Don’t try to be

something you’re not!

A good many over-zealous entrepreneurs (are there any other kind?) seem to think that the solution to their financial woes is to try to be all things to everyone…”Whaddever ya need, we got it!” I heard a small business owner say recently, and he wasn’t talking about one type or category of products or services. He meant, literally, that he could provide ANYthing.

Well, of course he couldn’t really do that, but he was ready to pounce on any opportunity to make a buck – willing to stand on his head and spit wooden nickles if he thought it would part you with the money in your pocket. A huckster? Not really. He was simply misunderstanding that those who purport to be jacks of all trades are no longer credible or desirable in today’s world.

When economic times get tough,

dig in, don’t spread out!

People want knowledgeable, reputable, professional specialists –doctors, plumbers, teachers, builders, most retailers, consultants, lawyers, manufacturers, online businesses, et al. Most of us save up to deal with fly-by-night generalist businesses for when we’re on vacation and expect to get “taken” by those who cater to tourists . . . but not the rest of the year!

It’s easy and tempting to jump on a customer request when it’s not something that’s really up your alley if you’re expenses are dragging you closer to the brink of desperation than your income can comfortably offset. It’s easy and tempting, but it’s also stupid! In the end, trying to be all things to all people will turn around and slap you in the face . . . or kick your butt!

Force yourself to stop and think about what YOU want when YOU are on the buying end. If that’s not enough to turn your brain around, remember the old  Miracle On 34th Street Christmas movie storyline about how much the Macy’s Santa does for Macy’s by sending customers that Macy’s had no ability to serve to Macy’s competitor, Gimbels.

That’s not just some fantasy Christmas movie. There are millions of similar dynamic incidents that drive successful entrepreneurial enterprises today. What people want from you is trust. They want honesty. They want you to help them solve a problem, not try to sell them something they don’t need or want. Should you send everyone to your competitor? Of course not.

But customers don’t want to deal with a business that pretends to have the answer to their dreams because it represents a “quick buck” opportunity. Professional salespeople know this. Many entrepreneurs do not, and continue to try being something they’re not. Bottom line? People are not stupid. They know when a business owner is pretending.

The best solution is authenticity. It wins more business in a minute than years of make-believe.

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If you own or operate a

business or professional

practice . . . . . YOU are

“The Mother of Invention”

If you work anywhere in that vast sea of government or private mega-enterprise incompetence, click off here and visit some other website that lets you be corporately lethargic and obscure. If, however, you’re running or managing your own business or some innovative part of a business –real parent or not– read on: YOU are the “Mother of Invention.”

Now Peter Drucker who’s referred to as the “Father of Management” may not like that idea, but–I would challenge him. I mean, when did “Mother” ever lose to “Father”?

Today, in other words, is also a day to celebrate YOU being your business’s parent.

First off, anyone who works for you sees you in a parental light. You are looked up to for guidance and leadership. You are a role model. You may not like providing inspiration or being thought of as something special, but you ARE.

When you can face up to it and make the most of it, you’ll be helping your staff, your self and your business to grow.

Don’t just provide leadership. Provide leadership by example; people want to learn by watching and trying and doing.

Don’t just provide leadership. Provide leadership that’s transparent. Keep all your business dealings clearly defined and out in the open. Forget that you have a “Bcc” setting on your emails. Stop closing doors. Share information freely.

If you’ve hired good people to start with, you’re only toying with risk levels that are reasonable. If you’ve got a bad apple or two, your open-and-above-boardness will flush them out.

In other words:

Give everyone a chance to give you a chance

for your business to have a chance to succeed.

Now, Mothers and Fathers, let’s look at that “Invention” word that you’re parenting. And this, by the way, includes the world of healthcare– especially hospitals! If you’re not CONSTANTLY creating and inventing and innovating . . . coming up with new ideas, ways, methods, designs, plans, steps, contacts, messages . . . EVERY DAY, then you are investing in the status quo.

