Archive for the 'Humor/Satire' Category

Oct 12 2020

NO Business Works Like BusinessWorks Works!

Since 1981, BusinessWorks.US

 

has been coaching businesses

 

of every size and description

 

to success . . . and beyond. 

 

We are NOT a collection of big-talk, big-price consultants who tell you what you already know.

We are invested in helping Clients to “Grow Now.” We help you ignite and pursue the best of your dreams, and interests. We open doors.

You get a proven track-record Business Growth Coach who invests hands-on experience, creative  support, energy (and even part of the project fee) into the success of your business.

From services to products, manufacturing to online, retail to professional practices, our Clients get decades of successful business-building experience and creative business development expertise.

Our credits include regional and national awards, and extensive experience with:  the SBA, chambers of commerce, universities and community colleges, private healthcare practices, and public service providers, national healthcare teams and committees . . . and with opening new market opportunities . . . for hundreds of successful Clients.

We have achieved record sales results for every size and type of business and industry — from entrepreneurial “Startups” and “Family Businesses” to “Fortune 500” companies, to public service and nonprofit enterprises.

Clients get sales and impression results from our unique creative content, strategies and applications for branding, marketing, advertising, PR, CRM, sales and management skill applications to virtually every form of broadcast/ online/video/print and promotional media.

When appropriate, we also deliver custom-designed, Client-Staff and Management Team training strategies and support programs

We energize and ignite client businesses and projects. We generate new revenue streams.

At our clients’ beck and call, we work remotely/virtually and on-site as required.

If you would like to know more . . . no fees, no “pushy hard sell,” no strings attached . . . give me a call:

 

HAL ALPIAR, President/CEO

BusinessWorks.US

1.931.854.0474

(M-S; 9AM-6PM; CST)

 

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Mar 25 2020

FREE Ways To GROW YOUR BUSINESS Now

GROW YOUR BUSINESS OR

 

PROFESSIONAL PRACTICE

 

N O W !

[And… keep your money, name, age, 

interests, address, email, SS, phone 

number, and dog’s name to yourself!]

 

Here’s a FREE no-strings weekly dose of success. Hear host Hal Alpiar’s proven business and practice development input based on 49+ years (and still ongoing) hands-on experience as a founder/partner/owner/manager/coach/ consultant, national book award author and management trainer of more than 50,000.

 

Hal’s FREE 23-minute podcasts are available 24/7 (via mobile phone). You can “listen in” on any 23-minute show (night-or-day) you choose (before, during, or after work… even while driving), and repeat portions (or entire broadcasts) at your leisure.

 

These podcasts are 100% about sharing problem/ success experience to help small businesses and professional practices grow NOW! No time limits. No need to identify yourself. Hal doesn’t chase you down.

You simply listen to any broadcast anytime that’s convenient. If you seek follow-up input to match your specific needs, simply email Hal@Businessworks.US (put “941” in subject line) or call 1.931.854.0474 (NO sales calls accepted) and set up a personal no-charge talk time.

 

YOU GET:

  • Examples of what others have learned the hard way so you can avoid wasting time, money and effort.

  • Stimulating, practical “how-to” ideas, input, advice, cautions, and encouragement, with a special emphasis on Partnerships and Family Business Development and ways to raise and nurture Family Support.

  • The latest and best approaches to Branding, Marketing, Advertising, Public Relations, Sales, Hiring, Firing, Risk-Taking, Management Methods and Employee Training.

  • New perspectives on small business Time and Money investments, Building New Revenue Streams, Startups, Revitalizations, Goal-Setting, your Mission and Vision.

  • Ways to improve Staff and Customer Relations, Communications Skills, Stress and Time Management, Leadership/Teamwork Development Skills, and More.

  • Diverse approaches to success from Hal Alpiar and his guests, who share their firsthand failure and success experiences with practically every type of business and professional practice imaginable.

The Guests are people who have single-handedly or teamed up to grow Family Businesses, Medical Practices, Retail, Service and manufacturing  entities, Nonprofit and Creative Projects.

