Did you let somebody

down this week?

     Did someone have expectations that you would do justice to her or him, or to the task at hand…that you would turn in a stellar performance? And you bombed out?

     By any chance, was that “someone” who anticipated greatness from you…was that you?

     Regardless of whether you did yourself in, or let someone else down, the point is that you flubbed it, right? Badly? So badly that you hate reading this right now because just thinking about it gives you the guilties?

     Step back. Get out of your own way for a minute. Take a deep breath and clear your brain. Now look at this again. We’re taught to aim high. Nothing wrong with that.

     But if you screwed yourself, figuratively speaking of course, maybe it’s because you weren’t leaving room to be flexible about achieving an outcome?

     Maybe you lost sightof the reality that you choose your behavior, that you choose your pursuits–even that you choose to feel guilty. Hmmm, that’s worth choosing to think about. 

     You didn’t fail anyone else because others don’t have the right to judge you based on expectations. Yeah, well, sounds good, I know, but it’s done every day, probably every minute of every hour. Reality says that more likely than not, it just seems that way.

     So, how can you pull the rug out from under faulty assumptions? First don’t make any yourself! You already know about “assume” making an “ass” out of “u” and “me.” Recognize that expectations (which are usually based on assumptions) breed disappointment.

     Unless you work at not having expectations and at not making assumptions, you will do both. Then comes failure to rise to the occasion. Then comes disappointment and then along comes guilt. You remember guilt?

      THE FIX:

• Keep conscious control of your unconscious mind by focusing on the present here-and-now moment each passing moment as much as you possibly can.
• Don’t waste energy dwelling on past fantasies that cannot be changed and don’t wast energy worrying about future fantasies that haven’t yet come, and may never.
• Do lots of deep breathing to relax muscles and make your mind more alert.
• Withhold judgements as much as possible. (And remember everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!) 
• Remember that assumptions, expectations and guilt feelings are all CHOICES, and that it’s just as easy to choose a positive attitude as it is to choose a negative one.  

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 Hal@TheWriterWorks.com or 302.933.0116  Thanks for visiting. 

Go for your goals, good night and God bless you!