Disagreements are

triggered by real or

perceived threats,

 injustices, and

unmet expectations.

If you’re not seeking a win-win result,

you lose. If, however, you are seeking for

both sides to walk away winners, check this…

Here’s a helpful checklist of steps to keep handy as you seek to negotiate your way through any disagreement with another person or group of people. Following these guidelines can help to disarm real or perceived threats, injustices, and unmet expectations by putting it all on the table and by facilitating (with pleasant assertiveness) forward movement…on the job, or off: 

1)   BOTH SIDES MUST ACCEPT

that the responsibility for striking up a successful relationship, or renegotiating a pre-existing one, is shared.

“Before we set out to produce a useful contract, we both (all) need to accept and act from a position of 50-50 ownership.”  

2)   A FREE, UNRESTRICTED ATTITUDE

must prevail. Agreements that are manipulated or coerced will not last. Those who do not freely choose to agree are not ready to contract with others at any level.

“Before we build this bridge over troubled waters, let us (all) agree to not exert any external stresses on the materials we use, the time we decide on, the people and equipment we choose to do the job, or the costs involved”

3)   BOTH SIDES MUST BE WILLING

 to give fair consideration to one another’s situations, circumstances, opinions, assertions, evidence, concerns, experience, skill, knowledge, and financial and physical and spiritual limitations. Even boss-employee relationships cannot produce something from nothing.

“I’m happy to give you the benefit of some extra hours (days) off if you are willing to put the extra effort in that we need right now, and can get the job done the right way on schedule.”

4)   ANYTHING ANYBODY WANTS

is legitimate. It may not be desirable, advisable, or affordable, but there’s nothing wrong with expressing desires (that are, of course, legal and nonviolent).

“You want a hundred million dollars for this land assessed at $900,000? Okay, you’re entitled to want that.”

5)   Remember the song: “YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT” ?

It’s true, and that’s okay too!

6)   YOU CAN CHOOSE TO REFUSE.

You may not want to deal with the consequences of refusing, but you can always simply say “No!”

7)   THE ONLY DEAL ITEMS 

you can put on the table are behavior, results, time and money. Attitudes and emotions cannot be contracted for.

8)   IF YOU OR THE OTHER PARTY

doesn’t have or is unable to provide something, don’t waste time and energy seeking it.

9)   PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT PRESENT

cannot be contracted with.

10)  PUT IT IN WRITING. PUT IT IN WRITING. PUT IT IN WRITING.

11)  BUILD IN  “What Happens If” CONTINGENCY ARRANGEMENTS.

Always take the time to consider “worst case scenario” possibilities. 

12)  MAKE SURE TO SET UP A WAY TO MEASURE PROGRESS.

It’s hard to know where you’re going if you don’t know where you’ve been.   

This adaptation was inspired by a 1985 guideline “When You’re Negotiating” published by Designed Learning, Inc.

302.933.0116    Hal@BusinessWorks.US  

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson] 

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