Learn why on-the-job training often beats classroom theories (and this coming from your host who was twice honored as “Professor-of-the-Year” once at a major university and once at a small community college!)

 

GO NOW TO

 www.NewsTalk941.com/Podcasts 

(Scroll down 14 topic boxes to “BUSINESSWORKS”

Click on any Subject! (Many more behind the most

recent; scroll down thin gray righthand border)

 

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Aug 20 2019

DOES YOUR BUSINESS GO BEYOND “BUSINESS”?

DOES YOUR BUSINESS

 

  GO BEYOND “BUSINESS”?

 

Is it time to take a breather in your creative business quest? “NEVER!” is what most entrepreneurs would respond. 

In fact, I would go so far as to say that

MANY TIMES NEVER” is what those who are truly creative entrepreneurs would actually think!

 

 

This week brings one of those rare-breed individuals I’m describing: Valerie Connelly. She has come to the point of taking a breather long enough to present 35 years worth of dedicated creative focus on refining and building one single product to the point of readiness — delivering genuine women’s empowerment!

This experience includes: writing/producing/acting in three original stage musicals, creating CD albums and hundreds of original songs, backed by 16 years of publishing/editing/ designing 225 books of every genre for both US and foreign authors (plus six of her own!). . . add 17 years of classical piano training, 2 years in the Peace Corps in West Africa, 25 years of teaching high school French and (often on the same days) entertaining in Chicago nightclubs, being an award-winning painter, acclaimed block-art artist, patented inventor, and a “dog whisperer” . . . all while raising two life-success daughters and inspiring her two grandchildren.

Thursday night, the Watkins Theater at the Watkins College of Art in Nashville, Tennessee, is hosting Valerie and many of her supporters to a long-awaited professional actors’ “Live Readers Theater Performance” of her totally-original, full-length, pre-production musical film: LOVE IS…” 

Click HERE to see the sizzle reel!

The live narrated script-reading presentation includes big-screen video representations that accompany each of the film’s 16 original songs

The planned movie, with a view toward 2020 production, has been endorsed by world-famous-and-respected  performer, Kelsey Grammer through his production company (Grammnet Productions) crediting LOVE IS… script, music, story, and plans as follows:

“A truly inspirational

 

and touching journey

 

of life, love and laughter,

 

with a timeless message.

 

Delightful!”

 

NEWLY “ATTACHED” TO LOVE IS…

 

— As Film Music Composer and Selective Music Arranger, GEOFF KOCH brings 22 years of high profile music composing expertise to LOVE IS… He is President, Nashville Composers Association, and President of SCORE-COM, working in tandem with FILM-COM. Geoff is at the forefront of composing for productions in all genres that take place in planetarium domes worldwide . . .

 

— As Music Supervisor, ANDY HILL is a 9-time Academy Award-winner in film music. He led the “Disney Renaissance Decade” as VP of Music Production for Walt Disney Studios, including direct music supervision of The Lion King, Beauty and The Beast, and Sister Act, and subsequently for his own firm: Message In A Bottle, Ed Wood, James and the Giant Peach, and Happy Feet… before winning a Grammy Award for Best Musical Album for Children for Elmo in Grouchland.

We wish Valerie and her team

great success in their pursuit

to “go beyond” and “rise above”

in their quest to prove that

BUSINESS WORKS.

 

No responses yet

Sep 24 2018

Business? Healthcare Practice? DO IT NOW!

GROW YOUR BUSINESS OR

 

HEALTHCARE PRACTICE NOW!

 

Get your FREE no-strings-attached

weekly dose of success-anchored guidance

based on 100+ years’ experience

 

NO TRICKS. NO GIMMICKS. NO RECORDS KEPT OF YOUR VISITS. This is not some online “upgrade” deal. Get your free 22-minute podcast 24/7 via computer or mobile phone. Pick any night-or-day time slot that fits your schedule (Listen before, during/after work–even driving). Nothing to subscribe to. Replay it whenever you want.

