF, in order to strengthen your business.

By the way, the very short video at the “P.S.” link below should give you a jump start, maybe even launch your rocket!

P.S. Click HERE: Could you possibly have

a bad day after starting off like this?

 

# # #

Hal@Businessworks.US   931.854.0474

Open Minds Open Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

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Jan 05 2011

Self-Motivation (Part 1 of 2)

Giddy-up Gone?

                                                

Talking to yourself

                        

too little too late?

 

 

Have you been secretly worried about talking to (and even with) yourself? Has it crossed your mind that you were becoming one of those “men-with-the-white-jacket-are-coming” basket cases? Take heart! Yes-sir-reebob!

You are, instead, probably (notice I leave a little squeeze room for those of you on the cusp) about as normal as blueberry pie. Actually, the worrying part is what hangs your mind in the balance. In other words, if you have to worry, worry about your worrying!

Bottom line is that all of us talk to and with ourselves (no,I am not referring to those who spend hours a day at it). We do this because verbal expression (like a pilot reciting her or his checklist out loud before taxiing onto the runway) serves to clarify and enhance, and prompt focus. I never knew a good writer who didn’t speak out loud what she or he had written before calling it “a wrap.”

“So, self, here we go. It’s time to share one of life’s great secrets.”

“Okay, I’m game. Let’s hear what your J.K.Rawling/Dan Brown tangled web of mysticism can reveal for all us normal folk who chatter away at ourselves in cars, closets, beds, and walking down the street.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Hey, I don’t know much about

Harry Potter’s chambers or DiVinci’s codes,

but I discovered 35 years ago that “self-talk

motivates, heals, humors, and strengthens.

Not sure? I’ll give you a quickie to try –improvise as you see fit to adapt it for yourself. I’ll also offer you a pack-on promise that if you say and repeat what’s below (or your own version) out loud, to yourself, like you truly mean it (even when you don’t feel up to it) three times a day, every day, for 21 days, you will be happier, healthier and more productive.

You will feel better!

( . . .and it’s free; in fact, you’ve nothing to lose but stress and upsets; how hard is that to argue with?)

Recite/Chant it exercising, or laying down, or standing on your head while spitting wooden nickles. Do it any time or place (except driving or operating heavy equipment, or with drugs or alcohol in your system). Concentrate on each word as you say it. It works. Period. Free. No charge. Me to you. Make it happen:

Healing energy into my body.

Healing energy into my body.

Stress and pain and tension out of my body.

Stress and pain and tension out of my body.

I am my body — left, right, center. (and think it!)

I am my body — left, right, center. (and think it!)

I am relaxed, happy, alert, and weigh the weight I want to weigh.

I am healthy, wealthy, painfree, safe and sound, and physically fit.

Today (“Tomorrow” when reciting at night) is the first day of my new life and I’m going to make (“am making” when reciting midday) it count.

I will make today (tomorrow) special for someone!   

All the great motivational and self-development gurus who ever lived share and practice similar methods. . . from Brian Tracy to Napoleon Hill and Wayne Dyer.

Try Zig Ziglar’s prescribed daily morning ritual recitation which starts with two hand claps as soon as you open your eyes in the morning:

(Clap, Clap) “Oh, boy, what a GREAT day to wake up and get going! I believe something wonderful is going to happen to me today!” 

Saying it like you mean it, from your heart, and concentrating on each word is –again– the key to success. Doing it consistently even when you would rather sleep or eat or play games on your computer, is your insurance policy that it will indeed produce results.

I am assuming of course that you ARE interested in producing results?

TOMORROW: Self-Motivation (Part 2 of 2)

– Same time, same channel.

# # # 

931.854.0474 or Hal@BusinessWorks.US

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]

Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

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