Keeping things the same, not rocking the boat, and “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” are the prevalent nonproductive notions anchoring most stagnant corporate giants, every government agency, and all unsuccessful small businesses.

Business owner Job One is to stay out of that trap. Don’t let anything interfere with your daily birthing of inventive thinking. It’s how you started your business. It’s what’s carried your business. It’s what will will make the difference between your business surviving and your business thriving in the months and years ahead.

This doesn’t mean every lightbulb that goes on over your head needs to light up the world, or even that little dark corner of your workspace, but it does mean that you and your business cannot afford to pull the plug on that open socket; keep trying out new bulbs; follow up with some and discard others. [Edison made 10,000 tries before inventing the lightbulb!]

Innovation, remember, is taking the rarest of those good ideas and seeing them all the way through, every specific step of the way, to their final destination markets — even if only on paper or the computer screen. Together with your business itself, it’s those parented ideas that become the inventions that you mother and nurture into adulthood. Happy Mother’s Day!

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There is no way to happiness.

Happiness IS the way!

Stop looking for the finish line. Watch your feet. Happiness is not the destination. Happiness is the journey.

If you’re having trouble getting that message, it’s because you’ve consciously or unconsciously chosen to set yourself up to get brainwashed into thinking that nothing of any value exists besides the future. Well, in fact, dwelling on the past that’s over and can’t be changed is equally neurotic to being focused on the future that hasn’t yet come . . . and may never!

This futures mindset is a common occurance with salespeople who live to reach and exceed their weekly and monthly and quarterly and annual goals. Nothing wrong with goals that are specific, realistic, flexible, due-dated, and written. But the blind pursuit of any target that doesn’t measure up to all five of those criteria is simply a futile wish-list chase into fantasyland.

Talk with a car salesperson to get a better perspective on how happiness gets lost under reckless abandon to achieve a rigid inflexible goal at all costs.

If a goal is flexible, for example, and it’s clearly not going to be met, it needs simply to be changed — change the amount, the time period, the process, the methods, etc. Effective goals are not meant to be etched in concrete. Meaningful targets are always moving. Effective goal achievers move with them by glancing ahead and staying firmly anchored in the present.

What makes focusing on the future unhealthy? It quickly and easily turns away from being a positive and constructive direction when it stealthily tip-toes over the line into worry. Worrying is a complete waste of time and energy. It produces absolutely nothing except negative stress which rapidly produces illness.

Okay, you’ll grant me that worrying is worthless, so if that’s the problem, what’s the solution? It’s not a magic answer because each of us handles stress differently. So here’s a list of the most common solutions that most people tend to practice in one form or another. Try what sounds right for you, and what seems practical at the time.

Then keep trying until something works, but don’t quit on yourself!

Yoga; swimming; jogging; workouts; walking; singing; dancing; deep breathing; massage therapy; crafts; playing with a baby; playing with kids of any age; playing with pets; keeping a journal or diary; visiting another close environment (woods, beach, etc.); reading fiction; watching a cartoon; drawing/sketching/painting; fixing a meal (if this is not something you usually do); listening to music with your eyes closed . . .

The point is to know when you’re starting to feel stressed (this can be the most challenging part of the solution) and nthen to stop whatever you’re doing and do something different for a minute, an hour, a day . . . whatever’s appropriate for you, now.

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“If you think sometimes

  that you just can’t win,

remember that life

is not a contest!”

– Kathy Alpiar

She reminded me of this shortly before her life struggles ended this past March at age 55. She had reminded me of it often over the last 25 years of our marriage . . .  almost always after my face retreated into my hands bemoaning some frustrating situation or another that I had somehow boxed myself into. I’m told everyone does this on occasion?

If you’re an American, you probably grew up with the conviction that everything you had to deal with every day –from school and Scouts to college or trade school and a career to marriage and family raising– was (is) a contest!