 

EACH 22-MINUTE PODCAST gives you tools and ideas for achieving fast-track success with your small-to-medium-sized business or healthcare practice… and grow it quicker than you can do by yourself. No time limits! We don’t chase after you. We don’t even know who or where you are. Start with a “Sampler Visit”—> CLICK HERE (then scroll down to “BUSINESSWORKS” and pick any topic!)

SIMPLY LISTEN WHENEVER YOU CAN to get the best of two diverse approaches to solving your own business and practice growth problems. We share what we’ve learned to help you avoid wasting time, money, and energy.

 

YOU GET:  STIMULATING, PRACTICAL

“HOW-TO” IDEAS, PROVEN INPUT AND

ADVICE THAT GETS RESULTS. YOU GET

CAUTIONS AND ENCOURAGEMENT, PLUS

 WAYS TO DEAL MORE EFFECTIVELY WITH:

Branding. Marketing. Advertising. Sales. Community and Public Relations. Customer Service and CRM. Recruiting, Hiring and Firing. Management Coaching. Staff Training. Investments. Money/Resource Management. Outsourcing. Dealing with Partners/ Investors. New Revenue Streams. Startups/Revitalizations. Stress and Time Management. Communication Skills. Strategic Planning. Dealing With Government Agencies. Much More.

 

CO-HOSTS HAL ALPIAR AND JOHNNY STITES (and their periodic guests) help you sort through issues, stimulate your creativity, and learn to trust your own business sense and judgments.

YOU GET  HANDS-ON-EXPERIENCED INPUT from professional coaches who help grow all kinds of specialized and competitive enterprises… from construction and skilled labor to retail, manufacturing, and service entities… from healthcare practices and facilities of every specialty and description… medical centers, hospital departments/ institutes, immediate and long-term care facilities.

NOT ONLY DO BOTH HAL & JOHNNY PROVIDE a combined 100+ years of success track-record. They also offer proven expertise in managing the uniqueness’s of family businesses and in positioning nonprofit and creative project businesses and organizations for long-term growth.

 

IF YOU’RE INTERESTED

BEYOND PODCASTS . . .

CALL HAL AT 1.931.854.0474 

OR JOHNNY AT 1.931.261.7003

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Jul 24 2018

HELP Launch This Brilliant New Musical Movie!

This inspirational film musical is

about 3 intertwined, related love 

stories… with a touch of fantasy. 

 

Humor, memorable songs and dramatic edginess ala Sound of Music, La La Land and Mama Mia are delivered yet again with new and different captivating characters–struggling to conquer the trials of life in:

FEARLESS! ABOUT LOVE 

                                                                                                                                 

The music drives the emotions and dialogue of the characters singing original songs by composer Valerie Connelly in a variety of genres. 

NOW — with more than a dozen years of production testing and development (including a range of live stage performances), YOUR HELP IS NEEDED to open film production doors, recruit top talent and assist with initial development costs.

To visit a complete representation–including music and stage performance trailers–and Valerie Connelly’s lifetime of songwriting, music arrangement and composition, her recordings, live performances, and life path, simply click on the black-outlined logo box/link at the top of this column. 

 

BusinessWORKS.US

GROWING BUSINESS & PROFESSIONAL PRACTICES NOW

Check Out Co-Hosts Hal Alpiar & Johnny Stites

On Free Weekly BUSINESSWORKS Radio Show 24/7 Podcasts

Creating Record Business Growth Impact with 100 Years of Experience

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Apr 21 2018

1PM (CT) Every Sunday Every Week!

1 pm (CT), Every Sunday, Every Week . . .

 

BUSINESSWORKS

 

Broadcast Podcast Blast Off!

 

BUSINESSWORKS begins a year of free, weekly, stimulating  “business-expansion-how-to” input offerings for business owners, managers and operators, and for  professional practice owners and managers, and entrepreneurs.

 

The information source?

Two unique, and vastly different business leaders with hugely successful backgrounds:

 

HAL ALPIAR & JOHNNY STITES

 

 

Hal and Johnny are a proven, experienced, unlikely pair of highly active 70-something business success MBA mentor/coaches.