Admittedly, in a nation dominated by sports performance and competition at literally every level of life, it’s hard to grasp that “life is not a contest.”

But it’s NOT a contest.

(Workaholics, please re-read those last five words!)

• Life is a gift. It is a blessing. We either consciously or unconsciously choose to embrace it, or choose to waste it.

• Life is a waste when it’s obsessively dedicated to ultimately meaningless, make-believe values — making money, acquiring things, trying to impress, being self-serving and self-indulgent, putting others down, bullying, chastising differences, thinking and acting dishonestly.

How much of our precious time on Earth is wasted each day trying to get even; trying to undermine, manipulate, or represent ourselves as more than what we are; trying to pretend; trying to bait those who are weaker into our arena so we can defeat them or make them look foolish? Can any of that possibly be serving our true best interests?

If the answer to that question about how much time, by the way, is anything more than one minute, it may be worthwhile to think twice about Kathy’s quote. In other words, is our purpose here on this planet to make a difference?

How important is integrity?

Kathy wasn’t suggesting that we all abandon competition and head for some mountaintop to meditate on our navels. Of course we have to be responsible to earn a living and pay our bills. But what she was saying was that there’s a whole lot more to life than having such narrow pursuits d-i-c-t-a-t-e human existence.

Entrepreneurs get pounded over the head with these finger-waving “take time to smell the flowers” thoughts because they tend to disappear into a product/service development zone to the exclusion of friends, family, and many of life’s joyful experiences. They substitute the pursuit of “success” to the exclusion of what’s around them. I know because I’ve been there.

But I’ve come to realize that return on investment is not the sole province of business. ROI has also to do with having an ongoing sense of humor, a conscious effort to cultivate only positive stress, making room in our lives for living, keeping our promises, and being perpetually focused on service to others. Thanks Kathy.

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If the past sits in judgment

of the present,

will  the future be lost?

I heard a twist of this (the headline above) on the radio recently. I can’t tell you when or where or who, but it rang a bell. Is it just my imagination or do we too often –in life and in business– get ourselves caught up in over-analyzing what went wrong and what went right in order to decide what we should be doing today? Some of my earlier posts called it analysis paralysis.

Contrary to many popular beliefs, over-analyzing is not a symptom of entrepreneurship.

We live (men especially) in an analytical world. We watch instant TV sports replays in slow motion and stop action in order to know down deep in our souls whether the ball actually touched the ground before it was caught, or while it was caught, or after it was caught. I mean, like who could possibly sleep without a satisfying answer to that nagging question?

Probably, an entrepreneur. Okay, well, there are entrepreneurs and there are psychopreneurs!

Those who are unfortunate enough to have to make a living working for the government or some mega corporation probably spend half their careers taking apart research reports and study findings looking for clues about what happened or didn’t happen last month, last quarter, last year, last decade . . . in order to adjust a present course of action.

Entrepreneurs make adjustments on the fly. If they’re wrong, they adjust the adjustment and try again.

Most corporate and government managers, for instance, weigh risks then use analytics to justify not taking them. Who in their right mind, for example, would want to make waves that could topple the corporate ladder she or he is climbing?

Entrepreneurs take reasonable risks (which rarely if ever includes climbing political ladders). Entrepreneurs will bet their profits, but they won’t bet their farms. They will start a new side business, but they won’t visit casinos or stuff their pockets with lottery tickets — those are not reasonable risks.

The problem of course is that the more we tend to assess who did what to whom and what broke when and why the horse we led to water didn’t drink, the farther away we get from moving forward, from innovating, from controlling our own destinies, from making the differences each of us wants to make in this world.

Entrepreneurs, by virtue of how they think and act, and choose to believe, represent society’s real catalysts for change. Maybe they do work harder and not smarter, but they get things done. They alone drive the economy. They alone represent the opportunities that government and corporate giant environments fail to breed.