They decided they can have greater impact on business and professional practice growth and development by working as a team.

And they agree that weekly broadcasting and podcasting best allows them the flexibility to help others get things done.

Visit weekly with Hal and Johnny on News Talk 94.1 Middle Tennessee Radio AND, from anywhere else . . .  

CLICK HERE:  newstalk941.com 

FOR PODCAST

Or go to www.newstalk941.com . . . ANY time and Click on “Podcast Center” tab at top then scroll down to BUSINESSWORKS and (with volume on) click the little white circle!

“See You Sundays 1 pm on 94.1 Radio Cookeville, TN or ANYtime via podcast!”

 

BusinessWORKS

GROWING BUSINESS & PROFESSIONAL PRACTICES NOW

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Apr 06 2018

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 

 

  NOW is the time to make your business or     professional practice e x p a n d and grow… 

Are you on the launchpad or stuck in mud? Or somewhere in between? A legitimate, proven, affordable expert can provide what  you need most to expand your business or professional practice — NOW!

 

Where else can you get immediate usable creative input that’s personalized and focused on your specific needs? And all in just 3-6 weeks of ongoing, 1-on-1 telephone and email exchanges?

You won’t find a more qualified entrepreneurial business and professional practice development coach than Hal Alpiar.

Hal knows how to break sales barriers, how to start/re-start and expand businesses, how to grow your customer/client base or patient volume . . . how to help you make a difference, now!

Timing is critical. With your business ready to grow, the wrong direction could send it over the cliff instead of into orbit. 

A single word change in a branding line can bankrupt your business OR make your message a popular expression that catapults sales.

[Click free BRANDING TIPS Tab above for more.]

 

What’s it worth to feel reassured that your head is on straight about the path you want to follow?

What’s it worth to discover a last-minute adjustment that can save you a small fortune or ignite a new revenue stream? 

 

Hiring a “Yes-Person” (with associated salary, perks, benefits) to assist you with implementing your plans that might bring results, is risky at best.

Instead, for probably a lot less money, get Hal’s short-term input. He will be invested with you in your success and provide heavily-experienced creative thinking. 

 

Stop kicking the dirt and worrying.

Take 10 or 20 minutes out of your busy life to contact Hal. Ask the questions you need answered to reassure yourself –and  judge for yourself. There’s no fee to ask or to get honest answers. If he doesn’t feel he can help you succeed, he’ll tell you. If he does, he’ll tell you how.

 

Investing in Hal’s coaching is investing in your SELF, and costs a lot less than you might imagine. Confidentiality, by the way, is 100% Guaranteed!

CALL 1.931.854.0474 TODAY 9AM-9PM (CT)  

OR email hal@businessworks.US 

 

BusinessWORKS.US

 

GROWING BUSINESSES &  PROFESSIONAL PRACTICES NOW

Division of TheWriterWorks.com, LLC. Creating Record Client Growth Since 1981

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Mar 11 2018

Medical Practice & Other Healthcare Leaders: REJOICE!

Medical Practice & Other

 

Healthcare Leaders…

 

R-E-J-O-I-C-E !!

 

Finally, a simple, straightforward path to:

  • Save huge amounts of business expense

  • Have happier staff and partners invested in teamwork and in getting the most out of every hour, every day

  • Increase confidence and communicate better with patients, patient families and the communities you serve

  • Manage your own stress with easy unnoticeable steps and be able to teach those around you in 10 minutes!

  • Increase patient volume with (little-known in the health-care world) practice-building steps that are FREE!

. . . AND MUCH MORE in the new $19.95 book:

HEALTHCAREPRENEURS — the best of proven success in medical practice and healthcare business development guidance, including the latest 2018 techniques and basic step-by-step procedures to save time and aggravation.

Reader comments include:

  • “Reading this book is like having your own personal coach whispering to you from over you shoulder.”

  • “It’s like getting a lifetime of direct experience peppered throughout with subtle humor.”

  • “Loaded with easy-to-identify-with examples… stories I’ve heard but never before considered the solutions.”