Entrepreneurs move constantly forward into the future while focusing on the present.

When you find product or service you like, that works the way it’s supposed to and is economical to boot, know that it was likely created and cultivated without excessive analysis . . . and thank an entrepreneur.

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Are you just along for the ride

…or are you making it happen?

The physical world that each of us inhabit may be the same planet in the same universe, but the mental, emotional, and spiritual worlds each of us wake up to every morning are as radically different as each of us is unique, even when we may be living, working, and playing with common goals, grounds, pursuits, and like-minded people.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs spells out how different the motivation needs are for each person at any given moment, and suggests that we do the best we can as employers to be good detectives and figure out –ongoing– what, exactly, will prompt repeat positive behaviors. 

Most people DO the jobs they have; they get through the day; they “live” for the weekend; they rise to the occasion when necessary not out of enthusiasm, but from feelings of obligation . . . or fear. Are you listening to this, dear boss’s? If it sounds familiar, you may want to reassess where your business is headed, who’s going along for the ride, and who’s making it happen.

This –2012– is not a time to be timid in your decision making about your people and your purposes if you are to continue moving forward. No, I’m not suggesting a program of ruthlessness. I am merely pointing out something you already know but have perhaps relegated the thinking to that back burner in your mind: that things are not always what they seem.

Every business owner’s greatest asset is her or his people. But just being friendly and nice to your people is not enough to lead you (and them) down that elusive path of success and prosperity.

Even in these uncertain economic times, employees today seek challenge, opportunity, recognition, and appreciation more than pay raises. Let me say that again: Employees today seek challenge, opportunity, recognition, and appreciation more than pay raises. If you just passed over the earlier reference to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, stop a minute to check it out here.

This is not to suggest that money is unimportant; money earned though as part of –for example–  a performance incentive that drives new business in the door is valued much more than an annual review raise.

When companies give turkeys out

every Thanksgiving,

they are expected to give turkeys out

every Thanksgiving.

As with many government program recipients, it’s easy to become lackadaisical, uninspired, and dependent when business owners (or the government) cultivate those behaviors. But there’s no need to go off the deep end and become a rah-rah cheerleader. . . or pile rewards on people to the point of disability, or –like the turkeys– have them be taken for granted.

It doesn’t really take a lot of time or energy to pat backs; shake hands; smile; offer sincere compliments; say please and thank you with at least a flicker of eye contact (or some email boldfacing); or make a practice of telling people how much you appreciate them for their time/ effort/ support/ loyalty/ conscientiousness . . .

Take another look around you. What and who are your sources of reliability and positive energy? What and who are pulling you and your business into uninspired, negative directions? As Chaucer said over 600 years ago,  Time and tide wait for no man. Don’t delay taking action. Being timid costs money and relationships. Choose instead to step it up and move on.

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WHY?

WHY NOT?

WHY NOT ME?

…WHY NOT NOW?

The tougher that times get, the more focused we need to be on the here-and-now present. Anything else triggers agita! Demonstrating to our customers, prospects, employees, associates, investors, advisors, referrers, and community-at-large that we are seriously committed to making things happen quickly is one of the strongest impressions a business can make.

This is not to suggest a haste-makes-waste attitude that ends up costing money or relationships. Instead, it’s all about responding promptly to what’s asked of us. Every business owner knows that pleasing others and building strong work relationships and customer relationships is directly related to one’s ability to “hop to it” when a request or purchase is made.

But all too often, this ownership sense of urgencyis never passed along through the rank and file. In my work with at least a thousand businesses over the years, I’ve heard frequent references to “The Boss” as someone who works hard and responds quickly to the interests others express or show in the business, or in the business offerings. But it’s not contagious!

Many employees and associates seem to settle into a lethargic comfort zone that relies on the boss’s behaviors to make things happen instead of assuming responsibility to follow the boss’s lead and adopt her or his commitment to action.