  • “It’s easily worth a year+ of private-tutor-style healthcare business training that gets results!”

Healthcare business development author/coach/radio host Hal Alpiar is currently scheduling his third Workshop/Speaking/Book-Signing Tour (Tour #1 was for his 5-Star DOCTOR BUSINESS; #2, his National Healthcare Book Award-Winning DOCTOR SHOPPING)

Hal is AVAILABLE NOW AT NO FEE.

You choose from any of the 35 Chapter topics! 

He conducts these sessions in exchange for booksale opportunities and for covering (reasonable/ documented/pre-authorized) expenses only. Special arrangements for regional scheduling.

RESPOND TODAY! Schedule YOUR medical/Healthcare group NOW: Currently planning dates for independent practices, healthcare associations/organizations/local chapters, in Atlanta, Tennessee, Kentucky, Virginia,  DC, Delaware, Philadelphia, and the NJ Shore. 

hal@Businessworks.US

or prompt-reply phone message: 1.931.854.0474  

No responses yet

Apr 25 2016

“So…” answered the Millennial

Why Millennials and salespeople 

 

need to NOT  start every response 

 

with “So…” and then– to top it off

 

— fail to answer what’s asked. If

 

you’re in the job market, or a sales

 

presentation, it would be like not

 

 taking a shower for a few weeks!

PIG PEN

Q. Who is your very best friend?

A.  So… Jeremy and Charlie and Kim and Sheila are the people I see most often.

———————

Q. What was your Mother’s most important advice?

A.  So… my Mother always made me eat all my cereal.

———————

Q. When did you leave the house today?

A.  So… I never actually went home last night, y’know.

———————

Q. Where do you work?

A.  So… my company is in the city and yesterday I had to drive in.

———————

Q. Why did you do that?

A. So I think there are lots of ways people can respond.

———————

Q. How much money is in your pocket?

A.  So… my wallet is in the car.

Go ahead and ask a reasonable fact-fetching question of one of the 80 million people born between 1977 and 2000.  The odds are good that –no matter how specific your inquiry may be– the answer these days often starts out with “So…” and then proceeds to not give a direct answer.

So WhatDo these “So…” first-responders imply disinterest? Evasiveness? Insecurity? Incompetence? Un-socialability? Dumbness? Distrust? Early dementia? Lack of self-esteem? Poor listening skills? Disinterest? Societal disconnect? Snobbishness? Perhaps some. Perhaps all.

First of all, according to Jane Solomon’s post on DICTIONARY.com, “So” can be used as an adverb, a conjunction, a pronoun, an interjection, or an adjective. And the “spread” of it into popular use today as a sentence opener, especially among young people, is “probably due to the tech boom” and specifically, “programmers,” according to NPR’s Geoff Nunberg. The GRAMMARLY Blog suggests Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg is partly to blame for “notoriously using So…’ to start sentences.”

It’s been suggested that “So…” is the new “Um…” or “Uh…” or “Er…” nervous hesitancy used to fill the verbal air while momentarily thinking about what to say prior to responding, but I am doubtful. “Um” and “Uh” and “Er” are simply sounds.

“So” is an actual word. It is a connecting word. It is not a question/ answer connecting word. It is a cause-and-effect connecting word, and is used to connect a thought, word, or action with a consequence.

little girl hand to headA BBC host says that at the beginning of a (non-consequential) sentence, using the word “So” is an attempt “to try to sound important” and “intellectual.” A popular psychologist calls it a “weasel word” used to “avoid giving a straight answer.” Not a good practice for any business, and especially for small business, which is much more vulnerable to “beating around the bush” than corporate types who often seem to thrive on being indirect.

 

FAST COMPANY says “So…” at the beginning of an answer “Insults your audience… Undermines your credibility… and Demonstrates discomfort with the subject matter.”

 

Mark Mason in The SPECTATOR, says it’s due to “accommodation” because we try to be part of groups and often simply do and say things that others in the group do and say. It, he says, “spreads like the flu.” He cleverly ends his (“It’s SO Annoying”) post  on the subject with:

“As ye so, so shall ye reap”

 

So it’s contagious! Some top TV news analysts have begun integrating the (shall we call it) evasiveness into their summary statements. And it’s inching it’s way into the 40+ crowd. Personally, I have no problem with starting a sentence with “So…” unless it’s the beginning of a sentence that is answering a direct question.

Bad Interview

Bottom Line: If someone in a job interview or “sale size-up” meeting says, “So, tell me about your (or the product/service) background, you might consider it an endearing attempt to help you feel comfortable, but if you respond (or answer ANY direct question) by starting with “So…” your job (or sale) prospects may very well be doomed. It can easily be received in the same fashion as you folding your arms and staring at the door! Not giving a straight, direct answer can be taken as a mixed message.

# # #

hal@businessworks.US

STRATEGY/ CONTENT/ CONNECTION

Higher impact. Lower costs.

——————-

Business Development/ National-Awards/ Record Client Sales

Entrepreneurship & Expansion Coaching    931.854.0474

Go for your goals, thanks for your visit, God Bless You!

OPEN  MINDS  OPEN  DOORS

Make Today A Great Day For Someone!

2 responses so far

Feb 19 2016

If this kills you, call your doctor!

pink elephant

 

If  PINKI-ELLAFONTAY

 

causes excessive bleeding,

 

liver or kidney disease, cancer,

 

congestive heart failure, death or

 

suicide, be sure to tell your doctor.

 

 

Are you kidding? Does anyone out there in pharmaceutical fairyland realize how utterly ridiculous they sound trying to bury imbecilic disclaimer utterances like this in the middle of fantasy advertising film footage of joyful, beach-skipping, pool-jumping, exhilarated couples and families and pets?

Do you overpaid ad agency wackos think the whole world is stupid?

Surely you jest? I mean who in their right mind is going to run out and buy (or request an Rx for) your moronic brand name medication after one-tenth of a second of thought about the purposefully misleading messages you dare to flood the airwaves with? That’s like promising a pink elephant!

In case you haven’t noticed, this is 2016. We are far beyond such childish displays of intentionally deceptive, insulting, brain-wasting messages.

And your market research people are wrong. No one rushes to their pharmacy or doctor (or undertaker) requesting your stupid-named, stupidly-advertised, wildly over-priced brand because they identify with the actors and actresses and phony scripts in phony settings set to jubilant music with schmaltzy-voice over announcers rattling out disclaimer warnings like they were available ice cream toppings.

Let’s get rid of this nonsense in favor of reality and straightforward educational presentations. How about messages that reach out and grab?

Sorry, but I really don’t need to see animated intestines dancing on my TV screen accompanied by threats of death from constipation or diarrhea to appreciate the plights of those who suffer such inhumane ailments.

How refreshing would it be, instead, to see and hear advertising that teaches how to carefully question (and carefully listen to the answers provided by) my healthcare professionals?

scull and crossbones

It really IS time for pharma businesses to start acting and talking like responsible adults with more concern for the well-being of human beings than for lining their pockets with astronomically disproportionate salaries and for covering their butts with thinly disguised legal jargon . . . just in case their great products should fail. And don’t blame the government. We all know they are clueless. EXPLAIN government-mandated disclaimers. Don’t bury them.

Stop the foolishness. Speak the truth. Teach us. Show us. Educate us. Be specific, don’t gloss over. Use honest true facts, not make-believe charts and misleading visuals. Be the kinds of teachers you’d like to see your children have. INTEGRITY is the word! Now would you like to know how I REALLY feel? 😉

# # #

hal@businessworks.US

STRATEGY/ CONTENT/ CONNECTION

Higher impact. Lower costs.

——————-

Business Development/ National-Awards/ Record Client Sales

Entrepreneurship & Expansion Coaching    931.854.0474

Go for your goals, thanks for your visit, God Bless You!

OPEN  MINDS  OPEN  DOORS

Make Today A Great Day For Someone!

 

 

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