With the assurance that some action is always better than no action –at least in business– most bosses fail to communicate a sense of hustle to those around them.

When did you last gather your staff or team together to let them know how much you’re counting on them to solve customer problems and fill needs as quickly as they can, how important this single commitment is to repeat sales?  Are you rewarding hustle? Try tossing a one dollar coin (because it’s uncommon, it’s special) at someone every time you observe rapid response activity. You’ll be amazed at how far that single dollar will go toward motivating urgency.

• A 6pm phone call requesting delivery of a part 400 miles away by 9am the next morning was greeted by one delivery service with “Sorry our switchboard is closed after 5pm; try back tomorrow.”

• Another delivery service responded by saying it would have to cost $2,500 to get the part to its destination by 9am because the driver was scheduled to go the opposite direction and would have to leave two hours earlier to fill the request.

• A third company said the office was closed and all the trucks were scheduled for the morning, but the person answering the phone said he had nothing planned for the evening and would take the part personally in his car for gas, tolls and breakfast… $323.50. Do you think that customer returned to the third company for future deliveries? 

It’s really hard to respond too quickly to a customer or prospect request. In fact, they’ll surely tell you if that’s the case. But no one forgets the business that goes out of its way to see to it that requests are handled and processed promptly. It’s called having an Action Attitude. Do you?

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You are not what you sell.

You are what you solve.

True business professionals who dwell in the world of sales, and all small business owners (who live there too) know instinctively that they are not really salespeople pushing their wares and services on others.

They recognize that they are actually problem solvers who listen carefully to customers and prospects and respond with solutions. They focus on building relationships.

The problem is that solving the problem is often glossed over, dismissed, and sidetracked in the process of communicating with a customer or prospect. How often have you heard a store or organization or company rep start out (or jump to her or his safety net when a positive response is not evident) by rattling out a long list of product or service features?

It’s human nature to talk about all the strong points and unique features of a product or service we want others to like, and want, and dive into their pockets for the money we hope they’ll produce. But human nature doesn’t move sales. Customers and prospects don’t buy features. They buy benefits.

How long will this product or service last? How economical is it? How does it work? What colors are available? How spectacular is the price deal? How great is the supplier company or organization? These are all very nice kinds of things to get across because they help purchasers justify their decisions to others (bosses, spouses, friends, etc.) BUT . . .

None of those kinds of features will trigger a purchase.

Features are rational objective things. People are motivated by emotions. Maybe they’re simply charmed by the rep, or maybe they’ve been convinced that the personal benefits to be had outweigh the expense . . . because the product or service solves their problem!

We buy benefits: how easy and convenient this makes your life, how much your friends and neighbors will admire your good taste, how great you look with/in/next to it, how terrific your garden will be when this thing keeps the deer and rabbits away, what you can do for your children’s/grandchildren’s future with the savings from this policy, how wonderful this will look in your living room/dining room/kitchen.

And how do you get someone to this decision point? 1) By listening carefully (prompt customers and prospects to talk 80% of the time!), and 2) By processing what you hear and see to show how what you have to offer can solve their problem.

Anyone can ram features down someone’s throat. This loses more sales than anything else. It takes patience, understanding, and sitting (mentally and physically) on the same side of the table, working in concert to solve the buyer’s problem.

For immediate, focused, affordable sales help, call me now: 302.933.0116

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 With thanks to my LinkedIn friend Kevin Kempler for inspiring this post

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Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

How I Am, Who I Appreciate, and

What I Need Your Help With . . .

Everyone, it seems, asks how I am. The bottom line? My Brain and Body are Back, but my Soul and Spirit have been forever altered. I’m working through it, but I know I will never get past it. I can only trust the pain will be less severe over time.

But not to worry. You won’t read post after post here dwelling on what’s over that I can’t change. Regrouping with myself to gain that perspective is the reason I took so long to attempt this get-new-writing-business/blog post/Twitter comeback.

For some, I’m sure I’ve already said it all. I know. I do have a tendency that way. But I would be terribly remiss to not address some critical business issues that Kathy’s death brought suddenly to the surface.

FIRST among these, is my business with YOU . . . to say how deeply appreciative I am for the outpouring of prayers and good wishes from so many. A hundred and fifty people at her service last weekend. Two hundred cards in the mail. Three hundred emails. And surely over a thousand phone calls and personal visits in the months 0f her illness and the weeks since her passing.

I stand humbled and astonished by it all. Maybe I shouldn’t be. Maybe I should have expected it. Kathy, after all, was an exceptional person to so many. She changed my life for the better in every way imaginable. She gave me so much love that my actions and my whole way of thinking moved in new directions. She made me a better person. She took my breath away and turned it into the wind that filled my sails and lifted my wings.

SECOND, on the business-related lineup of things I must mention: Kathy’s absence as my daily work and marriage partner for over 25 years created a chasm the likes of which I never even imagined having to face — and cross. And there you all were again — so many friends and neighbors and family members, so many business associates and clients, even total strangers, coming to my rescue, stepping up. Telling you I’m grateful doesn’t even come close.

I have had to reassess my life and begin to think of business transitions and new business directions and so, I’m turning to you, my 3,000+ long-term, loyal friends and supporters, to ask for help in stirring up marketing assignments, and business and personal development writing and consulting assignments for me.

If you can find it, I can do it. Email me Hal@BUSINESSWORKS.US or just pick up the phone: 302.933.0116.

THIRD, is this blog and Twitter. I will be back into the full swing of business and personal development issues beginning Monday, April 23 . . . the blog, probably on a twice or three times-a-week basis to start, and Twitter?: most nights.

It feels nervous to be writing this, and re-emerging from the shadows, but somebody’s gotta do it, right? Thank you for re-joining me and for referring and recommending visitors to this site. God Bless You!

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R.I.P.  KATHY ALPIAR

10/8/56 — 3/9/12

Puppy dogs, teddy bears,

flashy socks, zany pj’s,

and authenticity

earned her

endless friendships

A Millsboro, Delaware, resident, she attended Trenton State College after graduating from E. Brunswick (NJ) High School, and later completed a signing program to work with deaf and hearing impaired children. She was particularly proud of her Big Brothers and Big Sisters counseling experience, her guitar playing, needlecraft creations, her nine-years as a bank branch manager and loan officer, and nine years as a wholesale food distributor general manager and company purchasing agent.

But Kathleen Alpiar’s greatest career accomplishments came in her work with her husband, Hal. They were partners in Businessworks, a professional management and marketing solutions firm in NJ, and then TheWriterWorks.com, LLC. professional writing and marketing services (in DE).

With her business functions, Kathy specialized in proofing, and in coordinating and contracting freelance providers –designers, printers, photographers, illustrators, and promotional suppliers– in facilitating client communications and project scheduling, and in financial management.

As a result of Kathy’s organizational efforts to support her husband’s creative skills, the two won a national book award for Doctor Shopping…How to Choose the Right Doctor for You and Your Family, plus numerous other book awards and national marketing awards for client projects.

She contributed to hundreds of healthcare development projects, and spearheaded managerial coordination for the successful plan and launch of the Pennsylvania Heart Institute; BioMotion of America (3-D motion analysis for physical therapy); Rubberecycle (recycled tire rubber particles for play, sports, and horse training surfaces); Orthopedic Patient Partnerships and Backpackers Spine Health & Strength Training programs (and others) for NJ medical centers.

Her business and personal travels took her to over twenty-five states with numerous visits to Ireland, England, Mexico, Costa Rica, Belize, Dominican Republic, Canada, Curacao, Bonaire, Antigua, St. Bart’s, St. Thomas, and St. Maartin. She liked the West Coast of Ireland best.

Kathy’s favorite pastimes though, featured day trips from home –in both Delaware and New Jersey—to take bayfront and oceanfront beach walks with Hal and her pets. They lived in Brick and Little Egg Harbor, NJ, prior to relocating to Delaware. Kathy collected teddy bears, and small gifts to bring to every host home she visited. She particularly liked doing
word puzzles, and believe it or not, enjoyed cleaning; she was very proud of her home and her housekeeping.

She made frequent appearances at Southern Delaware Olde Tymers Softball League games to cheer on her husband and his teammates (as well as the opposing teams), and enjoyed monthly gatherings of her mother’s active adult community neighbors.

Kathy had a magic way with all animals, but especially dogs, the truest loves of her life  –any and all dogs— especially her childhood family pet, a wire-haired terrier named Thumper, and her own cocker spaniels Rusty, Maddigan, Sam, and Tuckerton… and golden retriever, Barnegat…. all of whom her family believes she is now happily reunited with.

Kathy (or “Kath” as those closest called her) passed away quickly and quietly at 2:58am on March 9, 2012, at the University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore, after a year-long illness and two-month-long health struggle.

Born October 8, 1956 in Pittsburgh, she was the daughter of E. Timothy Marshall, deceased, and Marian Marshall, 89, of East Brunswick, NJ. She is also survived by her husband-business partner  of 25 years, Hal Alpiar, Millsboro, DE; her brother Timothy Marshall and his two sons Tim and Chris, and Timothy’s wife Victoria, Metuchen, NJ; her sister Lynne Polodna and husband David and their two daughters Emy and Leigh, La Crosse, WI; her brother Bob Marshall and wife Lynne and their two children Matthew and Megara, East Brunswick, NJ; her brother Peter Marshall and wife Claire and their two sons Garrett and Connor, Englishtown, NJ.

Kathy is survived also by her step-children Christopher Alpiar (and his partner Tina Stafford), Atlanta, GA; Melissa Alpiar, Yonkers, NY; and Haley Murphy and Haley’s husband Harrison, and their three children – Kathy’s grandchildren: Talley, Dylan, and Gwyn, Great Falls, VA; her brother-n-law Rick Alpiar and wife Ann Papa Alpiar, and their son Christopher and daughter Casey, New Rochelle, NY; her favorite cousins Danielle Dixon-Moyle and husband Bill, Lake Hopatcong, NJ; and Alex Dixon, Durham, NC; and Danielle and Alex’s mother, Claire, Lake Hopatcong, NJ, and Betty DeGroat, Tampa, FL, and Betty’s son Tad and daughter Stacey; and –last but not least— Kathy’s three dearest friends Melanie Adair, North Plainfield, NJ, Beverly Marsh, Sommerville, NJ, and “Breezy,” her 1½-year-old Cavachon puppy, Millsboro, DE.

A special memorial service led by family friend, Pastor Gary Hayden of the Midway Baptist Church on Rt. 24 in Lewes, DE, is scheduled to take place at 3pm on Saturday, April 14, 2012, at the Wharton’s Bluff Gazebo (pool and dock area) on the Indian River, adjacent to Kathy’s townhome in Millsboro. An open house reception will follow. Those interested in attending the service are asked to please bring a folding chair, and plan to park in the less-trafficked areas of the development and walk to the Gazebo.

In the event of inclement weather, the service will be moved to Midway Baptist Church, 21265 John Williams Way (Rt. 24) in Lewes, DE, halfway between downtown Millsboro and Route 1.

Kathy requested that instead of flowers, donations in any amount affordable be made to her favorite charity: the Popcorn Park Zoo, One Humane Way, Forked River, NJ 08731. Please note on the envelope: Attention Renee. And please note inside, that the tax-deductible contribution is for Kathy Alpiar. The Popcorn Park Zoo is a sanctuary for abandoned and handicapped wildlife.  Kathy visited there often and contributed regularly to this nonprofit’s efforts.  # # #